Thursday, December 30, 2010
I've been reading your posts ~ reflections on 2010 and goals for 2011 ~ There was so much hope for 2010!!! Some of us had success, while others of us have fallen short of our goals. I certainly did not achieve all I wanted to this past year!! It's fun to see the expectation and hope for 2011. I personally am looking for really big things to happen!
I've been thinking about the past year, for the most part it was an OK year. I mean I did lose 54 pounds - never done anything like that before!! Plus there were so many other changes that were beneficial that helped me to achieve losing the weight. However, I did have my share of things that were not achieved. In thinking about 2011, instead of the dread of making new goals only to not achieve them ~ I see success!!! Because this year, instead of making goals and waiting for something to happen. I'm going to set my goals and Just Do what it takes to make them happen!!!
I'm reading a book about creativity. It talks a lot about the energy that we put out and the energy that is all around us. Sounds a little weird, but I kind of get it. One of the things the book talks about is putting my energy toward the things I want to do. Then it struck me that I've never really thought about what I want...in terms of something big!! I know there is something more for me to do, it's big, but what is it? I am a fairly successful person, I have a great husband and family, beautiful home and a great job. But other than that, that's what I have. I know there is more for me....it dogs me every day...but I've never really stopped to think about what that something is.
Something said at Bringing Pretty Back got me to thinking. In her December 28th post about "Who do you think you are", she said, "I need to take the ideas floating around in my mind and make them concrete". That statement got me all excited because I do have ideas, a lot of them, in my head, that I want and need to get done!
Up til now, I've never stopped long enough to really formulate what they are. I think it's time for me to get them out of my head and on paper and once that's done ~ I just need to do it!! Whatever the goals are...whatever I have to do...I just need to put my energy there and make them happen!!
The fun thing is...and the only thing I know for sure is that I can see that my weight loss and fitness journey is the first thing that needs to be accomplished. Because reaching that goal will help me go on to the next one!! I see there is a grand plan designed, just for me!!! It's out there, but I have to do the work, one step at a time, to get there.
No more waiting around and dreaming about my goals, it's time to JUST DO IT!!!
What about you? Do you feel there's more out there for you? Are you going to be in the same place next year or are you going to do what you need to do to achieve your goals? MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The past months, I've been going through the motions, doing what I'm supposed to do, but I've had the biggest ugliest cloud handing over my head. It's like the biggest sense of dread ever!! Daily I was having trouble facing the grind of it all!!!
Today it feels like the clouds of depression have lifted off and I'm seeing nothing but blue skies ahead!! Thank God, because I could feel that I was slowly losing myself to the dark side!!
Now I feel like I can do what I need to do. Already I got one thing done that I wanted to do and that was getting a new workout outfit!! I found the cutest top and jacket!! They are form fitting and very comfortable!! Of course the shirt is pink and very bright. This is usually not a color I would pick, I'm an all black girl!! You know, because black makes you look slimmer ~ right? Anyway, wearing this shirt will be a stretch that I'm willing to take!! Oh and then it's tight fitting that's another stretch!!! (Get it?) Anyway, just finding this stuff in a regular clothes store is encouraging!! So much fun!
Even though I'm still injured, I can just barely get out of a chair without screaming, I am excited to get back to my exercise. Fortunately I'm able to walk, so I will be able to hit the treadmill ~ well at least do what I can. So happy that I at least want to exercise and I'm excited to get back to my routine!!
Also, I'm already back to my regular food, which is making me feel a lot better. It's not that I had too much food, just a little richer than I'm used to. So glad to get back to normal!
Anyway, I don't know what was up with me or why I had to go through this, I'm excited that I finally feel like I did prior to September!! I have hope again, I CAN DO THIS and I will achieve my goals!!
How about you? Are you doing well?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
So here I am, totally extended over the table and I try to stand up but the pain was immense!! The only thing I could do was stand hunched over and to try to slowly lower myself into my chair...once I got there, all I could do was just sit ~ I was unable to move! It took a long while before the extreme pain subsided. But it did finally and I was able to walk, gingerly.
Today my back is a little better. I was able to get on the treadmill for about 38 minutes, at a very slow pace, but I got on the dumb thing!!
I am so frustrated with injuries!! This past two years has been one thing after another! First it started off with the Hemi facial Spasms, which included months and months of doctors and tests. Then since last January I got a knee injury (still healing), chest wall contusion (healed), tennis elbow (still working on this one) and now my back.
It was strange...because just the other day I was thinking how "lucky" I was that nothing has happened to my back. I've always felt strong there. Hummm...wonder if I jinxed myself!
Anyway, I am truly at a loss as to why I keep getting these injuries. It's not like I'm doing stupid things and I'm getting what I deserve. No these things (the knee, chest wall and tennis elbow) were from exercise over use and now the back problem is from just moving my body.
