Sunday, August 29, 2010
The challenge was to do anything toward reaching your goal, except for relating your activity to the number on the scale.
For me it was difficult not focusing on the scale, because I had an original goal of losing 6o pounds by September 5th. August 1st, I was 18 pounds away from my goal.
So if I could not focus on the scale, I decided I would focus on my plan and it worked!!!
I had success!!!
~ Journal - Recorded my food every day
~ Calories - Averaged 16oo calories per day
~ Water - Drank at least 72 oz each day and then some
~ Exercise - Walked 21 miles, lifted weights 2 times a week, went to water aerobics 4 times and rode my bike 35 miles
August starting weight 232.4 and ending weight 225.8 = 6.6 pounds lost!!!!
Still short 11.4 pounds until the wedding on September 5th. I hope to lose another 4 by then. If I make it ~ that would be awesome. If I don't, then....I'm still REALLY HAPPY!!!
When I get back from our trip, I'm going to set a new goal for Christmas. Can't wait!!!
Have you set your goal yet?
1.) Deliberate Life
2.) Believe In Yourself
Friday, August 27, 2010
We are getting ready for our big family trip to Colorado for our oldest sons wedding. They are getting married at the Denver Bronco's Stadium, so it's quite the ta-do! So many things we have to do to get ready. Hubby and I are flying with our other son, daughter and 2 grand babies (2 1/2 years old & 8 months). So I'm packing, mailing stuff and shopping to get ready.
Plus still super focused on my health. Lots of time in the gym and exercising! Also working full time! Whew!
Some really cool things are happening...
I finally hit a big one!!! I now weigh 226. I have not been at this weight since I moved back to Oregon 18 years ago. The friends I have now, have never seen me this "thin"!
Cross Over to New Intensity
All of a sudden I've cross over to new intensity. Working harder at the gym and pushing myself with all the exercise I do. Plus I've dropped my calories about 400-500 per day and I'm not even hungry. I am really satisfied, have a ton of energy and it's working for me! No cravings for sweets or salty things. Now I crave chicken, veggies and fruit.
Other People's Clothes
Went to my daughters house the other day. She wanted me to try on some of her clothes that she wore after she had her babies. I tried them on and they fit. Size LARGE. She said some of the things were purchased in the "JUNIOR" section of the store. I went home with a load of her clothes. She said it was so weird that I was shopping for "her" closet. I loved it!!!
Then yesterday I was complaining to my hubby that my gym shorts were too big! They were hanging off of my body and looked awful! He gave me a pair of his that he's not wearing anymore and they FIT!!! Men's size medium. I used to be able to only find my shorts at the men's department. I could only fit into men's size 2x or larger. Whoo Hoo!!!!
Sore from my Workout on Wednesday
I am so sore from my workout on Wednesday that I can hardly move. Well I can move, except for when I first get up. Getting out of a chair or the bed is really hard. But I'm still doing my workouts everyday and loving it!!!
Things are really fun! I love this new lifestyle. Seriously everyday there is something new I learn about myself, or something new I get to experience because I have the energy or the ability to do it. I truly feel like a little kid, I'm trying new things, exploring the world, reaching out to touch things instead of wondering what they feel like.
Not stuck in my body anymore!!! I'm LOVING IT!!!!
How about you.....Are you exploring this world and learning new things?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Today we did another circuit. This is what I did.....
5 minutes on the treadmill
1 minute squats and lifted 12-pound weights above my head
1 minute lunges and lifted 12-pound weights above my head
1 minute lifting - where you are bent at the waist, you let the weights hang toward the floor, then you draw them up to your chest and then you pull them back and extend your arm (out toward your bum)
1 minute curls (12 pounds weights)
1 minute push ups
1 minute plank
THEN WITHOUT STOPPING ~ I got to do it all over again....
The 2nd time she pushed me a little harder...FASTER, MORE REPS ETC....
There were moments when I thought I was going to pass out. She kept yelling at me to breath!! I guess I was holding my breath. Anyway I could not tell you what was going on. I really had to pray for the Lord to help me to get through it!
BUT I DID IT!!!
When she was done with me my face was red as a beet and I was a soaking mess!!! Then she sent me to the bike for cool down.
I ended up seeing a friend and we rode for 40 minutes. Where in the world did I get the energy for that?
Needless to say, I'm whipped right now and ready for bed.
Have you been stretched to your limit lately? Tell me about it!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
If you've watched The Biggest Loser program you know that there are a few of the contestants who have lost a huge amount of weight and gained it all back. I just don't get that. Why would you allow that to happen? The only thing I can think of, is their journey is so quick, they have not had the time to learn the life lessons necessary to keep the weight off. Anyway, I would think if I were in their situation I would take a crash course on how to keep the weight off and maintain my weight for the rest of my life.
Anyway, my purpose of this post is not to talk about The Biggest Losers, but it's to talk about how great I feel....
