Thursday, September 29, 2011

Leap of Faith

A few months ago, my 3 1/2 year old Grand Daughter got a new trike. It's pink, very sturdy and cute! She was so excited to get on it....when it was in the house!! When we got outside, donned with her helmet, getting on that thing was another matter!

After some coaxing and persuading, we finally got her on the trike. I can so picture her sitting on it with her happy and triumphant face. So adorable!!

Then you could see her countenance change when she realized that she now had to do something...Something she's never done before...Something that might be fun, but she's not sure because she's never done it before. You could see that she really wanted to, I mean she wanted to please her parents and grand parents who were so happy for her and encouraging her to do this really big thing. She was excited....But!!!

After some time, she made several attempts at trying to ride the trike. Could not quite coordinate the peddles and handle bars and all of the various instructions and encouragement that was directed towards her.  And after a short time, in a moment of frustration, she started to cry and wanted off of that trike. She quit!

Today...she's a wild woman on her trike!! She peddles super fast, lets her Papa (my Hubby) ride on the back, and she even rode down a fairly large hill while we were camping!! Scared me to death!

So amazing what time, confidence  and a little faith will do!!!

I am really  curious as to what happened that made her decide that she wanted to ride that trike. What pivotal thing happened? What decisions did she have to make to even try? What fears did she have to put aside to be able to do this amazing thing?

I want to know these things.....

Because I'm at that moment!

In my weight loss and fitness journey and in my life....I've stuck my foot out and tried to do some things. I got my toe wet....I kind of liked it, but when the waters got rough, I pulled my foot back, turned my back on life and kept myself protected...Fear and trepidation have set in and made themselves at home.

Right now....I'm tired of this....I'm ready to move on....

Maybe that's what happened for my Grand Daughter....Maybe she just got tired of not being able to do what she really wanted to do. I can't really find out how it all happened for her, but I'm guessing....She faced her FEARS!!! Took a LEAP OF FAITH...and got on that trike. I'm sure she struggled a little, but I'm guessing after a short time, she found success and simply started to ride!!

So that's it....I'm ready!

For today...I'm going to push aside my fears and I'm going to do plunge into this life. I'm going to start living like I want to fly down a hill on my the seat of my pants....on the edge of my seat!!! No more sitting back, protecting myself and staying safe. It's time to live!!

How about you...Are you with me?

Keep focused!

This is one of my daily devotions today...

Risk Your Life, Get More Than You Dream

by Jon Walker

“He replied, 'I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away.'” (Luke 19:26 NIV)

Jesus once told the story of a master who gave three servants each a sum of money to handle while he was away. When he returned, the first servant told the master he’d doubled the money through investments, and the second said he’d made fifty percent profit for the master.

But the third servant, in essence, said he’d been afraid the master would punish him for making mistakes, so he hid the money in the cellar until the master returned.

The master rewarded the first two servants, saying those who handle small matters well will be given greater responsibility. But he rebuked the third servant, saying, “Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of. Play it safe and end up holding the bag” (Luke 19:26 MSG).

In order to live a life of faith, we must take risks. Not just any kind of risks, but ones that are specifically directed by God. These God-nudges push us beyond the border of our “State of Independence,” where we live by sight, into the “State of Grace,” where we live by faith.

As Pastor Rick often says, when we do not live by faith, we live faithlessly. Any decision independent of God is a faithless decision. Jesus calls you to risk your life for God, but he also guarantees that God will always be waiting for you on the other side of each and every step of faith you take.

God is for you. He says, “Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of.”

What step of faith is God asking you to take today?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Are you running?

So many times in my life, I've been told things I need to do....things I must do for myself and it's usually things I don't want to hear. Many times, I've close my ears and ran away from the information that might benefit my life. I'm just too stubborn to be told what to do...

I've known people who do this....I shared the other day that I had a friend who was whining about being fat and I told her that I would be happy to help her and maybe even be her accountability partner....The minute and I do mean the minute she could break away from me, she literally ran out of the building. She could not get away from me fast enough. Obviously she did not want my help! She ran away!

Have you even done that?

I do it!

Why do we do that?

For years and years my mom told me, to lose weight, I needed to take in less calories and move more....I bet I've heard that for 40 years and I refused to listen to her. Well first of all, it just seemed too simple....I mean to lose weight, I always felt like I had to do more, complicate it, make it HARD to get it to work. Not anything so simple as eating less and moving more....

But for me that's what it takes. (Now I know there is more to this, there's the emotional side of things, hormones, stress etc) I get it, but the bottom less and move more!

