Thursday, October 12, 2017

Attitude....

Since I'm back at this plan to go from Fat to Fit to Fat to Fit again.....I better get this out there. I am 239 pounds...

I remember when I got started with my health and fitness journey at 274 pounds...and when I hit 239 pounds. I was delighted!!

Well I am here again and you know I have a decision to make about that number. I can either whine, complain, cry, be disgusted, unhappy or whatever, or I can decide to embrace right where I am.

I am not dead....I think that would be a great reason for all of the above emotions.

Fantastically I am way better off than that. Woo Hoo!!

So I am Re-Thinking about my attitude and Remembering that I am on my way!  I am embracing where I am right now. I appreciate that I can still move, that I have not gone beyond return. I did not gain back all the weight. I am pretty darn OK!!!

And I am delighted to be 239+ for the last time!!!

Now I get to find the fun in how I'm going get this off. I am going to enjoy the journey and love my life. Because you know......there is so much more to life than feeling sorry for myself.  I've got great positive things to do for my health and it's exciting to see new progress each day!!

I'm doing this!! Once and for all!! Are you with me?

Keep moving!!



Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Re-Think & Remember....

OK for me, focus is key! The past two days, I have put my health first and I'm already feeling better!!

My Hubby got me a Smart Watch which helps me to remember to stand, drink water, and move. It's fun meeting and sometimes exceeding my daily goals. On my work tablet, I write each day "Re-Think and Remember"....

"Re-Think" for me means....I have a choice every day to put my focus on either good things or bad things for my life. I can think that it's just too late for me, I'm not healthy enough, I am too tired, I just want to eat what I want, I really don't care, blah blah blah. Yeah that thinking has not helped me in the past two years.

Or I can decide that it's not too late for me. Until my body is in the box, I still can make healthy choices. I am healthy enough and will get stronger if I keep pushing toward good health.. I just need to keep going. I am tired, but.....I can choose to go to bed earlier and maybe say no to things that are stealing my energy! Hum what a concept! I really do want to eat whatever I want, but you know....I really don't feel well when I do. It's so not worth it! And I DO REALLY CARE!!! I want to be healthy as I grow old. I want to be around for my awesome Hubby, children and grandbabies. I want to run a marathon...I know, I can't let it go....I want to help others....Blah Blah Blah....Nothing but positive thinking for me!!

"Remember" for me means...I need to remember what works, remember the plan, remember that I've set goals, remember what it felt like to be fit, remember what it felt like to cross that finish line. Remember that there's more for me to do and I need to be healthy enough to do it.

So today and each day after.....I'm going to Re-Think what I'm doing and make good choices and Remember why I do what I do.

Keep moving!!

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Attitude

While I was on my walk yesterday, two minutes in, my legs began to hurt. I was facing a 3 mile walk and it was waaaay to early to start with this. So I had a choice. I could complain, feel frustrated and quit, or I could pray and change my attitude.

I prayed and began praising God for the what I have and for the things I "CAN" do!! Instead of being mad that my body aches and is so painful right now, I changed my thinking and prayed life into them. I imagined all the muscles, tendons and blood vessels in my legs were healthy and strong. I saw that my hips were healed. That my heart was strong and I had iron rich blood moving through my body. Before I knew it, all the pain was gone and I was able to go 3.6 miles at my lunch break and then I took another 2 mile walk in the evening - - WITH NO PAIN!!

I decided to Re-Think this whole thing out. Instead of thinking about what I don't have or what does not work or whatever negative thing I can dredge up. I have decided to Re-Think it and imagine what I want it to be.

Yesterday, I was thinking that I was ugly. Today, I decided that I was not. Oh my word, my hair and makeup turned out. I have my favorite outfit on. And I was able to get these beautiful earrings in my ears. (They would not go in before). So I'm feeling really good!!! I'm feeling beautiful!!!

Get rid of those negative thoughts and Re-Think how you want things to go. Give it a try ~ You have nothing to lose!!

I am going to have another successful. How about you?

Keep moving!!!

Monday, October 9, 2017

New Beginning ~~~ Again!!

I don't have time to really rehash what was, but here's a snippet of what's happened so far...

Prior to 2010 I was 274 pounds, sedentary, on a bunch of meds for high blood pressure and high cholesterol, sick and very unhappy.

What got me started.....
1.) I gave myself 1 year to see if I could lose weight.
2.) Got proof that very large people can lose weight, by watching the Biggest Loser....(Since I was told by doctors that once you are fat you will always be fat and I thought that was true. Watching BL I found that it was possible  to get it off....but it's the keeping it off thing that is the hard part.)
3.) Heard that there is "NO MAGIC" - You just have to "Move More and Eat Less!!" 

So I got started. Cut out fast food and soda, yes, even diet soda, started exercising and quickly lost 50 pounds.