I often think the reason I have bad experiences or times of trial is because my experience will eventually help someone else out. Because I've been there, I will be able to be more compassionate, understanding and an encouragement to others while they go through the same experience. Most of the time it is true and am able to help and most of the time I'm OK with this process.
However, for whom ever I'm going through this trial for, I wish you would get it, so I don't have to keep doing this!!
No really, this is probably for no other reason then I'm just getting old and I have to realize I still have 70+ extra pounds on this body and I'm just not ready to put it to test like I've been doing in the past. I really push too hard!!
Anyway, just as always, I'm not going to let this injury get me down. I mean, gosh...I know the drill...Anti inflammatory, rest, ice, heat, taking care of myself and time. I've done it all before, I will do it again!!!
What about you...are you staying injury free!! I hope so!!
Hey - word of warning!!!!! Just because a tiny chocolate santa looks innocent. Don't believe him!! I just ate 2 - 170 calories each!! Yikes!!
No really you have to keep focused ~ ON EVERYTHING!!!!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
What a great place to be for Christmas Day!! I have not been this weight for years!! Finally I think I can allow pictures taken of me without running from the room. Can't wait for the family to see me in my new outfit!!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
a: a center of activity, attraction, or attention...my example:
Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off and re~focus!!! Lets do what we have to do to make it through the holiday. Eat as clean a diet as you can, move your body ~ minimize the damage the best you can. I mean it is the holidays, but it does not mean you have to take big steps back. We can do this and maintain what we have accomplished this whole past year!!!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Yesterday I did something that I don't ever remember doing...
My sister was coming to my house for our annual Christmas cookie baking day. We usually make enough cookies for her friends and co-workers and for my friends, neighbors, co-workers and for the rest of the family. So that's a lot of cookies!
I got up at 6:00am and got started. First of all my house was a mess, I was wrapping presents so there was wrapping paper, ribbon and boxes everywhere. So I hurried and got that cleaned up. This year, we were baking sugar cookies, so my plan was to get the cookies baked before she got there, well most of them anyway. I thought I would get most of them done and then when she got there I would continue baking while she decorated. The next thing I needed to do was make lunch and finally I had to get to 3 stores.....all before 1:00pm.
I was doing pretty well until she called at 11:00 to let me know that she was leaving early and would be at my house at noon. ONE WHOLE HOUR EARLY!!!
Now I'm the kind of hostess that when I invite you to my house, everything is done so that we can just enjoy ourselves. I never want a guest, family or anyone, to come and see me cooking or cleaning while they are there. That just never happens!!
Her phone call sent me into a super ultra fast frenzy mode!!! At the point of her call, I was just finishing up my house stuff and I had most of the cookies baked and was getting ready to go to the store. So I put it in fast mode, got myself ready and was out the door. I was on the road and a couple of blocks away when I remembered I needed something from the house. So back I went. Then I was back on the road again and just got out of our neighborhood and remembered I forgot something really important and I went back again!
Can I tell you that by this time, I was a little stressed!!!
So I prayed and prayed to God to help me.....I prayed that at the first store, my favorite parking spot would be available, it's right next to the front door....Nope!!! It was full and I had to go to the big lot....So I ran to the store...Rushed in and one of their workers greeted me at the door and started to ask me if she could help, but I guess the look on my face said it all, because she just let me fly right on by!!!
I got my business done there and went to the next store, just praying they had everything I needed. I walked the entire store and did not find one thing I was looking for.....Then an answered prayer came and I saw the section I was looking for. It was really like a bright light came on and showed me the way. I was really excited!!! I got my stuff from there and went to my final destination. Again, I prayed for an up front parking spot. So I got closer to where I wanted to park and I see it, I saw MY SPACE...It's all mine....I'm in the clear.....It's MINE...and then...and then... and then.....this big ole SUV rushes in and takes my spot!!
Can I tell you....that made me MAD!!!!
So I get into the store and the next thing I know I'm in the car. You know I was in such a state that I don't really remember anything about my shopping experience...
Some how I got through the store, paid for my stuff and was in my car without me even realizing what was going on. The only thing I became aware of was a cheap bag of generic Cinnamon Bears. Dun Dun DUNNNNN!!!! (That's my dramatic music ~ Get it?)
Here's where the human part comes in and the part where this never happens to me (at least not in the last year)......I tore open that bag of Cinnamon Bears and stuffed them one after another into my mouth. I literally went from an out of my mind high stress, to a place of consciousness, an almost serene state, a place of peace in seconds!!! (Birds would be chirping at this moment) I could feel myself calm down. The Cinnamon Bears were like a crazy red squishy drug!!! Quite wonderful at the time!!!