I heard yesterday....again someone giving me advise that I don't want to hear....and I totally want to run away from this advise and not accept it and that physical therapist told me that it may take 8 weeks for my back to heal....Well I just don't want to hear that. I don't want to spend 2 more seconds being denied what I want to do and that is I want to move this body, I want to strengthen it and get it in shape so I can row! Remember I want to go to the Senior World Olympics when I turn 50....

And dang it....It seems every time I get close to doing this, I get an injury. First time I was committed to doing it I got sick and they thought I was having a stroke - it took 5 months for them to finally diagnose me with Hemi Facial Spasms. Then I had the chest wall contusion, knee problems, tennis elbow and now my back. (All of these injuries in the past year and a half)

Shouldn't there be a limit on how many injuries one must suffer? I think I've had my fill!!! Sick of it!

Anyway...I guess, I'm not going to run away from this....I'm going to put my focus on  getting stronger, doing every thing they say to do and I'm taking these 8 weeks and I'm going to get well!

I will row ~ ~ one day!!

No more running!! I'm going to face what is, do what I need to do and reach for my goals!!

How about you do you run away?

Keep focused!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Mini Challenge

OK summer is over and fall is here....we have just 5 days until October. How about we do a mini challenge....

I need to focus....

This week this is what I will do....

  • Exercise daily
  • Drink 100+ oz of water
  • Calories under 1700
  • Blog daily
Are you with me?

Keep focused!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Brokenness to RESTORATION / / Fitness Challenge Info

Yesterday I saw something that really affected me the whole day. I could not stop thinking about it.

This whole thing reminded me of how I once was...

We have some friends who owned a home that had been in the wife's family for decades. It was beautiful inside and out. The grounds were magnificently groomed, they were park like, with cement picnic benches, bird baths, exquisite florals in all colors and varieties and the most lovely trees. This property also had a pool, which I coveted and it had the most magnificent view of the valley below. It truly was breath taking!! A place where you knew God's hand was right there sculpting it and loving it to perfection. It kind of looked like this on the outside..... 

On the inside this couple put around $70,000 of upgrades that included granite counter tops, plush carpeting, rich paint and beautiful fixtures. It truly was a gorgeous home.

Unfortunately, this couple who were also beautiful on the outside, had a lot of problems, on the inside ~ within themselves and their marriage. And after a few short years, they were divorced and needed to sell the property. Due to the depressed real estate market this property, has been on the market for a couple of years, in fact it's still for sale to this day. 

Yesterday we drove by and got a glimpse of what poor choices, brokenness and neglect can do to things and to people.....

Today this is what the house looks like... (this is not the home, but it looks like this)....

Can I say.... devastating! As we were driving to the property we almost missed it....there was nothing left that reminded me of the once beautiful home except for the swimming pool. If that had not been there, there would have been nothing to remind me of what it once was.

The worse part is the wife has left the state and no one has heard from her and the husband turned back to his old ways and is using drugs again.

This is what going your own way ~ off the path, brokenness and neglect can do....

This is how I ended up a year and a half ago. Broken, lost, fat ~~ not just fat, but morbidly obese, out of control and losing my life.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.....

I was created lovingly by my creator and was once lovely and perfect in His eyes and of course in my parents eyes. As life battered on and the waves of situations and circumstances hit me, my beautiful exterior began to fade and as I allowed this to happened to me and being most neglectful, I soon began to look unlike the once beautiful person I was meant to be. I'm not talking talking just about outward beauty, but also the inside part of how I thought about myself and lived my life. I was not living like someone who was taking care of herself.....I was more like on a crash course to destroying myself. Most positive that was not God's plan for my life!

I was slovenly, disrespectful, negligent, abusive, hateful and just plan ugly to myself. I did not care what happened to me or my body. I allowed it to become dilapidated, broken, stretched out and almost unusable. And how I thought about myself....well I almost imploded on myself.

Thank goodness there is hope!! And restoration!!!! And a way out!!!! The Lord finally opened my eyes before it was too late and I began a journey that has changed my life! 

With some simple changes (some not so simple - but doable), focus and time I am being transformed from a broken down mess into the woman that God had in mind. I am rising up! I am living life!! I am being restored!!

How about you...Where are you on this journey?

Now on to the Fitness Challenge....

Fitness Challenge ~ ~ I am quite sure that Jessica will kick my butt this week again!!!!!.....