I was so happy and really having fun with the process until one of my so called blog "friend" said, "Oh you just wait, you will hit the wall and it won't be fun anymore". That very day, it was no longer fun because of what she said.  B*&$%!!!

Anyway, I kept it up and lost another 24 pounds in the next years and I started running. For some reason, I did not really understand that lifting weights, running and building muscle could equate to weight gain. I was looking great, but started to freak because my weight was going up instead of down.

So I did a very stupid thing. I got started on a crazy low calorie diet (not mentioning which one, but if you look back you can figure it out.)  I did that for another couple of years and in total, I had lose 94 pounds, ran 10 half marathons and bunch of 10k's and 5k's and did a sprint triathlon. All the while eating very few calories and exercising a lot!!

Two summers ago, my body crashed. All my reserves were gone and I could no longer run, my mind was all fuzzy and I got really sick!! Doctors said I did not do it right and instead of making my body healthy and fit, I just got myself a lot sicker.

IT'S BEEN OVER TWO YEARS SINCE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO RUN!!!!

The only thing that I've done is I have been able to walk at least 15 miles per week, but it's been a struggle!!

My food is off, water is off, vitamins are sporadic, my head is so not in the game.

AND YOU GUESSED IT. - - - I'VE GAINED 54 POUNDS BACK!!

Today is supposed to be my day to get back on track and then my walking buddy cancels on me.

WOO HOO!! I'm the hook today!!

REALLY?!?!?!

Girl - If not today, when????

It's almost noon, it's beautiful out, I've had my lunch and water and I'm gettin' my workout clothes on and I'm heading the door!!

Keep Moving!!!

UPDATE: Just got back - 3.6 miles (walk)  at lunch, then 2 mile walk in the evening. Great food day and got all my water in!! WOO HOO!!


Monday, June 5, 2017

Feeling better.

Ok I'm feeling a little better today.  I don't feel as hopeless as I did yesterday.  I have a plan formulating in my brain. Most urgent things I need to do for myself...  

Daily.......
1.) Change my attitude from a I can't do this attitude to a I CAN do this attitude.
2.) Take my vitamins and supplements.
3.) Drink my water.
4.) Eat less.
5.) Move more.
6.) Take care of daily needs.
7.) Get my sleep.

I'll refine this as I go along.  For now this is enough.    If I just do the above that would be a great improvement in my life.

More to follow!!!

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Feeling Jealous...

Just don't think there is any place else that I can say how I feel today...I am JEALOUS!!!  Obviously I've been absent from posting for a long time!  It's been just about two years ago that I started having an adrenal fatigue issue and my fatigue level dropped drastically.   When it's really hit me, I was only able to do what I needed to do, like work, minimal house stuff and just a was able to do a few things. I was no longer able to run, life weights or anything. I became sedentary. And the only thing that kind of gave me energy was sugar. So guess what....I've gained 60 pounds back.

I worked sooooo hard to lose 94 pounds. I ran 10 half marathons and many other running event, I did a sprint triathlon and did the Hood to Coast relay event. And now.....I'm not able to do much of anything, but walk and even that is difficult as I just don't have the energy and I have pretty bad legs cramps...

I have been to the doctors and things are I proving. Buts it's been a very slow process....

Here's where I'm jealous. I'm seeing all of my race buddies posting their events on face book.....and my news feed is silent.  And I'm seeing people post all of their before and after pictures of their weight loss....of course these people are doing the same crazy diet that I did that got me into my fatigue problem....it's working for them,  but it was killing me......I almost want to go back on it again just so I could lose weight....but if I do, it will kill me.  My body does not like it!!

Then I'm seeing people who have had huge amounts of weight loss because of surgery.   Remember I'm jealous, so I maybe a little snarky,....so here goes....they took the easy way out...I know, I know it's not easy....but I worked soooooo hard for 5 years to lose those 94 pounds. I lost the first 50 my own, and then I used a pretty restrictive (very low calories) diet, Plus I did too much exercise to lose the rest and I wrecked my system.

Now I just have to wait and let my body heal, and take this slow.  Obviously I need to reduce my calories and get my body moving and I'm hoping I can get back on track soon.

I'm just jealous that it can't be easy for me.... I am so sick of the struggle, of things not working, or things that worked before are not working now, or that is takes so f,piping long to see results......

I'm sick of it all!!!!

Sorry for the rant, still don't feel any better. I hope to see a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel...

Sorry!

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Update!

Really don't even know where to begin.....I guess I'll go back to summer 2014...I will be quick! I promise!!

Summer of 2014 I was in the best shape ever! I was at my lowest weight, at my fastest run pace and could not do enough, just not enough time in the day!! I competed in many running events, 5k's, 10k's, at least 2 half marathons and a sprint triathlon. Plus we were biking, swimming, boating, camping and all kinds of other things. I felt great!!

Beginning of fall 2014, I began to notice that I needed a little more sleep and I just did not want to do my beloved running any more.  I thought, well you had a very busy first half of the year and a crazy busy summer, you probably just need a rest. So I rested all the way through December 2014.

