I surrender....

 Without looking back, I am sure that I've already stated this, but I surrender.... I surrender my weight, health, and life totally to the Lord. I have tried so many things that the world says works to achieve health and fitness. I have pushed and prodded my body to lose almost 100 pounds with a crazy diet and excessive exercise to the detriment of my health and to regain all but 25 pounds back. I realize that I cannot do this on my own. I am totally ready to surrender this all to the one who can get this done.

How????

I don't know everything yet as this is a work in progress, but I can tell you that the past 4 days have been amazing. The first thing I did was pray. I did not pray for God to fix anything or me or to take the weight away. I prayed that He would slow my mind down, so I can listen and hear what He wants me to know and how He want to get this done. First thing that needs to be addressed is stress...

How do I know this.....because after the prayer, I started to listen....to Family, friends, Podcasts, church, commercials, shows, Facebook, glimpses of words here and there that I would see and the word I kept hearing is: Stress...."You need to relieve your stress," "It's a stressful world", "Stress is not good for you". etc. It was like the Lord was sending the message everywhere He could to get my attention. 

OK Stress..How do I relieve it? First up, what was I listening to? CRIME SHOWS....Stressful? Oh my word, the worst! I deleted almost all of them. OK it's a process...I have a couple that are entertaining that I'm not ready to give up...yet. When I have other good things to listen to, I will delete them. In place of  crime show I found the The Healthy Women Podcast by Dr. Melody Stevens.  She has 3 seasons of episodes that I have been binging on. Her Podcasts are just full of information on sharing God's word regarding health and fitness and so many other things,

Praise music. Instead of Podcasts, I've been listening to praise music and calm instrumental music.

Yoga - I going to do yoga a couple of days per week. I took the first on-line class on Saturday and loved it.  

Deep breathing & prayer.  Every time I get anxious or worried, I would breath deep and say..."You're good, you're good. You have everything you need...all the while breathing deeply. The next thing when I'm worried, is to remember God's promises....There are so many in the Bible. Here's one of my favorites:

Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, "declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all nations and places where I have banished you, " declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I have carried you into exile."

Is this new way going to make any difference to my weight loss? You know, I don't really know. We shall see. So far I have been really peaceful. I have clarity of my mind, I've enjoyed food, I've slept well without snoring and night terrors. So far so good!

Honestly, the way this feels now, I don't care what size I am. I am finally at peace....