Do you know how IMPORTANT YOU ARE?

I have been struggling for a long while! Just so disappointed with the slow progress, injuries and just not feeling well. I was scheduled to see my trainer tonight, and I was kind of getting excited and hopeful that I would have some success today. About 3:00pm I received a phone call from her, telling me that she needed to reschedule our workout. Of course I "joyful" told her that it was not a problem and scheduled our time together for this Wednesday.

Needless to say, I was very disappointed. I did not exercise this morning because I thought I would get a good workout with her tonight. After her call, I was just deflated and did not want to do anything at all. I kind of thought about the cardio dance class at the gym, but decided because of my slow healing knee that I should not be doing that kind of exercise just yet.

So on the way home, I was praying and earnestly asking the Lord for a sign, a word or a lightening bolt (if necessary) to get me refocused back to where I needed to be. I was really hoping I would see some huge person at the store that would jolt me back to my reality, that I have a lot of work to do and I don't have time to waste. But thankfully I only saw normal people walking around. (Can you imagine that I wanted to see someone fatter than me to make ME feel better). Lord you have a lot of work to do in me!!!

So I got home, very unmotivated and decided that I would spend the evening reading. But before I got locked into my book, I decided to check my blog to see what was going on. Thankfully I had 1 comment. So I opened it up, holding my breath, as I always do when reading people's comments. (I am secretly waiting for someone to tell me that I'm stupid - can you believe that?) Geez!!!

Anyway I had a comment from Lindsey, she said, "Way to choose to keep on fighting!!! Proud of you:)" I tell you that was what I was praying for. Her act of kindness to write a comment to me, made the difference. After reading her message, I got into my exercise clothes and got on the treadmill. I actually walked 2 miles at a steady pace - even with a sore knee and then I did some other floor exercises. BOY DO I FEEL GREAT!!!

I just want to encourage you all and remind you that what we do here, writing our stories and encouraging each other, is so powerful!! What we do here changes lives and touches lives more than we know. Please don't stop doing what you do. Because you are important and you do make a difference!!!

During my walk, I felt the Lord give me these words. Not sure yet what they mean:

"Your simple act of obedience will help you outgrow your expectations for yourself"

Do you know how important you are? I hope you do!!

Hugs!

In my Weakness

At my Bible study last week, one of the ladies asked for prayer, she was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She asked us to pray that she would be weak.

All week long I have been trying to understand what she wanted in that prayer. Why would she want us to pray that she would be weak? It is opposite of what I would have asked for and that would be strength. I would imagine you would need strength to survive breast cancer.

What she said was, she knows that she is a strong woman, but she wants to be weak so she can rely on the Lords strength. She wants Him to work mightily in her through this situation. She does not want to go through it in her own strength.

OK that makes sense to me, but being a strong woman myself, I still did not think I could be willing to be weak or have anyone see me be weak.

To be honest, I am weak!

Since January, I have been fighting physically to get this weight off. I have pushed myself harder than I've ever pushed. I have worked through 2 injuries, physical therapy, doctors visits after doctors visits, chronic ear pain, drug reactions, knee and feet pain, wounds not healing and it goes on and on. I just feel like I can't push through anymore. I am tired of feeling pain.

I am at a crossroad in my life and I have some choices to make. If I stop walking and lifting weights, the immediate pain will stop in my knees, calves, feet and in my growing muscles. Maybe if I stop swimming and get out of the pool, my ears will heal and stop hurting. Maybe if I stop trying so hard I would stop hurting and feel better.

I do not want to be weak, but I think that is exactly where I need to be. I know that I cannot do this journey on my own, that I need the Lord and His strength to help me make it through this journey to the end.

I have decided that I will take the right path. I will not stop or give up, I will choose to keep on fighting ~ But not in my strength, in His.

'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. Zechariah 4:6

Are you willing to be weak, so you can be strong?

Hugs?

Dare to Dream

Today I was feeling a little down. I got the sniffles, a sore throat and my ears are plugged - can hardly hear. Boo Hoo for me!! Anyway I let this tiny cold be an excuse to avoid the gym (weights and cardio). Let me tell you this was a poor excuse!! So I'm sitting here wondering what I'm going to write. Wondering what could I say that would inspire you to not make excuses and derail your plans. Then I remembered what inspires me to continue on my journey.

I am a rower girl wanna be. This is my dream, this is what I want to do....


I want to be on a row team and eventually compete in the World Olympics. Oh and of course I also want to look as good as these gals do. My dream and passion for rowing is one of the reasons why I need to get fit and healthy! This is what keeps me going, keeps me focused and excited about getting this weight off.

I came across the following statement that really speaks to me, I hope it speaks to you as well. (Author unknown)

Dare to dream: Have the desire to do something bigger than yourself.

Prepare the dream: Do your homework; be ready when the opportunity comes.

Wear the dream: Do it!!

Share the Dream: Make others a part of the dream, and it will become even greater than you had hoped.

Anyway this is my dream, this is what I'm working for.

What is your dream? Think about it!

Hugs!!

Cranky for Chocolate

Yesterday was very stressful and all I wanted all day was chocolate. I resisted, but felt on the edge of giving in all day long. In the middle of my stress, I was asked to take an item to the mail store for delivery. I went to a store where I thought they would package the item up for me, but according to the disinterested clerk, I was wrong. I had to get a box and the stuffing and do it myself. So I shopped around and found my box and the stuffing and paid for it. When I went back to the shipping section I asked the clerk if I could have some tape and she told me that I would have to pay for it, $1 per strip. Well I needed about 3 or 4 strips and I was not about to pay that kind of money for so little tape, so I decided to buy a roll. As I went to get the tape, I snapped at the clerk and said, "It would have been helpful to know that I had to buy the tape at the same time I had to buy the box & the stuffing. You're not very helpful". All this anger, where did it come from? It was all because I was stressed out and frustrated because I could not soothe myself with chocolate.

