Sunday, December 27, 2015


Really don't even know where to begin.....I guess I'll go back to summer 2014...I will be quick! I promise!!

Summer of 2014 I was in the best shape ever! I was at my lowest weight, at my fastest run pace and could not do enough, just not enough time in the day!! I competed in many running events, 5k's, 10k's, at least 2 half marathons and a sprint triathlon. Plus we were biking, swimming, boating, camping and all kinds of other things. I felt great!!

Beginning of fall 2014, I began to notice that I needed a little more sleep and I just did not want to do my beloved running any more.  I thought, well you had a very busy first half of the year and a crazy busy summer, you probably just need a rest. So I rested all the way through December 2014.

January 2015 I got back on my running training schedule and started working toward my 1/2 marathon that was scheduled in May. Mind you, I was still on the low calorie diet and had no energy while trying to do this training.

I was set up for 2 weight lifting days, 3 short runs during the week and then a long run on the weekend. Most weeks, I could get at least 1 short run done and hit or miss on the weight lifting....but I always got the long runs done. Early in my training, my long runs started at 3 miles and each week they got longer and longer until I would be able to run 13.1 miles in May.

As the 1/2 marathon approached, I was feeling the pressure...Oh my! I was not getting my mid week runs in, just too tired, and was pushing waaaaay too hard on the long runs. Unfortunately these long runs took about 3-4 days to recover from and I really did not have any gas left to get my mid-week runs and weight lifting in. Then three weeks before my race, I was pushing on a long run and injured the tops of my feet. Stupid me, never thought that I should just bag the race....nope I pushed through to the start line with inadequate training, no energy, injured feet and not quite ready to run 13.1 miles.

Race day came and I did 6 miles pretty well. At mile 6, my feet started to hurt and I had no energy to finish. At that point, I had a panic attack on the course. I was freaking out and wondering how I was going to do 7.1 miles to finish. I just did not think I could do it. It's never occurred to me that I could call my Hubby and he could pick me up. My only focus was getting to that finish line....even if I had to crawl....I was going to get there!!!! I was going to finish....and I did. It was not a favorable finish that was for sure, but I got it done.

After that race, I really tried to go back to basics and start over. I tried to set up a 5k plan and get a really good 5k under my belt and then move to longer distances. But I just could not make it happen.

Anything I did, it would take days to recover. You just can't train for distances only running 1-2 days a week.

I was frustrated!!!! What in the world.....just a few months ago, I could bike 65 miles, run 13.1 miles, swim for miles, and anything else I wanted to do and now, I could barely walk a mile. Just had no gas in the tank!

So I went to the doctor mid-September and they did the usual blood work and found that I was anemic, so they ramped up my iron intake. My last blood test mid-December showed that I was no longer anemic, but I have low iron storage, which is causing my fatigue.

I guess, according to my doctors notes, I have had low iron since 2011. But with the crazy low calorie diet and all the training I did the summer of 2014, I depleted my iron storage. I really did not have anything in my tank. I was depleted....

To my horror, my doctor told me to get off of the crazy low calorie diet and eat real iron-rich foods, they gave me iron supplements, restricted me from training and working with my personal trainer and ordered me to rest. Huh?

Needless to say, I did not handle that prescription very well. In fact, they were a little concerned for me and sent me to a behavior counselor to help me deal with the fact that I could no longer do what I wanted to do.  The counselor even told me that I was a "health freak" and I needed to get a little balance in my life. She and the doctors weren't sure if I would be able to go back to running and doing the activities I was doing and if that were the case, her job was to help me find something else to do.

Well bummer..............

So I did what I was told. I stopped the crazy dieting, I stopped running, stopped lifting weights, stopped swimming...I stopped it all.

Then I got a little depressed....OK a lot depressed and I started eating real food and gained 25 pounds back real fast! I did get a lot of rest, I ate my supplements, tried to move a little and gained 10 more pounds for my efforts.

So here I am......

  • I'm 35 pounds heavier....Now 70 pounds away from my goal.
  • Cannot run and I can barely walk a mile.
  • Lost a lot of my muscle.
  • Still have low energy. Thankfully I have more good energy days than bad....But high energy days can put me down for days.
  • Really no desire to get to the gym.
  • I have good food days, but I'm fighting the carbs. I did not have carbs for a year and a half and I'm having a hard time staying out of them...eating way to much!!

The thing is....there's a tiny glimmer of hope rising up in me! I may not be able to run the big races anymore, but I can walk. Even if it's not far...At least now, I want to do it. I want to try! I'm finally done with just eating what I want. I'm starting to crave broccoli and chicken...and other healthy foods. I'm beginning to remember to bring my water bottle. When I was healthy, I used to have one by my side at all times. When I was not feeling well. I did not bother with them. Hardly had any water at all. 

I'm no longer satisfied with the roly poly way my body feels right now. I miss my strong, fit body! I don't want to be a fluffy Grandma. I want to be a strong and fit Grandma and be able to keep up with my Grandbabies!!!!

The other thing I learned during this time was I need to be kind and gentle to myself. I need to listen to my body. If I can't do something, then I can't...for now.....I'm not going to push through. 

I want to rebuild my body the right way, with good healthy iron rich foods, I want to drink my water and move my body, doing what I can, and most importantly get my sleep!  I want to do this every day and work toward my ultimate health and fitness. 

So another set back ~ big deal. It's not going to get me down. I'm not giving in and I'm not going to quit!! I'm ready to get my health back!!!! 

Have a fit day!!