Hear are some of the reasons why I don't ever want to go back....
- My legs are lookin' good!!! I get to wear shorts and skirts - I just love the way my skirts swish as I walk. Makes me feel all happy!
- My body doesn't keep jiggling after I've stopped moving. It's getting tight!! Got to love that!!
- My arms are firming up, my wings are almost gone and my muscles are starting to flex when I move a little. TeeHee!
- My skin feels great! I glow!
- My knees and feet don't hurt!! I can climb stairs, walk, ride a bike, swim without feeling like I'm having a heart attack!! I have a lot more endurance!!
- I can eat normal portions and feel completely full. Yes!
- I can say no to sweets, cakes, chips, and DONUTS! Miracle!
- I'm finally living life and having a blast! Had the best summer EVER!!!!
- I'm no longer the fattest one wherever I go. Blessing!
- I can shock my trainer with the things I can do. SO MUCH FUN!!!
- I can shop at a regular clothes store!! My pocket book does not really like this....Oh well!
- I can actually run with my grand daughter! She loves that!!!
- I've changed my life so I can leave a different legacy for my family. One of health and fitness! That is probably the best gift, advantage, bonus, you could ever ask for!!
So in case I slip, please remind me of why I don't ever want to go back!!
Since starting your journey, what benefits have you experienced that have changed your life?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
OK am I scared out of my mind. You betcha! Do I feel exposed ~ Yes!...Do I have fear that you will not like me once you know what I look like ~ Yep!...Do I think you will think I'm a dork ~ Yeah! Do you think, I will think, that you will think that I'm chubby ~ Definitely!!! ACK!!!!
Breath Joy, just breath.....
BIIIIGGGG step for me!!!!!
There it's done - no going back!!!
Do you still like me?
OTHER COOL STUFF!!!
Went to the gym tonight and worked out with my trainer. She set me up on this contraption, I really need to find out what it's called - it looks like a torture device to me and sometimes it feels like one, anyway it has adjustable arms and you can do all kinds of weight lifting with it.
So my trainer sets it all up, gets the weights ready so she can show me how to do it. She gives the handle a pull and she could not budge the weights. She tries again and fails and then she puts her whole weight into it and finally she was able to get the weights moving.
After her demonstration, she says, "Get to it", and I say "Yes, Jillian". So I approach the the thing, grab the handles and easily do the exercise. You should have seen her eyes. She just looks at me with her Jillian smile, which cannot be good for me!! (Jillian is the trainer on The Biggest Loser TV Show)
Guess I'm getting strong ~ really strong!!!
I spoke to my trainer about my weight loss. I have only lost 1 pound in the past couple of weeks, but my clothes are getting too big and I'm into size 14-16's, down from 18-20's.
She said at this point of my journey, I will start seeing inches lost, then a week or so later I will see weight loss. I told her this had already happened a couple of weeks ago. She assured me this is normal for me. Said to relax and don't pay as much attention to the scale, but more on how my clothes fit. She said the weight will eventually catch up. (I wish I could remember all of the technical things she told me about how the body works ~ just don't remember) I guess what I get out of what she said is, I need to just keep focused on my plan and everything will work out how it's supposed to. RELAX!!! Whew ~ takes the pressure off!
I think that's all I've got for now. Just wanted to let you know that I feel like I've overcome a huge thing by posting my picture. Can't believe I did it.
What fear have you tackled recently?
Anyway, in my mad dash to get my clothes changed, I heard a conversation with two friends who had not seen each other for a while. One gal was commenting on the weight loss of the other.
Here's how it went....
Gal #1 (Lets call her Sally) says, "You look great how much weight have you lost?
Gal #2 (Lets call her Millie) says, "I've been at it for a while, I've lost 35 pounds."
Sally says, "That awesome! How did you do it?"
Millie says, "I've just been watching what I eat. I'm not really dieting, just eating good healthy food and counting my calories."
Sally says, "That's it, that's all you've been doing?"
Millie says, "Well that and I've been exercising too. I do a lot of things in the gym and I come to water aerobics several times each week."
Then Sally says, "I used to come to this class, but I stopped a couple of months ago. You see my daughter...and I'm looking for a job... and my mom...and of course you know...blah blah blah...."
As soon as Sally said that she had been to the class before. I looked up and for the first time I really looked at her. I recognized her from a class we attended together last May. At that time we chatted, just getting to know each other and she told me her story.
She had just moved to the area, had a daughter and they were on their own. She had not found a job yet and had been looking for quite some time. Money was tight, but they were hanging on. She told me that she had a lot of spare time on her hands during the day when her daughter was at school and said she wanted to do something to lose weight. She had a lot of weight to lose!!
Sally asked me how I was losing weight and I told her that I'm, "Watching what I eat. I'm not really dieting, just eating good healthy food, counting my calories, drinking water and exercising." (Sounds just like what her friend shared with her last night.)
