First of all...thank you to every one who left a comment yesterday regarding Toxic People. I honestly thought I would get slammed with negative comments about how cruel and mean I am, for wanting to rid myself of toxic people in my life and to instead focus on me and my health and fitness. (To free myself from these life sucking people and finally, finally, focus on me and my health ~ for once!)
I never really, ever, realized how much your environment can influence you and how you live your life. No wonder people turn to food or other devices to cope. No wonder!
Why now am I just getting this.....I guess it's because I've had just a taste of what taking care of myself feels like and now when I feel that I've been pushed to far, it hurts....it really hurts and I guess, I don't want to hurt like that anymore.
So anyway ~ Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement. I really appreciate it!!
Yesterday, I had to deal with someone who is toxic. It did not go well. I really wanted to help this person for a lifetime, give them some practical advise to help propel them for success. All this person wanted, was what they wanted today. This person did not care or want to look to the future. They pretty much threw a hissy fit with a wide range of emotions from Joy, laughing, confidence, anger, fear, sadness, desperation, defiance, then acceptance of what really had to happen. I was so saddened because I could not make it better. I just had to let go....
Part of me wants to blame and chastise myself for failing this person. (If this person, or anyone else who knows about this reads this post - I just want you to know that my intention has always been to help ~ always. They never wanted to hear or learn from what I had to say. At least I never saw any fruit of lessons learned) I keep thinking back to what else or more I could have done for them. But the reality is, I did all I could do. Now I pray that this person will take what they have experienced and learn and grow from the experience. I can hope for that!
After it was over, I just wanted to go home and eat stuff. I really did. But instead I called my Hubby and he said he would come home early from work and we would hang out together. We ended up having dinner on our patio, then worked on his resume. He's applying for a new position at work. It's was our 24th wedding Anniversary.....
Not the greatest day for celebration....we get to do that this Friday. We both have the day off and will be going water skiing in the morning, til mid afternoon, then maybe a bike ride, then we will get ready and we are going to a beautiful restaurant that is 30 floors up in the city. Every seat in the place is breathtaking! After that we have a new movie we want to see. That will be a day of celebration!
Got to get to work! Have a Blessed Day!
Stay focused!
Showing posts with label Toxic People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toxic People. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Toxic People
I've got some toxic people in my life right now. Both in my professional and personal life. I can't get away from them!! Bugs me soooo bad.....They make decisions in their lives...bad ones. Then when their lives fall down and they are in trouble, then they want me to fix it!?! Huh?
They blame...they look to me to fix it...they call...they cry...they beg...then one day they are up and the next down. It's a freaking roller coaster!!! And they want me to get in the car and ride the dang thing with them. AND I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT!
First of all the people who are toxic in my life....did not ask me first before they made their stupid decisions. You know....get help BEFORE they destroy their lives. Then how come, when their decisions don't work for them, then, why do they come to me for help? They want help ~ when it's too late....Like I can do ANYTHING for them now. I can't!!!
And I refuse, once and for all, to take on their burdens, their problems, their troubles on my shoulders. I'm not doing it!!!
THIS IS SOO HARD!! Because being a Christian, I struggle that if I don't give in and sacrifice for them, then I'm not doing the right thing in the eyes of the Lord. I struggle, struggle, struggle......struggle with this!!
However, here's the difference for me......I am wiling to help others and I do it all the time. I volunteer at the Rescue Mission, give money to Missionaries, give money to my church. We have given groceries, money and even cars to family members in NEED.
Where the struggle is are the people who are always hanging on, always draining you, always in crisis ~ because of their stupid decisions, always out there with their hands out......wanting!!
I just can't do it anymore!
The reason why I'm not helping them, why am I doing this now? Because some of these people having been doing this my whole life and I'm not giving any more of my life to them. So far, it has not done any good, so what's the point? The other thing...if I'm giving myself to a lost cause, then that means I'm taking away from what I NEED in my life.
These people have affected my family, my health (mental health ~ because they make me crazy and depressed & physical health~ because in the past, what they do to me, makes me want to eat!), and they have affected my life...and not in a positive way. And I'm not doing it anymore!!!
From this moment, I am limiting my interactions with these people. Once a month wellness checks, birthday and holiday cards and that's it. I have caller ID on my phone and I don't have to take their calls. I can delete their phone and email messages. I don't have to be subjected to their drama, their crisis, their problems any longer!!
I so want to delete this.....because it sounds sooo MEAN!!!!!!!! I hate that I feel this way with the people I love, but I really can't do it anymore. I can't move on my with my own health because they are pulling me down. I so try not to let what they are doing affect me, but I can't seem to stop them from wearing me down. In the beginning, I thought I could help. I had resolve that I could do this, but they have pushed too far!!
Now I do feel like I'm on the roller coaster.....only I'm going down....If I stay on it....how many more times will I get a chance to do this life for me? It's always been about them....But it's my time....my time right now!!
If I can't do this for me now....I will die. Then what good will I be to anyone?
Do you have toxic people in your life? Are you ready to get rid of them and take care of yourself?
Keep focused!
They blame...they look to me to fix it...they call...they cry...they beg...then one day they are up and the next down. It's a freaking roller coaster!!! And they want me to get in the car and ride the dang thing with them. AND I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT!
First of all the people who are toxic in my life....did not ask me first before they made their stupid decisions. You know....get help BEFORE they destroy their lives. Then how come, when their decisions don't work for them, then, why do they come to me for help? They want help ~ when it's too late....Like I can do ANYTHING for them now. I can't!!!
And I refuse, once and for all, to take on their burdens, their problems, their troubles on my shoulders. I'm not doing it!!!
THIS IS SOO HARD!! Because being a Christian, I struggle that if I don't give in and sacrifice for them, then I'm not doing the right thing in the eyes of the Lord. I struggle, struggle, struggle......struggle with this!!
However, here's the difference for me......I am wiling to help others and I do it all the time. I volunteer at the Rescue Mission, give money to Missionaries, give money to my church. We have given groceries, money and even cars to family members in NEED.
Where the struggle is are the people who are always hanging on, always draining you, always in crisis ~ because of their stupid decisions, always out there with their hands out......wanting!!
I just can't do it anymore!
The reason why I'm not helping them, why am I doing this now? Because some of these people having been doing this my whole life and I'm not giving any more of my life to them. So far, it has not done any good, so what's the point? The other thing...if I'm giving myself to a lost cause, then that means I'm taking away from what I NEED in my life.
These people have affected my family, my health (mental health ~ because they make me crazy and depressed & physical health~ because in the past, what they do to me, makes me want to eat!), and they have affected my life...and not in a positive way. And I'm not doing it anymore!!!
From this moment, I am limiting my interactions with these people. Once a month wellness checks, birthday and holiday cards and that's it. I have caller ID on my phone and I don't have to take their calls. I can delete their phone and email messages. I don't have to be subjected to their drama, their crisis, their problems any longer!!
I so want to delete this.....because it sounds sooo MEAN!!!!!!!! I hate that I feel this way with the people I love, but I really can't do it anymore. I can't move on my with my own health because they are pulling me down. I so try not to let what they are doing affect me, but I can't seem to stop them from wearing me down. In the beginning, I thought I could help. I had resolve that I could do this, but they have pushed too far!!
Now I do feel like I'm on the roller coaster.....only I'm going down....If I stay on it....how many more times will I get a chance to do this life for me? It's always been about them....But it's my time....my time right now!!
If I can't do this for me now....I will die. Then what good will I be to anyone?
Do you have toxic people in your life? Are you ready to get rid of them and take care of yourself?
Keep focused!
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