After about 12 bears, I finally woke up and realized what I had done. I was shocked and embarrassed!! I wondered what others may have thought of this crazy women stuffing bears into her mouth...of course while I was doing this, everything and everybody were invisible. In my manic episode there was no one else around, cept me and my bears.....
Anyway, I recovered from that, raced home and started cooking my soup. My sister arrived while I was in the process of that and the rest of the house was a mess!!! Probably a little shocking to her, but it's not my fault...she was early!!
We ended up frosting 49 fancy cookies for her and did not even get mine done. All that work, all day long for her to take home her fancy little treats....Hummmmm!!!! (The music from Friday the 13th comes to mind)
Needless to say, I cleaned up a little after she left and sat in my hubby's chair, with my blankie and a movie. (Why do guys always have the best chair in the house?!?) Anyway, about 2 nano seconds later I was asleep. Hubby comes home from work a couple of hours later and the house is a disaster!!! Usually I would have had it all buttoned up and shining before he got home. I'm sure HE was a little shocked by what he walked into. Oh well!!!!
All this to say.....Are you taking care of yourself during this busy season? Obviously I did not take care of myself yesterday. Let me tell you that won't be happening again!!! I need to put myself first. Fortunately I did read my Bible, exercised and I ate good food ~Except for them bears ~ Ahem!
I thought I would list some things to think about and areas that might need some attention. Getting these things done may help smooth the rough patches in your day. Help you feel like you've accomplished something for yourself. Help you so things won't pile up and make you crazy. Those bears are always calling your name!!!
Here's some ideas.....
- Fix your boo boo's ~ Do you have hang nails and paper cuts on your hands? Get the ointment out and bandaids and take care of them today!! Hey how about some lotion? Not a bad idea to slather it on!!!
- Bills ~ Do they need to be paid? Get them done early, so you don't have to run around and get them paid later!!
- Laundry ~ Is it over flowing? Do one load at a time. Wash then fold. Don't do what I used to do...Wash a ton and then fold the mound. That is discouraging!!
- Gas in your car? Are you getting close to empty? Go now and get it filled up!!
- Injuries - Nurture them!!!
- Food out of whack ~ Take the time to plan your food. Don't hit the fast food drive thru - EVER!!!
- Exercise ~ Are you doing it? Keep your focus!! It really helps to relieve your stress!!!
- House Clean ~ Get everyone in your household to help!! Keep it picked up daily!!
- Work ~ Work as diligently as your can, don't let things pile up. Keep focused!!
- Pets in the house ~ If so, pet them, they are great stress relievers! Make sure to give them a bath if needed and a good brushing. They will love you for it!
- Give and get hugs ~ Makes you feel warm and squishy inside!!
- Time ~ Allow yourself some "YOU" time to rest, read, get a pedicure, maybe a massage. You need it!!
- Do old fashion stuff with your kids....string some popcorn, make paper chains, make ornaments, go caroling, bake...cookies...hum..., make candy, put on a Christmas play, visit someone in the hospital, visit your neighbor - get to know your neighbors, make things for people, let the kids send the Christmas cards. Just do it together, have some fun and enjoy this amazing season!
I almost cracked yesterday....Not a good thing! I know I am doing a lot of good things for myself, but obviously need to take a closer look at what I have on my schedule. Definitely over worked with too much to do. Not enough fun stuff!!
For the rest of the season, I'm looking at what's most important, cutting out the rest and I'm going to ENJOY myself!!
How about you? I would love to hear your comments on how you are doing!!!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
We used to go there almost weekly before I started my weight loss and fitness journey. Yesterday was a "Treat!?!", so I was excited to go. She always wants to sit in a booth, which prior to losing 54 pounds, would almost send me into a full blown tizzy....I was always scared that I would not fit!!!!
At my highest weight, I could fit ~ barely....with just enough room that I could breath!!
So yesterday, I approached the booth....held my breath...then slid in......and guess what???
With 5-6 inches to spare!!!
While I was enjoying this new freedom.....I looked around and saw others in the restaurant who
are in the same state I was last year. Stuffed into the booth....Boobs on the table....slopping stuff on their shirts.
OH...I JUST HATE THAT!!!!
I pray they will turn their lives around...get healthy...get fit and get that weight off!!!
So glad I did!!
I have a lot of weight still left to lose, but I'm focused and I'm going to get this done!!!
How about you....Are you doing it?
Friday, December 10, 2010
That's how I've been feeling for a while. Still fighting the Tennis Elbow ~ Going to physical therapy 2 times a week, and it still does not feel better. Now both knees are acting up. Having pain and a lot of popping and snapping! Then I got my first ever tension headache. Never had one before. My head feels like I have a tight cap on the back of my skull. Some times it feels like I have a face mask on. The pressure is intense!! No pain though...which is good, but the sensation of the pressure in my head feels horrible!!! Things feel cloudy and I feel disoriented. Not a fun thing!! Then finally, stress. I am so trying not to go there, but, unfortunately, I'm stressed!!!