She said that sounded great, so we talked a little more about some of the other things I'm doing ~ journeling food, working with the nutritionist and the personal trainer etc.
When we started to leave, she said that she was excited to get on with her journey, thanked me for the tips and said, "I'll see you next week."
Sadly I did not see her the next week or the weeks after. I was really disappointed and nervous that maybe, in my enthusiasm, I had pushed her too hard, gave too much information and/or scared her away. Maybe she did not want to be told what to do, or maybe she did not want to be accountable to anyone or have anyone watching what's she's doing. I don't know. All I can say is, I spent some time after this encounter to really beat myself up, because I felt like she quit because of me. I don't ever want to be the one to hinder someone's weight loss goals - Geez like I have that much influence - Get over yourself Joy!!
She had her reasons for not showing up ~ I can't take responsibility for that!! I get that now!
Anyway....fast forward to last night. Sadly Sally looked heavier than she did in May. As I was watching her I could see anxiety in her face. As she was talking to her friend, she sounded excited but looked very disappointed. She may have been thinking that she could have been where her friend was, if she had not stopped her journey. She missed her opportunity to reach her goals!
How many times have you been in Sally's shoes. You stopped your journey, gained the weight back and then some? You quit and missed your opportunity to succeed!!
Why are some of us unwilling or unable to continue on the journey to success?
I don't ever want to be that women! I don't ever want to miss my opportunity to get healthy and lose this weight!
I don't want to, ever again, stand before a friend that I had not seen for a while and give excuses as to why I could not make it to my goal.
I don't ever want to start over again, weighing more than ever!
I don't ever want to praise someone for making their goal, while I'm dying on the inside because I gave up instead of, doing the work and reaching for success!!
I am making this happen. I'm not going to miss this opportunity. How about you?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
It was an awesome event! There were just 10 of us in our own suite, field level, located right by the home plate. We were so close to the players we could talk to them. Pretty cool.
Oh did I mention it was almost 100 degrees? Fortunately our suite was 1/2 covered and had a ceiling fan which helped a lot!
Food was catered and there was plenty of it. We were supposed to have 18 people, but ended up with only 10, so there was a lot of food ~ Hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, chips, peanuts, popcorn, cookies, water, soda and beer.
It was so interesting watching this group of people decide what to eat. You see they are all "Skinny Mini's".
I thought ahead and was prepared before I went to the game. I had oatmeal in the morning, 24 oz of water, a breakfast bar and yogurt prior to leaving for the game. When I got to the game, I was just starting to get hungry.
When we got there the food was not out yet, they just had the popcorn, peanuts, chips and dip out. So I watched as this group made their way to the food. First things first, was the beer!!! Most everyone had one. Then they pretty much devoured the chips and dip. I was curious as to why they did not hit the popcorn and tasted a couple. And then I found out - TOO SALTY!! OK it's almost 100 degrees, I guess a "Skinny Mini" does not choose that kind of salty thing when it's too hot. In my unhealthy days I would have gone for it. I love popcorn!!
We had the choice to wait until the game started before the food would be served. And the "Skinny's" decided they wanted the food right away! In my old days I would have preferred to eat up all the crap first and then have lunch. Nope, they wanted their food ~ NOW!
Once the food was out it was interesting to see what they chose to eat. We had 8 burgers, 8 hot dogs and 8 chicken breasts. You guessed it, they chose the chicken. I had already decided that's was what I was going to have. But before I prepared mine, I was checking out my friends plate to see what she did. She's a "Skinny". She had a chicken patty with lettuce and tomato only - no bun, oh I forgot we also had potato salad, and she had a small scoop of salad.
So I decided that's what I was going to do. Except I had to have a little bread, so I took the bottom half of a bun, then had the chicken with lots of lettuce and tomato's. I too chose a small dollop of salad, a couple of chips and water.
Because of the heat, I figured everyone would scarf down the beer and soda. Nope, we spent more money on water then any other beverage. I guess "Skinny's" know how to take care of their bodies in extreme heat. In my old days I would have opted for soda, NOT - I probably would have had the beer!
Finally at the 7th inning, they brought in a "HUGE" plate of cookies. The server said their were 3 cookies for each person. To my surprise each person only took 1 cookie.
When it was all over, we left a huge amount of popcorn, peanuts, cookies, almost all of the hamburgers, some hot dogs and most of the cookies uneaten.
If ever there were ever a time to over eat, this would be it, but the "Skinny's" just did not do it. That amazes me!
After the game was over, everybody headed for the elevators. Our group decided that we were not going to wait and headed for the stairs. My first thought was of shear dread and horror!! A number of years ago, when I was really unhealthy, I went to San Francisco with some of the same people from our group. We decided not to rent cars, so we did a lot of walking. One night we went to a ball game (I guess we like baseball) and after the game we were trying to find our way back to the hotel, on foot. Of course we got lost. We walked and walked and finally I had to ask them to call me a cab. I could not make it. We probably only walked a couple of miles, but I was so fatigued and sore I could not take another step - so embarrassing!!!