January 2015 I got back on my running training schedule and started working toward my 1/2 marathon that was scheduled in May. Mind you, I was still on the low calorie diet and had no energy while trying to do this training.

I was set up for 2 weight lifting days, 3 short runs during the week and then a long run on the weekend. Most weeks, I could get at least 1 short run done and hit or miss on the weight lifting....but I always got the long runs done. Early in my training, my long runs started at 3 miles and each week they got longer and longer until I would be able to run 13.1 miles in May.

As the 1/2 marathon approached, I was feeling the pressure...Oh my! I was not getting my mid week runs in, just too tired, and was pushing waaaaay too hard on the long runs. Unfortunately these long runs took about 3-4 days to recover from and I really did not have any gas left to get my mid-week runs and weight lifting in. Then three weeks before my race, I was pushing on a long run and injured the tops of my feet. Stupid me, never thought that I should just bag the race....nope I pushed through to the start line with inadequate training, no energy, injured feet and not quite ready to run 13.1 miles.

Race day came and I did 6 miles pretty well. At mile 6, my feet started to hurt and I had no energy to finish. At that point, I had a panic attack on the course. I was freaking out and wondering how I was going to do 7.1 miles to finish. I just did not think I could do it. It's never occurred to me that I could call my Hubby and he could pick me up. My only focus was getting to that finish line....even if I had to crawl....I was going to get there!!!! I was going to finish....and I did. It was not a favorable finish that was for sure, but I got it done.

After that race, I really tried to go back to basics and start over. I tried to set up a 5k plan and get a really good 5k under my belt and then move to longer distances. But I just could not make it happen.

Anything I did, it would take days to recover. You just can't train for distances only running 1-2 days a week.

I was frustrated!!!! What in the world.....just a few months ago, I could bike 65 miles, run 13.1 miles, swim for miles, and anything else I wanted to do and now, I could barely walk a mile. Just had no gas in the tank!

So I went to the doctor mid-September and they did the usual blood work and found that I was anemic, so they ramped up my iron intake. My last blood test mid-December showed that I was no longer anemic, but I have low iron storage, which is causing my fatigue.

I guess, according to my doctors notes, I have had low iron since 2011. But with the crazy low calorie diet and all the training I did the summer of 2014, I depleted my iron storage. I really did not have anything in my tank. I was depleted....

To my horror, my doctor told me to get off of the crazy low calorie diet and eat real iron-rich foods, they gave me iron supplements, restricted me from training and working with my personal trainer and ordered me to rest. Huh?

Needless to say, I did not handle that prescription very well. In fact, they were a little concerned for me and sent me to a behavior counselor to help me deal with the fact that I could no longer do what I wanted to do.  The counselor even told me that I was a "health freak" and I needed to get a little balance in my life. She and the doctors weren't sure if I would be able to go back to running and doing the activities I was doing and if that were the case, her job was to help me find something else to do.

Well bummer..............

So I did what I was told. I stopped the crazy dieting, I stopped running, stopped lifting weights, stopped swimming...I stopped it all.

Then I got a little depressed....OK a lot depressed and I started eating real food and gained 25 pounds back real fast! I did get a lot of rest, I ate my supplements, tried to move a little and gained 10 more pounds for my efforts.

So here I am......


  • I'm 35 pounds heavier....Now 70 pounds away from my goal.
  • Cannot run and I can barely walk a mile.
  • Lost a lot of my muscle.
  • Still have low energy. Thankfully I have more good energy days than bad....But high energy days can put me down for days.
  • Really no desire to get to the gym.
  • I have good food days, but I'm fighting the carbs. I did not have carbs for a year and a half and I'm having a hard time staying out of them...eating way to much!!

The thing is....there's a tiny glimmer of hope rising up in me! I may not be able to run the big races anymore, but I can walk. Even if it's not far...At least now, I want to do it. I want to try! I'm finally done with just eating what I want. I'm starting to crave broccoli and chicken...and other healthy foods. I'm beginning to remember to bring my water bottle. When I was healthy, I used to have one by my side at all times. When I was not feeling well. I did not bother with them. Hardly had any water at all. 

I'm no longer satisfied with the roly poly way my body feels right now. I miss my strong, fit body! I don't want to be a fluffy Grandma. I want to be a strong and fit Grandma and be able to keep up with my Grandbabies!!!!

The other thing I learned during this time was I need to be kind and gentle to myself. I need to listen to my body. If I can't do something, then I can't...for now.....I'm not going to push through. 

I want to rebuild my body the right way, with good healthy iron rich foods, I want to drink my water and move my body, doing what I can, and most importantly get my sleep!  I want to do this every day and work toward my ultimate health and fitness. 

So another set back ~ big deal. It's not going to get me down. I'm not giving in and I'm not going to quit!! I'm ready to get my health back!!!! 

Have a fit day!!