We can do this!!!
Are you with me?
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
This particular window had a perfectly clear circle, and through that circle I saw a face. It was the face of a very round teenage boy. You see, this boy was sleeping and his head was tilted toward the window and as he breathed, he created enough warmth to clear the window of the frost. I have to tell you that the circle in the window was quite large. This was a very big boy. Very Big!!!
It sadden me so, as I drove away, I thought about that big boy in the window. I wondered what in the world his life must be like? Why would he want to get so big that he could not even take a ride on a school bus without falling into a deep, long sleep?
Now I know there may be many things that would cause a young person to do this. Maybe he stayed up all night studying or playing video games. Maybe his parents were fighting the night before or maybe he's homeless and this was the first warm place to sleep. Or maybe he was just too physically out of shape and exhausted by the extra weight he was carrying around.
I don't know....just made me feel really sad for that young man.
Then a couple days ago, I saw that same young man again. This time the school bus was waiting for him, holding traffic with the flashing red lights. He was walking or should I say shuffling toward the bus. Don't think I've ever seen a young person move so slow! He finally arrived to the bus and boarded. Seems we were waiting for him ~ forever! Once he was on board, it took more time, before the bus driver would turn off the red lights so we could go. You see, he had to make his way down the narrow aisle to his seat. Finally the red light turned off and we were ready to go.
I have thought about this boy so much. My heart breaks for him. I am sad his youth has been stolen by obesity. He probably does not know or can't remember what it's like to run, ride bikes, sit and play on the floor, play sports and just do the normal things kids do. Now he's facing dating, college and the rest of his life. Fat, barely able to move and/or stay awake!
What's it going to take for us to realize what's happening? For parents to intervene and help their kids, for us as adults to help ourselves to beat this monster of obesity? What's it going to take?
I am passionate about getting this weight off and helping others to do the same. Please know that I am not judging this young man or others like him. Believe me, I pray like mad for them and ask the Lord to intervene in their lives. I'm not judging him, can't judge him, because you see I was once that face in the window....
What are you doing today to make changes in your life and lives of your family? Are you making the right choices to change yourself and your family tree? Can we get this done? Can we change a nation? Can we help young people like my friend in the window?
I think we can!!!
Do whatever you can today, to reach your health and fitness goals. No matter what happens, and I mean what EVER happens. DO NOT QUIT!!! Keep focused!! Do it for yourself first, then your family and then others. We can do it!!!
Let's get this thing done!!!!
Are you with me?
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Me too!!! So busy...but I'm focused!!!!
During this busy season, be sure to keep close to your health and fitness plan.
Put yourself first!
Get your exercise....
Plan healthy meals....and eat them!!!
Drink plenty of water....
GET YOUR REST!!!!!
We can go through Christmas and New Year's strong, losing no momentum, losing weight, and getting fit.....if we just stay focused!!!
Lets finish this year strong!!!
We can do it!!!
Are you with me?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
For the first time in my life, I went to a dance class. Well it was a cardio dance class, kind of like Zumba. This teacher was AWESOME and I had a blast!!! She had me doing moves that would make my grandmother roll over in her grave!!
Anyway, I did my best and was able to keep up for the most part. There were only a couple moves that I could not figure out, but I am very....very....very determined to master moving my body to the groove.
The class was so fun and so totally out of my comfort level. To me I think I looked like a hip grandma shakin' her groove thang, but mostly others probably thought I was a mess. I did not care!! Oh and by the way, I was the largest person in the class!! Did mind it at all!!
The other fun thing is the class sparked a sassy part of me and got me to thinking about my wardrobe. I remembered that I had a sassy black skirt that I could not previously wear. I dug it out and tried it on. It fit beautifully!! Then I matched it with a tight fitting black sweater and accessorised it with a beautiful red scarf, tights and cute shoes. I look SASSY!!!
I love the way everything feels. The tight fitting clothes feel great ~ No more yards of fabric to deal with. I love the swishy skirt. Makes me feel fun, cute, sexy (oh....that is so funny!!) and just plain Sassy!!
I would highly recommend doing something that puts a little spice and sass back into your life! It's great fun!!!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Unfortunately I was unable to wait. For the past month or so, my right elbow has been causing me some trouble. It hurts right on the bone that sticks out. Well you can finally see mine, no more fat there!! Anyway, the pain kind of gradually increased to now, if I bump it, it almost sends me through the roof.
I suspected I had Tennis Elbow and wrote to my doctor to see if she could give me a home remedy. And wisely, she said I had to go see her for an official diagnoses. Bummer!