After I got the box together I was feeling bad about my reaction to the clerk. It was not her fault that I was cranky for chocolate. So when I got back to the counter, I tried to put a smile on my face and be polite. Well the clerk was not buying it and she was a little short with me.

Just a half hour earlier, my friend and I were talking about how you are "known by your last act". As I walked out of the store I realized that this clerk probably thought I was a witch and to her I would be known as a witch!! My behavior told her so.

When I left the store, I soon felt a prompting from the Lord that I needed to do something to rectify the situation. I had quite the conversation with Him explaining and justifying my behavior. "She was rude first", "I will probably never see her again", "Nobody I know saw me act that way" etc. As I got to my car, I felt an extreme prompting to go back to the nearby bookstore and buy the clerk something. Of course, the debate went on with the Lord as I explained that I only had a $20 allowance for the month and I could not "afford" to spend money on someone I did not know. Besides she was cranky too. I got to my car and almost drove away.

Before I could take off, I felt myself agreeing to go to the bookstore to "look" for something to give her. Even before I got to the door, I told the Lord, "If there is a line, I'm not doing this". Well of course, when I got into the store there was a line. So I begrudgingly got into the line with my purchase, a chocolate bar, for my abused package clerk!

Once I got outside of the bookstore, I really debated on whether I could actually make it to the packaging store without eating the chocolate bar myself. But I did not eat it! I not only got into the store, but I found the clerk. Secretly I was hoping she would not be there. She saw me coming and I knew what she was thinking ~ Oh know! It's her again! I went right up to her and said, "Here is a little gift for you, please forgive me for being so rude."

Well you should have seen the look on her face. She brightened right up and got the biggest smile on her face. She kind of got embarrassed and I said, "Sometimes I just don't know what gets into me." Well I kind of know why I did it, but I could not tell her that I was Cranky for Chocolate.

We are all known by our last act. What impression have you left behind?

Hugs?

Something New Happened

I am so excited!! For the first time in 20 years, I was able to cross my legs. I don't really get how, because I am still pretty heavy, but I did it. Maybe it's the working out - I don't know and I don't really care. I was just thrilled that I could do it.

It was so weird, I was sitting in the living room and I was feeling really comfortable. I looked down and my legs were crossed and I did not even know I had done it. It was so natural. I was so excited I went around to different chairs to see if I could do it again and I could. It is great to be able to sit like a proper lady, instead of always trying to hold my legs together, which is not very comfortable. Or I would sit on one leg and that's not comfortable at all and probably not good for your leg circulation.

I love discovering new things that I can do. Each day I find out a little bit more. Helps keep me motivated to keep going!!

How long has it been since you've been able to cross your legs? Try it!!

Hugs!

Matter of Numbers?

I am not a Rocket Scientist, but I think I've figured something out about this weight loss thing. It just might be a matter of numbers!

This past 6 weeks I have tracked my calorie intake and exercise daily. When I started out I weighed 250.0, now I weigh 240.0. Breakdown below:

Week 1 Weight 250.0 / had an average of 1731 calories per day / Exercised 6 days
Week 2 Weight 246.8 / had an average of 1658 calories per day / Exercised 6 days
Week 3 Weight 245.0 / had an average of 1738 calories per day / Exercised 4 days
Week 4 Weight 245.6 / had an average of 1690 calories per day / Exercised 5 days
Week 5 Weight 244.2 / had an average of 1127 calories per day / Exercised 4 days** Fasting 2 days for medical tests
Week 6 Weight 240.0 / had an average of 1704 calories per day / Exercised 4 days

When I first started my food journal, I only tracked the food I ate, not calories. I got OK results and was able to lose 24 pounds, but it took me months to accomplish this amount of weight loss. I would lose a pound, gain a pound, up 3 pounds, down 2 etc. It was not steady progress.

With tracking calories, I accelerated the process ~ I've lost 10 pounds in 6 weeks!! I think there is something to this calorie in / calorie out thing.

One observation that I've made is it looks like I need to keep my calories around 1500 - 1600, average per week, to get better results. I will continue this experiment and see how I do...Will keep you posted!

Start your experiment today ~ Get started counting your calories & exercise and see where you are in six weeks.

Hugs!

Almost Forgot

I was responding to a comment from Frugalmom (you should check out her blog ~ she's just starting her journey as well - See my follower info). Anyway in thinking about this process of losing weight and getting fit, I almost forgot what got me started again, and for the final time. I will post the information I sent to Frugalmom.

Now that I'm remembering back - what kicked it into gear for me was I heard something on the Dr. Laura show that caught my attention. I've listened to her radio program for years. She frequently has callers who ask her how they can be more disciplined or how to get motivated to lose weight and get fit. What's so weird is, for years, every time she answers the question, I get interrupted and I never hear her answer. One day in December 2009, I finally got to hear it. You know what she told the caller? "There is no magic answer to the question, it's a matter of grit". You just have grit through and "do it". That's it! And that what got me jump started!! I just took the time to look at where I was ~ It is what it is! The reality of the situation was terrifying, but that was my baseline and I just starting baby stepping into each new thing or change that I needed to make.

Just do something towards good health each day. Not looking for perfection, just progress.

What's it going to take to get you jump started?

Hugs!