Startin' and Stoppin' and Startin' and Stoppin'.....

Startin' and a Stoppin' and a Startin' and a Stoppin'....It's a pattern!! Just check out my blog posts.  Some times I stop focusing on my goals for just a few days, sometimes it's weeks, sometimes a couple of months and the last big one, was a year!  I have allowed work, problems, laziness, illness, procrastination and many other reasons to stop my progress in my health journey. 

.....I started the above post yesterday after feeling really frustrated that I had stopped, again! I had lost my mojo.... I had lost my way a little and was not doing the things I needed to do for myself. I forgot my goals. The post I had in mind, yesterday, was a post ripping myself apart and tearing myself down for being so weak willed, forgetful, slothful, etc. 

Thankfully, I got distracted, so that post did not got out. 

Today, I just happened to listen to another podcast with The Healthy Christian Women Podcast by Dr. Melody Stevens. (#34 Stop Dieting for Life). Now I was listening while working so I was not totally focused, but some things really crept in. There are a lot of nuggets in this message, but the biggest one that stood out, is that while I am walking through my health and fitness journey, the Lord is with me. He is doing a work and He is carving out things that need to go. Helping me get to my goal, all the while I'm getting closer and closer to Him. He is working on my heart and freeing me of all the life long stuff that I have been carrying around. He's doing a deeper work and refining me to be the woman He wants me to be.  That's what He wants!!! 

Me...I've wanted weight loss so I can fit into clothes off the rack. I want to run a marathon. I want to be well so I can do what I want to do. I have never really thought of what He wants for me or what He wants me to do. I just do stuff....

About 25 years ago, a sweet lady came to me at a Bible Study. At the time, I was a busy, working mom, juggling many things and was always at my limit....She said....I can remember this like it was yesterday. Anyway, she said, "Joy, God gave me a vision. He's sitting with His hands out. And in each hand He has a list. In one hand, the list is very long and in the other hand He had a short list." This woman said, "in the hand with the long list, is a list of all the good things that you want to do....for your family, friends, work etc.  And in the other hand is a short list of all the things He asking you to do....." She said, "your list is so big that you cannot even see or consider His list....

Basically I was running myself ragged. Stressing out over all the "To Do" things. I was doing really good things, but I was just not listening to Him and what He wanted me to do. 

Now people can say whatever they want and she probably wanted to just keep her mouth shut, but she spoke truth into my life that day. I have not forgotten those words and they keep coming back to me...Just like today.

I think I got my thinkin' focused on the wrong things. I think I need to be thinkin' about what He's trying to show me and is doing in my life. I need to ask Him what He wants me to do...(You have no idea how scary it is just typing that sentence out. Yikes!!!)

I think He's refining me, starting way back when with all that startin' and stoppin'. I do know that each time I come back, I am different...stronger....closer to my goal.  Now if I would get out of my way and let Him guide me, things can really happen.  Even at that Bible Study. He showed me that I have things to do and he's trying to remove "other" things that are getting in my way....

Right now...I'm super stressing about my health. I even wake up at night with night terrors....screaming out sometimes that I'm going to die because I'm not doing things right.

I can see that I've had this stress my entire life. And I guess, I am really tired of it. I am ready to surrender this to Him. I'm willing to wait for my healing, willing to be refined and ready to become the women He's designed me to be.

And I'm going to give myself some grace. Because I may see these starts and stops as weakness and failure. But I don't think He sees it that way. He's seeing a stronger, capable, determined woman coming out of her shell. A woman of God, that He created!

And that makes me pretty darn happy!!!

So excited to explore His List and to see what's next!!!!

I surrender....

 Without looking back, I am sure that I've already stated this, but I surrender.... I surrender my weight, health, and life totally to the Lord. I have tried so many things that the world says works to achieve health and fitness. I have pushed and prodded my body to lose almost 100 pounds with a crazy diet and excessive exercise to the detriment of my health and to regain all but 25 pounds back. I realize that I cannot do this on my own. I am totally ready to surrender this all to the one who can get this done.

How????

I don't know everything yet as this is a work in progress, but I can tell you that the past 4 days have been amazing. The first thing I did was pray. I did not pray for God to fix anything or me or to take the weight away. I prayed that He would slow my mind down, so I can listen and hear what He wants me to know and how He want to get this done. First thing that needs to be addressed is stress...

How do I know this.....because after the prayer, I started to listen....to Family, friends, Podcasts, church, commercials, shows, Facebook, glimpses of words here and there that I would see and the word I kept hearing is: Stress...."You need to relieve your stress," "It's a stressful world", "Stress is not good for you". etc. It was like the Lord was sending the message everywhere He could to get my attention. 