Anyway, I simply faced the stairs like they were nothing. Of course this group did not just merely walk the stairs, it was a race to the top. Well I joined in like it was not problem at all. And you no what? It was no problem. I made it up 5 flights without even breathing hard!!!
After we got to the top, my friend said, "Well look at you!!!". And I said, "Yeah, LOOK AT ME!!!! Wow it felt great!!
So I made it through a big event. Made some good pre-event choices. Selected the best food that was available and limited everything. I was totally satisfied and did not feel deprived one second.
This morning, I thought I would have a gain, since some of the things I ate yesterday tasted really salty to me. Nope, I was down a pound. Praise God!!!
How do you handle events like this?
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
- I went to the mailbox this morning and found a letter from my friend....Why do people send stuff that says, "This is not a chain letter", but the assignment requires that I make copies of the letter and send it to my friends. Sounds like a chain letter to me.
- How come I keep moving my sprinkler around and I keep missing the same spot?
- I have two dogs ~ Bentley and Beemer. Why does Beemer lick the inside of Bentley's ear and Bentley licks the outside of Beemer's ears making them slimy and disgusting. It's so gross!
Weight Loss Stuff...
- Why am I writing all of this stuff eating sugary cereal? It's within my calorie allotment, but I could have made a better choice!
- Went to dinner with friends the other day and they did not mention anything about my weight loss. I've lost 45 pounds! People I see everyday notice and say things to me, but these people did not say a word!!! She talked about her weight loss....so I know the subject was not off limits. Made me question if I'm really doing this thing. Why do I let the actions of one person tell me something about myself, when there are MANY others who have encouraged me and told me they see a difference?
- How come my weight on the scale has not changed much. BUT I'VE DROPPED A SIZE IN CLOTHES!!!! I AM NOW IN SIZE 14-16!!!!!!!!!!!Whoo Hoo, I just moved to size 18-20 recently and they are getting too big. I went to Lane Bryant and saw this great leather jacket (Picture above). Of course they did not have an 18-20, but they did have a 14-16, so I decided to try it on. It fit and I could zip it. It's a "little" snug, but it won't be long before it fits perfectly. I'm weird, but I always think this store is playing mind games with me and that I'm not really in a size 14-16. So I went to the Nordstrom Rack and YEP....I'm in a 14-16!!!! Can't believe it!!! Just don't get how inches do not show up on the scale. It is perplexing!!!
Anyway, I am very encouraged and feel so much better than I did the other day. Thank you to all who took the time to encourage me. I am truly grateful!!!
What do you find perplexing in your journey?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
It was really rough writing what I wrote yesterday....About feeling a little blue...
Here's some reasons why...
1.) I got myself in a pinch again! My whole life I've wanted a mentor. Someone who I could complain to, cry with and share successes. And every time I find one, I end up being their mentor. Somewhere deep inside of me I want to help, fix them, focus on their stuff. Once I get in that position in the relationship, the focus shifts and then it really all about them and not about me. Leaving me again, without the support and guidance I need.
When I started my blog, I VOWED TO MYSELF, that I would be honest with what is really going on. For a while, I was doing it....Then, without me even realizing it....I shifted back to my helpful, joyful, cheery, encouraging self. Looking for ways to help everybody else!
I can look back on what I've written and I can see, in a small way, I was telling the truth of where I was. But always, always leaving some sort of encouraging way out of my trouble. For the most part, I was real and did the things I said I would do.
But there has been this growing monster in me, that I was not sharing, the real truth of what I have been feeling.
I now realize that I did not want to disappoint you....I did not want you to see me as a weak person. I always want to be the encourager. Offer some "Nugget of Truth" that will help you get to your next level. I thought if I shared my pain, that you would not see me as the encourager anymore.
Is that stupid or what?
Here's a Nugget for you...Be as honest as you can be here. This is a safe place. People on this blog really do care. I have some awesome friends here and they share from their heart and they give the best love, encouragement and sometimes a kick in the butt (Chris). But I appreciate every one of you. YOU Bless me in so many ways. I am so thankful you share a part of my life, that really nobody else gets to do. You are my friends and I love you!
Nuff of that....
2.) The picture thing bugged me more than I thought. I have regrets and it hurts to realize that I wrecked some things in my kids life. Not just about the pictures, but I was the fat mom, the mom who was too tired, the stressed mom, the mom who made excuses. I can't make that better!!! I can't! I can't give them back the childhood they deserved. It's too late!
