Facing my Fears

For me facing my fears has to come one step at a time. Since I'm feeling so much better and I have all of this energy....and since losing this 70 pounds expanded my life from so few options to so many...I'm finding that I want to do everything. I want to get out there and live life to its fullest. This is huge for me, because I have to over come my fears of trying new things. I'm a risk taker....but I am finding that I have to overcome old tapes in my head and remember that I'm not the same person I used to be. I'm not hindered anymore. I can move and fit in things now. I can do stuff. Now it takes me a little while to over come these fears and I find if I take one thing at a time, its manageable and really not all that scary.

For instance....

(These ladies really helped me during a rough time in my life to which I am so grateful!! See Post)

I want to row on a rowing team.....What I really want to do is row for the Senior Olympic Games. I'm old enough now so that's one step closer. So 2 years ago....that was a long time ago, I went to a row clinic and tried it. I really liked it...But while I was there, I realized that this is a really tight community and very competitive and they really did not take to new comers. So that right there is a put off. Couple that with my own insecurities regarding my health and physical strength...oh and the injuries I was battling....well that was a recipe for disaster. So I have not pursued the issue any further....Except to look at the pictures I have all over my walls of rowers at my office and of course drooling as I watched the rowers in Austin. Finally it all just got to me and I decided to do something about it.

So a couple of weeks ago I decided it was time. I also decided that instead of just joining a team as an inexperience novice, I would take some classes. You can take classes where you learn boating safety, rowing techniques and introduction to competition. I thought a little experience might help my chances! You see that was my very first tiny baby step toward my goal. Just making the decision was a biggie! Then last week I Googled the row house info and figured out what I needed to do, how much the classes cost and I found out I need to do a swim test first. So I contacted my gym made my swim test appointment and got it done last night. I had to swim for 10 minutes without stopping and then tread water for 10 minutes without stopping. Piece of cake.....I passed!!


Do you know how many times I tried to get out of getting that swim test? Lots. Why I tried, I'm not sure. I have wanted to row for at least 3 years now. It's something I WANT TO DO, yet, I'm have stopped myself many times from reaching this goal. This time, the ball is rolling and I'm closer to my goal of seeing this happen.

Do I still have fears? You bet, I have a lot more to face before I even get in the boat...Will I have the money to pay for the class, can I find parking, will they like me, will I like them, will I fit in the boat, will I do well, what if I won't really like it and on and on.... These are just a few things I'm thinking about.....but I will address each one...one at a time and I will face these fears!!

Kind of dumb to fear stuff like that huh? I know. I'm working on this!!

How about you, are you facing your fears!!

Keep focused!

Day 40 & 41 - 7 Month Focus

Did not get to write anything yesterday, due to Blogger having the system down. I usually have about a half hour each day to write and read blogs. Not a lot of time. Once again, yesterday was a jammed packed day. Very stressful!! For a week now, I have been dealing with computer problems. All I did was switch our phone & Internet system, at work, from one provider to another. That's it!! But it effected our entire system. Email, fax, copy machine (scanning) and phone system. One thing would happen and then it would just snowball to the next thing. It never ended all week. Then yesterday, when I went to do my blog and found out that the system was down, I about lost it!!!

Computers...Internet...smart phones...remote controls...LOVE THEM.....HATE THEM!!!

I have to say, by the end of the day yesterday, I was not my usual joyful self. I really just wanted to hurt someone.....or eat a bunch of chocolate!!

But instead, I went back to my new way of living and thought up some things I could do to avoid hurting others or myself. So I called Margene to see how she is doing and to let her know that I'm going to do the Starlight 5k with her. I am really excited about that!! Hopefully my daughter will join us. Should be really fun!

Then I went to the nursery to pick up some plants. Just walking into the place, I could feel my blood pressure return to normal and I began to relax. My creative mind was going crazy with all of the possibilities. I think my eyes are bigger than my yard, which is as big as a postage stamp. Can I just say...Tiny! I got some Daisies - don't they just make you smile? And I got some Petunia's, Alyssum, Geraniums, Coleus, Asparagus Fern, Wandering Jew and some reeds (don't know what they are called). Everything is Red, White or Blue, and well green :-) So tomorrow is planting day. Can't wait!

Before Blogger went down, I was going to write about what happened on Thursday. I have to say, that I'm really disappointed in myself. As I am going through this journey, I am trying really hard to keep everything together. Before I started my health and fitness plan, I was fairly busy. Then adding the extra time for exercise, journaling food, blogging etc, plus all the other new things I've added to my life, lets just say, I am REALLY busy!!!

With that said, sometimes, I get behind on my house stuff. I mean everything gets done, but it's usually done in a frantic, crazed fashion and always last minute. So for over a month, I've had on my calendar a note to remind myself to sign up for a row class and every day I've been rescheduling the task, always thinking...that I have time. Well my time ran out. When I finally decided to sign up for the class, I realized that it started on 5/10/11 and I missed it. The boathouse website advised that if you missed the first classes, you should wait until the next one. Bummer!

Oh...the other thing about taking this class at this time is.....the class time starts at 5:30pm ~ totally doable!! Unfortunately the next class time, that starts 6/22 is 5:30AM!!! Yikes. Not only is the start time early, but it takes a half  hour to get to the water and that does not include getting ready and or parking. Can I just say  YIKES!!! Means I have to be up by 4:00am to make this happen. Wow! Good thing the class is only 2 days a week!

Anyway, in order to take the class I have to do a 20 minute swim test - which I will get done this next week or so. Then they have a free class on 6/4 in the morning (same day as the 5k - I'm going to be tired!!) Does not matter. I really want to do this and I'm going to make it happen!!!!

I guess that's it for now. Nuggets of truth in all this....be ready for your schedule and health and fitness plan to be shook up ~ have a back up plan. Be ready for stress and frustration ~ it's going to happen ~ be ready!! Look for beauty when you are in a mess! Don't procrastinate!! It could mean less sleep or worse! Be open to meet new friends ~ your life will be Blessed! Stretch yourself ~ You will be amazed how far you will go!

How about you...Got any nuggets to share?

Keep focused!