OK Stress..How do I relieve it? First up, what was I listening to? CRIME SHOWS....Stressful? Oh my word, the worst! I deleted almost all of them. OK it's a process...I have a couple that are entertaining that I'm not ready to give up...yet. When I have other good things to listen to, I will delete them. In place of  crime show I found the The Healthy Women Podcast by Dr. Melody Stevens.  She has 3 seasons of episodes that I have been binging on. Her Podcasts are just full of information on sharing God's word regarding health and fitness and so many other things,

Praise music. Instead of Podcasts, I've been listening to praise music and calm instrumental music.

Yoga - I going to do yoga a couple of days per week. I took the first on-line class on Saturday and loved it.  

Deep breathing & prayer.  Every time I get anxious or worried, I would breath deep and say..."You're good, you're good. You have everything you need...all the while breathing deeply. The next thing when I'm worried, is to remember God's promises....There are so many in the Bible. Here's one of my favorites:

Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, "declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all nations and places where I have banished you, " declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I have carried you into exile."

Is this new way going to make any difference to my weight loss? You know, I don't really know. We shall see. So far I have been really peaceful. I have clarity of my mind, I've enjoyed food, I've slept well without snoring and night terrors. So far so good!

Honestly, the way this feels now, I don't care what size I am. I am finally at peace....

 

Day 108 - 7 Month Focus / Struggles

I spent a great deal of time yesterday reading blogs and there seems to be a common theme.....This journey is hard!!!!!

That is for sure! There are many people, including myself, who have had success, struggled, threatened to quit, wanted to run away, were high on the mountain top and then thrown to the ground. I've experienced all of these things and then some!

I have learned that this journey is not easy....It's not easy getting started.....not easy staying focused.....not easy getting to the goal.....and I read that it's not easy keeping the weight off. The journey is NOT EASY!!!!

Other things I picked up while I was reading is ~ to achieve a healthy lifestyle and to reach our goals is....That it will take hard work to reach our goals....There is no easy way out.....There will be success and struggle.....There is no MAGIC PILL....

Well what does that leave us?

HOPE!!

Because I also heard that it takes determination, a strong will and grit to get this done. And my Friend we have that!!!

There is no reason why we can't reach our goals. None! Even in times of trouble, disappointment, struggles and even good times. We can do this!

I'm an all or nothing kind of gal. If I can't do it perfect then, I'm stopping. Well so far, I have been far from perfect on this journey and I have had many successes and many failures and I'm still at it. One day I have clarity of mind, then the next I'm out of my mind. I have been on my way, making stuff happen and then life happens and I'm off track. I've wanted to get this weight off and then there have been times, like last week while I was on vacation, that I did not even think of the journey. I've had highly productive days and days where I could hardly get out of bed. But I have not quit.

I guess what I'm saying....is even though many things have happened along the journey, good and bad, I'm still here...I'm still plugging away...I'm still at it! I have not quit (which I did many times on other plans). I'm still focused!! I'm Determined!!! I gritting this out!!!!

So even though it's not perfect, the goals can still be achieved, just have to keep at it and stay focused on the goal!! Can't quit ~ EVER!

The other thing, I would like to share is....While I was complaining to someone about my stresses, struggles and troubles, she reminded me that I need to slow down and ENJOY the journey. I did that when I first started and things really happened for me...EVEN WHEN I WAS DOING MOST THINGS WRONG. I lost most of my weight doing things wrong and I think, for me, that the stress I've put on myself recently has stalled my progress. I've been so focused on the end goal, that I've not enjoyed, DAILY, the progress that I've made.

So yesterday, I enjoyed the day. I did not look ahead, I did not stress what I did not get done....I was happy with right where I was!!!!! So the END result of yesterday was...

I had a great food day, got my water in, moved my body, was on time for everything, worked hard at work, got some home stuff done, saw my Nutritionist, visited with my Daughter and Mom, played a game and spent time blogging. It was a great day! Stress FREE!

Today, I'm refreshed and ready to do it again!

How about you...Are you ready to leave stress behind and enjoy the journey?

Keep focused!

Day 57 - 7 Month Focus

If my math is right, in 36 hours,  I will be running a 5k for the first time ever! I will be running with my daughter, Margene and her friends. I cannot wait!!!!