Nugget of Truth...Moms and Dads, right now, make a decision to get your health in order. You think you have all the time in the world to get this done. But I'm telling you....The time you have with your kids is a blink. It goes by so fast, your head spins. I cannot believe that I have 3 grown kids, all out of the house. It seems like yesterday, they were born. Now I have grand babies. I can guarantee you that I'm not going to waste anymore time with my kids and grand kids. I am going to be the mom and grandma (Baboo as my grand daughter calls me) they can be proud of. I'm not wasting any more time!! Please I beg you. Don't do what I did. Get you health and life in order. Get it done NOW!!
3.) The wedding is looming....Only a couple of weeks to go and I'm just short of my goal of losing 60 pounds. I really, really wanted that to happen. Well I guess I really didn't because I did not make it happen. It's disappointing to me.
Other people have shared their pain with this type of thing, missing their goals, and I have to say that I did not get it. I'm like, "look what you have already done!! Don't discount that"....Well I'm sorry...I did not realize what it felt like to be here. For those that I said that to, please forgive me. I get it now.
It's not that I don't appreciate where I am now, its that I am DISAPPOINTED that I could not make the right decisions, so I could be where I WANTED to be. It's really that simple. I did it. I made the decisions I made and they were not good for me. I look back and can think of the things I ate, the workouts that were marginal, the times I did not work out and the laziness of my focus and I can see that there were PLENTY of opportunities where I could have made better decisions that would have helped me get to my goal.
THERE'S ANOTHER NUGGET FOR YOU!!!! Something I can give you.....Knowledge...That is. if you really want something, you have take the opportunity, tools and knowledge and make it happen!! YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR FOCUS AND DO IT!!!!!!!!!
4.) Another thing that contributed to my distress, was I tried to run again on Thursday. Started out OK. I did my 5 minute warmup (walking), then I did 30 seconds of running, 1 minute of walking etc...Then after my 5th minute of running, my right hip started to hurt. Now I don't have any injuries here. This is something new...So I thought I would just slow down and see what happens. The pain subsided and I tried to run one more time. Then the pain in my hip started back up and then my left knee started to hurt. AUGH!!!!
FINAL NUGGET!!! Be diligent with your body. Get the weight off, get to the gym, work your muscles, WORK YOUR PLAN...DO IT NOW....While you still can. I can guarantee you, that if I would have waited one more year, I probably would have done enough damage to my knees, feet and hips, that I would be facing some surgery by now. (They have wanted to do surgery on my feet, but because I've lost 45 pounds, it's taken pressure off of them and they are, for the most part, healed - no pain!!!)
Everything you do to get healthy is a benefit. There are no draw backs. NOT ONE! I get that going back to my old habits means death for me. I am opting for LIFE!! And I'm not wasting one more minute of the gift of health that I've received. I am making it to my goal!!
Much love to everyone who commented yesterday. Your words of love, wisdom and butt kicking made a huge difference in my life. You are gems!!
Are you encouraged today?
Love and Hugs!
Friday, August 13, 2010
This journey has really been a lot of fun. I know, FUN? But for me, I've really enjoyed it so far. I have been at it since January and have had some success!! Definitely stronger, lighter (lost 45 pounds so far), and more agile. Got to love that.
However today I'm am feeling the pressure of it all crashing on my shoulders. I still have 95+ pounds to go. Will I ever make it? Can I continue on this path of activity? I'm tired...really tired.
Will I ever stop fooling around with this thing and get serious and make it happen? Will I ever stop sabotaging myself with goodies? Will my body help me get fit and stop having injuries? Will I make it?
This is what I want to go back to...
I want to eat a bunch of chocolate, like I used to do. I really want to!
I don't want to exercise. I don't want to go to the gym. I want to stay home. My home, I have not been here very much. I just don't want to go anywhere.
I don't want to make healthy food, can't I just go and get something?
Alarm Bells are ringing in my head....Danger....Danger....(Is anyone thinking of Will Robinson about now - If not...you're too young....Google it and you will know what I'm talking about) OK I still have a little tiny bit of humor left in me.
What is this about? It's been 7+ months, am I getting tired of this routine? Am I getting ready to turn back to the old me? Is this normal? Am I in trouble?
What should I do?
OK maybe I'm more than a little blue....
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
First of all my hubby and I had to go on an expedition to even find the picture box. And of course, we found it, it was the last one on the bottom of the pile. I have to tell you, I'm glad I got me some muscles, because those boxes were heavy!
Anyway, we poured through the pictures and after some time, I began to wonder why in the world did we think it necessary to buy film, then take a zillion pictures of trees, rocks, flowers, unknown people and lots of blurry things, and then go to the store to develop the film ~ which was really expensive. Why did we do that?
Anyway, on with my story....So we are trying to find cute pictures of our son and his sibs and of course we run across a "few" pictures of me. My God...I have been fat my whole life!!!
Do you know, that until last night, I never thought I was "really" that fat. Well geez, I know the scale says I am, but I have always thought that I was just big boned and that's why I weighed so much.