So off I went...I'm sitting there waiting for her, anticipating her response to my new found health and fitness and she finally flies into the room and says, "Well, stand up and give me a twirl." Which I happily did. She gushed on and on and said how proud she was of me. We talked a little bit about my goals and my blood pressure which has not gone down. Perplexing...I thought with weight loss and exercise I'd see improvement. Not the case at this point.
After her thorough examination she said, "Well doc...you had the right diagnoses...you have Tennis Elbow." Bummer.....
So she's shipping me off to my friend, the physical therapist!! We are quite familiar with each other....
After my doc gave me the official diagnoses, I said, "I've had 3 exercise overuse injuries in eleven months....knee, chest wall contusion and now Tennis Elbow....What's up with that?"
She said, "Well what you are doing is a whole lot better than getting...sitting on your butt, watching TV injuries. Those lead to death!"
So I have a choice to make. I can be bummed out because I have to take the time and money to get my wing fixed. And/or I can turn back to my old ways and just give up ~ I mean I have more parts I can injure, if I give up now, I would have less chances of having more injuries? Save me the trouble!!!
Or I can buck up...get to my Physical Therapy and do everything they say to do. And I can continue to strengthen my body (to hopefully prevent more injuries) and keep pushing through!!!
I chose the latter. I'm gonna fight through this thing. I gonna get to that finish line. I don't care what it takes!!
How about you...are you fighting through injuries. If so, keep focused!!!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Here are my answers to Kimberlynn's four questions.
1. Once you hit goal, are you worried about gaining the weight back? Why or why not?
No, because what I'm doing I can do for the rest of my life. I did not start a new diet, I changed my lifestyle ~ FOREVER!
2. What is your favorite vegetable and how do you prepare it? I love a lot of vegetables, but if I have to choose one....it's cooked carrots. I cook them until they are just soft, then I add a smidgen of butter and I mean a smidgen, then salt & pepper. Real simple, but they taste like candy to me. Oh and I also love, love, love beats!! YUM!!!
3. How does blogging help or hinder your weight loss efforts? I love talking to people, getting ideas and sharing what's going on in my life. Sometimes I put too much time into my blog and neglect other things or even my health. There have been nights that I stay up too late to get caught up on reading blogs and then I'm too tired to function the next day. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS BEHAVIOR!!! . What, if anything, are you giving yourself as a reward once you've reached goal? I am working for a Charm Bracelet from Tiffany's. It cost around $400 or so. I would never, ever buy something like this for myself. So when I get it, and I will, it will be a treasured gift, because I know how much effort and sweat went into getting this prize!
Now, here are four new questions...
1. What has been the most difficult thing for you to overcome in losing weight?
2. What's your favorite form of exercise, how often do you workout, and how long do your workouts take?
3. Do you take time to pamper yourself, and if so, how?
4. If you could change only one bad habit, what would it be and why?
Finding the thin within
For Real, This Time!
Hello, to the real me
More Love per Square Inch!
I don't think I followed Kimberlynns instructions, oh well. Have fun with this!!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Since then, that phrase has been bugging me...
I've had it on a little Post It Note in my schedule book and I see it everyday. I just keep shuffling it around all of the other "important" stuff I have to do. Every time I see it, I'm like, "Not today, can't face it", and I reshuffle it back to the bottom.
Well today, is the day ~ I'm going to face it. No longer am I going to push it back under the other things, that are "less" important than this one phrase. Now I have a burning passion to really look at this and analyze it ~ Once and for all....
And that phrase is....
"Do you have a story in your head about why you can't lose weight and achieve your health and fitness goals?"
Oh boy, do I have stories....I have some real ones that I've lived with for almost 45 years. Mostly the self talk of why I can't goes way back to my childhood - I have to tell you I am far from that time - no need to hang on to those stories anymore!! And I have made up some stories, some real whoppers, to keep me safe from doing the work I need to do to really reach my potential of what I was created to do. Easier to hide behind a ton of weight ~ no risk there, than it is to put myself out in the world and achieve what I'm SUPPOSED to do.
Do I really need to list all of my stories of why I can't do this? Do I really need to or want to drudge them up, once again...validate them again...relive them again? NO! I don't have to do that. You could probably write mine. I'm guessing we have a lot of the same ones!
Let me just list a few.....
I'm not worthy...
I don't deserve to be healthy...
My mom/dad did not like me...
I was molested as a child...
My parents got divorced...
My husband left me...
I'm not loved...
I'm not lovable...
My husband tells me.....
I don't have the support I need...
If I lose weight, I might not remain faithful to my spouse...
My husband likes me fat....(REALLY?)
I don't deserve it....
I'm too busy...
I can't do it...
I'm not that big...