Again I've allowed stress to set me back this week. I just wish I would not go there, but I do! Anyone else do that? For me, stress really kills my weight loss and fitness journey. I turn so inward, that I can't see what I'm supposed to do. And when I get like this EVERYTHING affects me. I get so offended and hurt and fuss over such silly things in life. Frustration comes in and it stalls everything.

Yet I do nothing to eliminate the stress in my life. Well one thing I do is read and sleep. But I'm sure there are other great ways to combat stress....

Do you have any ideas?

Stats from yesterday.

Exercise: 30 minutes treadmill
Steps: 7486 (Geez, if I would have plugged in my Bugg and checked, I would have realized how close I was to my 10,000 step goal and I would have got this goal done.
Calories: 1905 - Same thing....I need to be more focused on what's happening!
Food Tracking: Done
Water: 100+ oz
Blog: Done

I know the uncertainty of the 5k has been on my mind. So thankful that I actually took the time last weekend and ran one, so I know I can do it. I just need to get an official race under my belt.

Keep up the great work my Friends and stay focused!!!!

Day 44 - 7 Month Focus

Yesterday was another tough day. Just did not feel well. Everything hurt and I had no energy!!

Stats from yesterday...

Exercise: 30 minutes on Treadmill
Steps: 4864
Calories: 1944
Food Tracking: Done
Water: 100+ oz
Blog: Done


OK ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!

Had a couple really hard days. Got myself too tired and too stressed and my fatigue level dropped! I did that to myself by not taking good care of myself by getting enough rest. So the past couple days, I've be doing just that and now....I feel refreshed!!

The other thing I did was try to remember what I was doing when I was on my game. Most of the time when I'm in this bad frame of mind, I can't remember what worked before, can't remember my plan or why I was doing what I was doing.

A few months ago, when I was up, I wrote down this little letter to myself:

Don’t Forget…..

You’ve had success so far. With the Lord’s help you have made some real progress!

However today, you are off track. you are lost…you’ve forgotten your goal…you don’t feel like doing it anymore….you are tired….stressed…..you are cranky…..

If that happens….do the following:

• Surrender your life to the Lord
• Pray daily on your knees / pray continually through the day for His strength and guidance
• Remember your health and weight loss plan
• Exercise daily (at least walk a ½ hr) – weights 2-3 times a week
• Calories should be at 1600 average per week
• Water intake should be 108 oz (14 – 8oz glasses)
• Journal food

Attitude (If in a funk)

• Turn on praise music
• Blog daily – Even if it’s ugly!
• Surround yourself with positive people

Do something nice for yourself

• Pedicure
• Manicure
• Get your hair done
• Visit someone
• Read book
• Craft
• Give to others
• Write
• Check out inspirational messages

The more you surrender to the Lord, the easier the scary stuff seems and the more you get done!

REMEMBER YOUR SUCCESS!!!


So when I was down, I remembered to look at the letter and it really got me excited again. It worked!!!!

I am back on track!!!

This morning I was on the treadmill and ran for 21 minutes!!! Woo Hoo!!!

I have energy, excitement, anticipation and hope!!

Do you have a plan for when you are down? If not get one ~ It works!!

Keep focused!

Day 38 - 7 Month Focus

Yesterday was a tough day!! Too much stress and pressure at work and I was super tired and hungry!! I pushed through the day and even fought off eating too much. I did go over 172 calories, but by the time I was done with my workout with my trainer, I don't think that's too bad. She kick my hiney!! I needed the nourishment!

We did 15 minutes on the treadmill and then my weight routine. She increased the weights on most everything! I am lifting about 12.5 pounds for shoulder work, 15 pounds for triceps and 20 pounds for biceps. WOW I can't even believe I can do that. Don't tell her this, but some of the things we do, the weight are too light!! Shhh!! It kind of freaks me out. Do you know how big 20 pound weights are? We have two racks of weights in my gym. The "girl" rack and the "guy" rack. The 20 pound weights are the last ones on the girl rack. The next size up is in their rack!!! YIKES!!!  Yep, I'm headed for the "Big" Boys!! Then after the weight session, it was 30 minutes on the bike.

It was kind of fun, even though I was super tired when I went in, I left that place floating on a cloud. It feels great to be strong and fit. I love being able to do what she asks me to do, even if it scares the pants right off me!!

Stats from yesterday....

Exercise: 30 minutes (in the morning) & 15 minutes (in the evening) on the treadmill, 30 minutes bike & weight training
Steps: 12996
Calories: 1726
Food tracking: Done
Water: 100+ oz
Blog: Done

What about you....Are you pushing through?