I honestly could not see the double chins...well...and I never had a full length mirror, so I did not really know what was going on below my waist. I thought everything from my waist up looked pretty good. Well except if I turned sideways, then I did not look so great, so I took care of that and I just never looked at the side view of myself. Denial is an amazing thing.....
Well these pictures told the story....I was fat...really fat....disgustingly fat!!! My face looked like a round ball with hair on it. And horrible hair at that!!! You know the Farrah Fawcett look? Well I had it and then some. Holy SMOKES why didn't someone tell me I looked so bad!!!
Well the saddest thing is I realized that I had more pictures of trees, rocks and other stuff and did not have many pictures of people. I guess I thought if I did not like my picture taken, then nobody should have their picture taken.
I hated candid pictures. I felt too out of control when someone would snap my picture on my fat side...which was every side...so that really meant - off limits in the picture taking department.
Unfortunately I have a few pictures of me, only a limited amount of pictures of my kids and hardly any pictures of hubby and me. How sad is that? We really did a lot of fun things and I don't have pictures to remember them by.
Now I know why I get so depressed when I look at the pictures. I used to think it was because I was missing my kids being small. I don't think that why. No it was because I could not are stand seeing myself in such bad shape.
I came across the worst picture of all and showed it to my hubby. I said, "Look at this...Did I ever look sexy". And his reply was "NO"!!!
I sat with that for quite a while.....I thought, we've been together for over 25 years and you've never thought I was sexy? I stewed on this for a while and stewed on it. Started to get mad and then I asked him again. I said, "So you're telling me that in over 23 years of marriage, you've never thought I looked sexy?" He said, "No I thought you asked me if I thought the picture was sexy." Which we both agreed it was not. Fight diverted or maybe he's just a really smart guy....I don't know. I just really hope he was telling the truth....
Then I thought, how sad would it be, if he really did not think that I was "ever" sexy because of my weight. How sad is that?
Do you like pictures?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
OK I'm doing a challenge this month and I totally forgot what I said I would do. I had to go back to my 8/1/10 post to figure out what all this challenge fuss is about....Geez if I only had a brain....And to think, I'm some kids' Mom!!!
OK here we go, this is what I need to get done during the month of August....
I need to lose 18 pounds by September 5th for our oldest sons wedding. I have been trying to achieve this goal since January 2010. (For a total weight loss of 60 pounds) Time is running out. I guess if I should not be focusing on the weight loss number, then I will just have to focus on my plan. And just do it ~ EVERYDAY......MAKE THIS THING HAPPEN!
Well, I am focusing on my plan. So far I've lost 2 pounds in 10 days....
On to more exciting news!
My trainer is helping me to learn how to run!!
Sounds so funny to say that, but I kind of forgot how to do it without hurting myself. In the past, if I wanted to run, I would just go out and start running....no warm up, no stretching, no plan. I would just get out there and go...oh for about 30 seconds and then I would be dead in my tracks ~ lungs, legs, shins and feet burning!!! I just did not know enough and was not in shape enough to do it without injuring myself. After an experience like that I would not get back to it. It's been years...I can't even remember the last time I tried.
So we are baby stepping into it. Today she had me stretch and then warm up for 5 minutes...then run for 30 seconds...then walk for 1 minute and as it goes. I was on the treadmill for 40 minutes, walked 29 minutes and ran 11 minutes using up 200 calories!
I have never ran for 11 minutes! Not ever ~ in my entire life! Granted the minutes were broken up, but I still ran them!!!
It was so much fun! I really wanted to go longer, well I did go 1 minute longer than she wanted...I was having too much fun and I just could not help myself!!
She told me that I could only do this 2 days this week, so my next shot at running will be on Thursday. Next week she will add more time.
The best thing about doing it this way, I did not experience any knee, feet or shin pain. No muscle aches at all. It was really enjoyable and fun!!!!
I think I just sprinted past a huge belief barrier. I never thought I could do what I did today. Amazing!!!
Have you achieved something you never thought you could do? Tell us about it!
Monday, August 9, 2010
But before I get to that. I want to tell you that I'm back on track!! Got my food, water and exercise under control today. Which is so awesome. I really feel a lot better when I'm doing my plan. I actually had a ton of energy today!!!
Now for my good news.
As you know I was gone over the weekend for my nieces wedding. I realize today, that I can't blame anyone, except myself, for not being prepared ~ food wise. I have to get it in my head that this is my responsibility. Anyway I did not plan well, ate out too many times, felt like I made bad choices and over ate. AND I HAD A HUGE PIECE OF WEDDING CAKE, NUTS, MINTS AND PUNCH!!!
It never ceases to amaze me that when I'm away from home, I forget that I'm working on a healthy lifestyle. Get me 10 miles from home and I lose my mind!!! Geez!!
Anyway last night I was disgusted with myself and really beat myself up all over the place.
Yeah, I did not have my regular healthy food, but I could have made better decisions on what I did eat.
Nuff said about all that.
Here's the good part.