If I do get healthy, I will be expected to do more...
I don't think I look so bad...
Fat Grandma's / Grandpa's are better...
I really like my armor of fat, I feel protected...
Being overweight is not a BIG DEAL...
I'm too embarrassed to go to the gym...
I don't look so bad...(At 274 pounds there were times when I felt tiny - WHAT A LIE!!!)
I don't know how to lose weight...
I don't have the energy...
There are so many more stories I could list. But you know your story. You know what you're thinking. You know what you're holding on to and what's keeping you from achieving you health and fitness goals. I know mine!
The thing that I've been thinking about and what is bugging me is ~ Is my story true? Do I really believe it? Is it reality? Do I really want to hang on to it for one more minute?
NO!! My story is a lie!!!! I'm holding myself back! There is no compelling reason why I can't get this done. There is nothing in my way...nothing but me!!!
It is time for me to face this issue. It's time for me to put my old story away. I need to rethink the way I think about myself and I need to change my story ~ Forever!!
How about you? Do you need to change your story?
Don't forget to check out my guest post at Sarah's blog!!!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Be sure to follow her, you won't be sorry!! Sarah, is a wonderful person! She has lost over 100 pounds. She's healthy and fit and runs 5k's . She is such an inspiration to me!!! You will be Blessed to know her!!!
My post is scheduled to run tomorrow. My topic is about...Making the Holidays about People not about food.
Check it out!!
Oh yeah....and KEEP FOCUSED!!!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I'm taking care of myself!!!
Things have been nuts around here!!! A couple of weeks ago, I got this crazy idea, that I should bake and decorate cookies for the Portland Rescue Mission, as a Thanksgiving gift to the homeless and less fortunate people of our city.
When I had a meeting with our church group leaders and the leaders of the mission, they thought it was a FANTASTIC idea and they asked if I could make enough for all of the people who will come to the mission on Thanksgiving Day. And I said "yes". Ahem..."and how many would that be?"
Oh....about 500 people!!!
Can I just say YIKES!!!
Originally I thought I would make them myself....but the wise wisdom of my team and my hubby and of course God (who knew I could not do this on my own) decided I needed help.
So this has been a week long process. Last Monday I made 33 batches of dough, then last Thursday, I spent my holiday, at our church, rolling, cutting and baking the cookies. Fortunately I had 4 fantastic helpers and we whipped em out in no time at all.
Then the big day came....Saturday. There were four of us and we piped the edges of the cookies (which is basically creating a dam for the runny frosting), then we flooded the cookies (with the runny frosting) and then we put decorative swirls on each one. We were able to complete 320 cookies that day. Whew!!!!
Then Sunday we were scheduled to complete the rest. Unfortunately, one of my helpers cancelled and the other helper had been with me through the whole process and was looking a little peaked by this time. In addition, she's planning on preparing and serving 80 people for Thanksgiving (for the step up group from the mission). I could tell she was starting to unravel, so I told her I would finish it up myself.
No sweat right?
Well....Sunday, I bagged and put ribbon on all of the finished cookies ~ all 320 of them!! And then I piped, flooded and swirled about 80 more!!
Then Monday, I was back at it and bagged and tied ribbons on the 80 I did on Sunday and last night I frosted 44 more. And finally tonight I will bag em!!
I did not quite make my 500 cookie goal. But I think it's what God wanted us to have and I'm happy with what we got accomplished!!!
Hey, I did not really know how this was going to come around to weight loss, but here's something that just occurred to me.
Since January 2010, I have set two goals. The first one was, I wanted to lose 60 pounds from January to the first of September ~ for our sons wedding. Well, I did a great job, I put in a ton of focus and I really worked it, but I came up 10 pounds short of my goal.
Then after that goal, I decided that I needed to set a new goal. So I announced here, to everyone, that I wanted to lose 20 more pounds by Christmas.....
I have lost 3 so far and I have a month to go. I don't think I'm going to make this goal. "Sniff!"
Part of me wants to stop setting goals. I'm mean what's the point, can't achieve them anyway. Can't even do it with the cookies.
But here's what is just coming to me. I think it's necessary to set goals. I need something to focus on, to strive for. Then I need to do the work, do the best I can and then some. And then the rest is really up to God.
I was disappointed that I did not hit the first goal. But it did not stop me from feeling great at my sons wedding. He was so proud of me!!
I am disappointed that I did not get 500 cookies made. But you know that I have worked myself as hard as I can to get this done. Not to mention that I've worked a full time job, had family over to my house one day, gone to church and helped serve there...And I've kept my eating and calories under control, got my water in, exercised all week and got to bed on time each night. Did not let the stress of this whole thing take me down. I did what I had to do, but I also took care of myself!!! I put myself first!!!!