On Friday, before I left I weighed in at 229.0.
This morning, dreading every minute, I jumped on the scale and it said.....
Only .6 gained?
Really this is the best Monday morning weigh in I've had since January. I always weigh in at least a pound heavier than I did on Friday. I almost never have a loss on Mondays, I'm always up and then during the week sometime I lose some pounds.
I am soooo excited!!!!
I guess I really am getting this. I did do a better job than I thought. Even all of my running around must have counted for some exercise. Who knew?
I am thrilled!!!
This weekend really gives me hope that when I do get this weight off. I can still live life. I can make mistakes and I don't get rewarded with a 20 pound weight gain. I may have a little penalty for bad behavior, but it does not end my program or my maintenance. I just get right back to it and keep going.
Whoo Hoo for me!!!
I think this is progress ~ What do you think?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
OK now for getting real and the reality of where I am today......
I did not fare well with my food selections and how much food I ate.....You would think by now that I would be able to handle myself a little better around food.
Friday night, I chose well, but ate way too much!!
Saturday I had a small breakfast, but could not resist the fancy mocha, milky way, blended, fabulous coffee drink I was given. I ate a small lunch but ended up eating the biggest piece of wedding cake on the table. I swear I lost my mind...I did not even think about what I was doing. Then I added mints, nuts and punch to finish out the festivities! Then it was salad for dinner.
Today it was lasagna, salad and lots bread with some sort of berry cobbler that was to die for. Oh and of course some more party favors ~ Hershey kisses.
Looking back I did make "some" good choices, when I was able to choose. A lot of what I ate was out of my hands. But where I'm disappointed is, I may not have had a choice of what was served to me, but I did have a choice about how much of it I put in my mouth.
Unfortunately I failed in the area of minimizing my calorie intake, getting enough rest and sleep. I did not drink very much water and did not get any exercise in. I failed in all areas of my weight loss and fitness plan!!! I failed, I failed, I failed. F++++
So tonight, after the dinner of lasagna and cobbler, we were looking at the slide show pictures of the wedding. I was just sure this time, I would be looking smokin' hot in my little black dress. When I was at my heaviest, I was too fat to wear it and the last time I wore it, prior to losing 45 pounds, I looked like a sausage. It was so tight I could hardly breath. Now it is quite loose, but still looks good. Well so I thought. I saw some pictures of me and I still look like the fat girl I've been for a long time. I could not see any changes.
Here all this time, I've been thinking that I look fairly thin with big boobs and just a poochy tummy. NOPE. I'm fat.....still fat.....I'm a fatty......AUGH!!!!
Before I left for home, I took a moment to talk to my mom. Told her I was so disappointed that I still look so bad. So said, "Oh babe, I have pictures of you where you were a lot heavier ~ You look great now".
Well if I look great now, I must have looked like a flippin' bus back then, because as far as I'm concerned I'm still about as big as a mini van!!!!
So what do I do now?
Do I just give up, because I failed? Keep failing....I'm a failure???
Do I give up because it's just too hard??
Here's what I'm planning to do....
I going to get right back on my plan and I'm going to keep going!!!
I'm going to journal my food, keep my calories at 1500 per day or less, I'm going to exercise, I'm going to drink water and I'm going to keep accountable to you...
I'm going to keep plugging along. Do what I know to do every day and I'm not going to EVER, EVER, EVER, give up.
Isn't that what I've said to many of you? Well that's what I'm going to do.
What's the other thing I keep saying? "It's not a race.....It's a lifestyle!"
I believe it!!
Here's to restarting, new focus and success!!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
There is absolutely not enough time in the day to do what I want and need to do....Prior to my new healthy lifestyle, I was very sedentary. The only thing I could do, and was really good at, was watching TV and playing video games. Now that I'm feeling so much better and have a ton of energy, the whole world has opened up to me and I want to do EVERYTHING....And the reality is, it's not possible. I really need to accept that. Because I am literally running myself ragged ~ having fun, experiencing new things, spending a ton of time in the gym and exercising, boating, dancing etc. Oh and I work full time, spend a ton of time with my precious hubby, kids and grand kids. Please know, I'm not complaining, I just have to face the facts, slow down, a bit, and take care of myself.
If you don't take care of your daily needs by getting enough rest, eating good and healthy foods, drinking water and exercising, you cannot succeed in this weight loss and fitness journey. I know, because I'm struggling to keep it together. I'm too tired or too stressed to make good food choices. So what happens? I opt for processed or quick foods or because I'm too tired, I want to consume sugar for an energy boost. Bad, bad thing for me!
When you are too tired or too stressed, you don't even know that you are not following your weight loss and fitness plan. You think you are, but not to your full capacity. Example....I'm going to the gym, working out at home, riding my bike etc. But I'm going through the motions. There are times that I don't even break a sweat. That's not working to the best of my ability.