I am really proud of what I got done. I know that there will be just enough cookies for all of the people who come through the line for their Thanksgiving meal. I trust God, he knows exactly what we need. I trust that he won't disappoint those who need a little extra love!
So for this Christmas goal of losing 20 pounds.....Probably not gonna make it. But I'm going to give it my all, I'm going to keep pushing and keep focused on this goal. Who knows, I might just make this one happen!!
How are you doing during this busy season. Are you focused???
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
This is what the week looks like so far. The celebration started yesterday with goodies at work and dinner and movies with hubby, I don't have any anticipated goodies coming in today, hubby is making a special dinner for tomorrow and I have a couple of lunch dates scheduled for next week - Phew!!
My strategy is....Just because it's a special day or time, it does not give me license to abandon my plan!! My strategy is...I am staying focused!!
So far I have had success and here's what made the difference for me ~ careful planning.
Yesterday was the start of the celebration and this is what I knew ahead of time. We were going out to dinner and a movie.
So I got up and did my usual time on the Treadmill, except this time, I added an extra 10 minutes and ran a little. Made sure I burned at least 200 calories...Then I planned my usual breakfast, snacks and lunch, not knowing that there would be birthday pumpkin bars at work. So instead of bowing out of this delicious goodness. I googled the calories, for the pumpkin bars, and replaced one of my snacks. I was totally happy and excited that I could still indulge in my birthday treat, fit it into my plan and have it without guilt!!
Then it was off to dinner. I tried to google the restaurants menu calories, but nothing was listed. So I relied on what I know. Instead of ordering a fat juicy steak or a huge pasta bowl, I opted out for the grilled halibut, veggies and no bread. It also came with about a 1/2 cups of pasta. I tried to resist, but it was just too wonderful! The flavors of everything together was amazing! Then of course, they found out it was my BD so they served a complimentary Creme Brulee. Now normally I would not be happy to do this, I would want my own, but I decided to share my delicious sugar with my hubby. He got the lions share of this deliciousness, but what I was able to get to my mouth was amazing!!!
After dinner, we were off to the movies. For the first time in my life, I went to the movie theater without buying popcorn, soda, or candy. It felt great to be satisfied and filled up enough, that not even the smell of the popcorn was enticing enough for me to overindulge!
Here's what happened next. So hubby and I are sitting in our seats in the theater. We are not eating or drinking anything. (Well I did smuggle in some bottled water ~ I know....bad, bad girl!!) Anyway, we are sitting there, the previews had not started yet, and all we could hear was paper ripping, chomping and chewing all around us. It was the most disgusting sound ever! Then the smell of popcorn, not the good popcorn smell, but this, I don't even know what you call it smell, came over the room ~ it was awful. I had to cover my nose with my shirt to help keep me from wanting to hurl. So I am sitting there looking ridiculous and I'm observing the people all around me. They were talking and drinking and cramming their popcorn and candy into their mouths so fast, it make my head spin. Hey I'm not judging....I used to be just like them. But as the outsider of this thing, looking in, it was gross and disgusting. Hubby and I both noticed this and were wondering how we had never noticed this before. I said, it was because we were just like them. We did the same thing. We were so busy with it, we did not even notice what we were doing or how we looked to others. Kind of like when you eat garlic with your spouse, you can't smell it on each other. But if one person eats it and one doesn't, it is offensive to the other person. Know what I mean?
Anyway, the group finally ingested their goodies and the theater quited down. It was a great movie and hubby and I had a fantastic time!!
Here's the real point. It's a celebration week. Yes, there are foods coming at me, some expected, some not. But each day I plan to do what I usually do ~ Keep meals within my calorie range, allow a smidgen of indulgence, continue exercising and getting my water in. Status Quo!
And you know what. If you stay on your plan, you will get your reward. My reward came to me today with another pound lost. I'm at 221!!!
I am finding that life can still happen and I can still lose weight!! The key is careful planning and staying focused!!!
What about you....Are you still losing weight during your celebrations?
Friday, November 5, 2010
All during the months of September and October I have been fluctuating between 225 & 224 pounds. I've done a ton of things right and made some mistakes. Attitude was kind of frantic and frustrated. Just a couple of days ago, I decided to change that attitude. I decided to just do what I know to do, keep fighting the good fight and look what happened.....The scale moved!!!!
Am I fired up ~ YOU BET!!!
Got to go, I have a date with my Treadmill!!!
What about you...have you changed your attitude?
Thursday, November 4, 2010
That's what's happening to me, again!!
I don't know what happens in life, but it seems you go from a child to a teenager, so full of expectation and excitement for life. I remember thinking I could do anything I wanted to do and felt like I could conquer the world. Then I got married at 18 and had 2 kids by the time I was 22. Then the next 27 years of my life, I filled my time with being a wife and a mother.