When you are too tired or too stressed, you don't even know that you are not eating properly. I journal everything, but I still did not realize, until yesterday, that I've had waaaaay too many days in the past weeks where I've made poor choices. In my journal I see cake, cupcakes, candy, homemade hamburgers, potato salad etc. These are not the foods a serious healthy person would choose. Just too much junk!
It's time to get real, look at reality and quit fooling around.
There I said it!!!
I've been at this since January 2010 and I've lost 45 pounds. That's good, but it could be better.
I am so disappointed with myself, because I would be a lot further along if I would have come clean a long time ago and gotten myself on a true healthy plan and stayed on it!
I was reading someones blog the other day and the person mentioned that they've lost 80 pounds in 8 months. That could be me! I started this journey 8 months ago too and I've only lost 45 pounds. I don't mean "only" in a bad way, because I'm grateful to be here, believe me. It's just disappointing that I stalled my progress, because I don't want to get busy and do what I need to do.
Here are some of things where I fudge with calories.
Coffee with cream. I have about 2 to 3 cups per day. I just realized today that each cup of coffee has 70 calories of cream in it. That 210 calories that I don't even count in my daily allowance. So when my journal says that I had 1500 calories for the day, it should really say 1710 calories. Yikes!!!
OK, confession continues.....not only do I fudge with that...I don't count calories if I taste something, have juice (which is not too often), or I eat things and forget to count the calories etc. This behavior does not help me get to my goals!!!
The only thing that has saved me is I do tend to count high on my calories, so I have a little fudge room, which is good, I guess!
Anyway, I'm ready to go to the next level. It just seems crazy to me, to just go through the motions of this thing and not really put the effort in that it deserves. You get what you put into this deal! In my case, I've achieved a 45 pound weight loss instead of 80......Hummm!!
ALL BECAUSE I'M FOOLING AROUND!!!
I'm ready for a 10 pound weight loss this month! I know this is not a race, this is a lifestyle, but I NEED to do a better job with this and get better results. I know in my heart, that I will appreciate the journey so much more if I give it a true effort on my part. I CAN DO THIS!!!
Have you checked your reality lately. Do it...you might be surprised!!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
This morning I found that I lost all of the weekend weight ~ I was up 5 pounds. I have just two more pounds and I will hit my new low weight of 228! That's just 3 pounds away from my lowest Oregon weight of 225!! No one here has seen me this skinny!! I think I've said this about 4 times. I keep nudging toward this new low number and then I go backwards a couple of pounds....Very frustrating!
I would really love to lose 15 pounds by September 5th ~ Possible?
Here's some advise for the day.
Don't get yourself too tired, too hungry or too stressed....Make sure to take care of your daily needs, don't neglect yourself when it comes to what your body needs to get this weight off. Work hard every day to stay focused on your plan and your goals. Right now you don't need to reward yourself with anything ~ especially food or sweets.....just focus!!! Look at this journey as an assignment and get it done!! DON'T WAIVER!!! DON'T LOOK BACK, DON'T LOOK FORWARD, STAY IN THE MOMENT....DO EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE and DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER GIVE UP ~ You got that Joy!
Did you need a little pep talk today ~ I sure did!!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Day 1 of the challenge stunk to high heaven!!! Had a terrible food day, did not get in my water, barely journeled my food and did not exercise. Oh and I had 2 brownies!
Day 2 I did a much better job! Did 40 minutes on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the bike, and did weights with my trainer. Calories are within range and I got all my water in. So good to be back on track!!!
Correction!!! Last week my trainer measured me and I thought I had lost almost 6 inches....well I actually lost 5 inches. Geez my mind wants to have more! I have lost a total of 15.75 inches since 3/8/10. Is that good?
I get tickled over the weirdest things. The other day I was ironing my shorts. Well I had to, they were a wrinkled mess!!! Anyway, I could not get over how little they looked on the ironing board. They were so light and there was hardly anything to them (they are size 18's), unlike my old size 24 shorts. They looked so big, I used to think that if we had an emergency, I could stake them up and use them as a tent. They were huge!! Can't wait for size 16's!!!!
When we were camping there was a young boy there who looked miserable! He was about 75 pounds over weight and really out of shape. It was in the upper 80's and very dry. So it's super hot and he's so lethargic that he can't even move. He spent his entire weekend, either in the car with air conditioning on or under a tree, sweating profusely because he would not take off his shirt or get into the water. There were kids everywhere having a blast in the cool water and here he sat.....all alone, all day long, fat, hot and stuck ~ all because he's over weight and out of shape! So sad!!!
When we were at the lake, I saw so many people smoking. Families with young kids running around and smoke was everywhere....To me smoking is....
Unhealthy ~ Causes Heart Attacks and Strokes
Pregnancy Risks - Low birth rate
~ WHY DO IT?
Well I think that's enough for the day. I'm on a roll! Geez.....
Sunday, August 1, 2010