How about you.....do you "Think" you can't do things? If so, change your ATTITUDE!!!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Not ~ I am feeling many of those things....
Monday, November 1, 2010
Starting weight ~ 274 / BMI 47 (Morbidly Obese)
As of 11/01/10 ~ 224 / BMI 38.4 (Severely Obese)
19 Total Inches Lost
Chest - lost 4.5 inches
Waist - lost 5 inches
Hips - lost 4 inches
Right Arm - lost 2 inches
Right Leg - lost 3.5 inches
Would I love to be further along in this journey ~ YOU BET!!! But I have learned to love every baby step toward great health and fitness!! I don't take anything for granted!!!
Just a couple of things I have got to do this year...things I never thought I could do!!!
Now for the 10k info.....This was my first one. Now mind you, this was a "Run"...Not really a walking event. However they allowed people to participate, even if they only wanted to walk. So out of the 20 - 25 of us who walked (cuz I could see them all - the rest of the pack left us) I finished at 1126 out of 1139. My official time was 1 hr 41 minutes!!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
It was such a surreal night. It was like everything around me was foggy. Well it was really foggy weather wise, so this could be part of it. But what I mean is, the regular, every day things I saw looked hazy, foggy and just out of my normal sight. But the things of an obese nature were life sized and up front. Bigger than life!
Here's what I mean....
First thing I noticed were the cheerleaders. They were your typical teen aged all American girls. All thin and of normal size except one. This one girl was quite large, fat really!! Poor thing, here she was in her cheerleader outfit, stuffed like a sausage. Every time she did a move or a cheer, she had to pull her shirt down, adjust her skirt, and pull fabric from her rolls. She looked awkward and uncomfortable. I felt so bad for her.
Wait a minute....stop the presses. I was that girl!!
I was always the fat one in the group. Still am the fat one. Unfortunately there are a lot more of us now. But when I was a kid, there was only one other fat girl in my class. It was awful!!! I remember thinking how great it would be if there were more fat people and less skinny people. Well we're living that right now folks! Sorry I don't think it's better. I hate being just like so many people I see, I don't want any of us to fat and unhealthy!! I want us all to get fit!!!
I would say that 80% of the people on the bleachers all around me were over weight or obese, including my chubby self ~ no judgement here!!! In my foggy state, all I can see is chubby hand and faces and food being shoveled into gaping mouths. It was like, when you go to the movies and everybody is trying to cram in all their food before the movie begins. They were shoveling it in ~ FAST!!! I prayed several times that the team would not score another touch down or make a good play, because every time they did, everyone would stand up and cheer. Each time they did this, I felt the flooring of the aluminum bleacher buckle and sway. I was truly afraid it would collapse under the weight!!! (I'm usually not a fraidy cat, but this was frightening!!!)
One lady I was mesmerized by. She was a non stop...popcorn eating machine. Then it was potato chips and then some other things I could not see. It was almost like she could not stop herself.
Wait wait....reality check....I was that woman!!!
There have been a zillion times I was just like her. Could not get food into my mouth quick enough! Never satisfied, always wanting more!!! Insatiable hunger, a bottomless pit! That was me!!
Then something happened on the field that warranted the coaches to run out to talk to the players. One of the coaches was soooo fat, he could barely walk. I was wondering to myself, how effective is he with his team, when he talks about the nutrition needed to do what they do? Or how can he encourage his team to be diligent about the running and weight lifting needed to do the job? Or how can he explain passion and the importants of all of the components of this game, when he has personally lost his passion for doing the important things in his life?
How credible is he? Can he really make a difference in these young men's lives when he obviously does not take care of himself?
Pardon me......Ahem.....I am that man!!!
Where do I get off, telling anybody, anything about being fit and healthy? What do people think of me when they see me waddling down the street? What about at a restaurant ~ is what I order and eat being scrutinized and judged? What about the young people at work, the ones I lead....how credible am I? Can I really make a difference in their lives?
I am just like every fat person out there. No way I can hide what I've done to myself. I am judged, left out, made fun of, thought less of, taken advantage of.....yet I still do what I do.
I am that cheerleader, that woman and that coach!!!
It's a new day my friends. A hard one for many!! I know, I know....it's a day of celebration. But before you stick you hand in that candy jar or pick up that cookie....Remember we were people obsessed with food and junk.
BUT NOT ANY MORE!!!
We are not the same people we were last year. We aren't the same!!! We are on a new journey of health and fitness. And one day at a time ~ we are going to get to the goal!! We are going to be the people that God created us to be. We are no longer outsiders looking into to things. We are making things happen and making a difference in this world. We are changing our family tree. We are breaking the chains of obesity ~ One day at a time!!
Keep focused my friends ~ WE are making it happen!!