Workout Summary:

Monday: Total 45 minutes ~ Weights

                      30 minutes - Stretching

Tuesday: Total 20 minutes - Stretching

Wednesday: Total 20 minutes - Stretching

Thursday: Total 40 minutes - Treadmill
                         20 minutes - Stretching

Friday: Total 46 minutes - Treadmill
                     20 minutes - Stretching
Saturday: Total 0 minutes

Sunday: Total 20 minutes - Stretching

Weekly Total: 4 Hr 21 minutes   (261 mins)

Work Out Reflection
Getting better every day. My back is healing and I'm able to do more - Yeah!!!

Work Out Goals for This Week
Continue on with physical therapy and stretching and get back to my normal classes.

Keep focused!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

More Honesty

I don't know what's come over me...But I feel like I need to confess....

My weight loss ticker is off....I'm not 208 pounds right now.....I'm finally back to 210 pounds. I was holding at 215 pounds for a while and even saw 218 when I reweighed myself one day (I'm sure I had on super heavy clothes.....Ahem)

Whew....glad that's off my chest! I will not be changing my weight loss ticker...can't be spending the time doing that, because it won't be saying 208 pounds for long.....The scale is moving!! Five pound weight loss!! Woo hoo!!!

The other thing I needs to confess.....

I've been reading blogs today and I see a lot of hurting, struggling, frustrated people out there. And according to my Hubby and Daughter....I've been kind of one of those people. Here I'm thinking I super positive and uplifting in my posts and they both said I've been kinda whiny on my blog and in real life.....Oh that hurts!

My Daughter told me..."You first whine...then you encourage with something positive." She said, "What I want to see is RESULTS."


What I'm hearing is....Stop talking about it, stop thinking about it, stop wondering about it, STOP WHINING ABOUT IT...... JUST DO IT!!!

So I took the criticism and made some changes and they worked!

I really put in effort and focus this week and the results are coming in!

How about you....Are you making things happen?

Keep focused!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Lets be HONEST!!!!

I have been messing around with this weight loss and fitness thing since January 2010. I've had some success, down 66 pounds so far! I've also had some set backs, but thankfully despite it all, I'm still plugging a long.

That's the thing...I'm pluggin'.....

Weight loss is so slow for me. It's frustrating!

Here's my story....

I'm doing all "they" tell me to do and I do what I know is best for me...I'm exercising (when not injured), I'm journaling my food, I'm drinking water, I have a good attitude...yada yada yada!

But the scale is hardly moving....

I want to tell you that "I just don't know why this is happening to me. I'm doing EVERYTHING I can..." But the reality's simple.....I'm still eating waaaay more than I need to, to lose weight! That's my reality!!!

So I decided to do a little research and went to my favorite source Google! I put in the following words in the search bar...."How many calories for 208 pound body". The first source that comes up was:

Calorie Calculator

So I plug in my info and I found that to maintain my weight at 208 pounds, I need to consume 2527 calories.

It also told me....

To lose one pound per week, you might decrease your required calories by 500 per day.
(-500 calories X 7 days per week = -3500 calories)

Interesting....because my food journal says that I'm averaging around 2000 per day.....You know what that means? I'm fudging!!!

That is the REAL truth!! I'm fudging....I'm a fudger!!!! I can't say anymore that I don't know why things are not happening...why the scale is not moving....Can't say that anymore because I know the truth and that is I'm simply eating way too many calories and obviously I'm not recording everything I eat. I can't fool myself. This is fact!!! It is!!!

So my BRILLIANT Friend Jessica is after me! We started doing a Fitness Challenge together that has really helped me stay focused on my fitness goals. Unfortunately with this back thing she's smokin' me on the challenge, but I will be back soon.....Heh heh heh Jess watch out!

Then after some time and I guess with all of my whining about not losing weight, she suggested we exchange food journals.

Ahhhhh what? 

To me that's like standing in the middle of a crowd naked.....Why...I can't show my journal....Well for crying out loud, my dirty little secrets would be revealed. Well fortunately for me, not all my secrets are secrets because the reality is....I'm not doing all I can and I've been revealed by having no weight loss. So I could not really hide from what I'm doing.....But to share my journal.....Well that's really EXPOSING my deeds!!!

So I had a choice to make. I could blow her off and give excuses why I could not join with her and be accountable to her....Or I could be a big girl, put my big girl panties on, suck it up and share the good and the bad of what I'm really doing....

So what did I do?

Run like a coward?

Nope....I sent it to her and have done so each day! 


You know when you expose yourself to others, or should I say open yourself up to others, it really puts a spot light on you.  By doing what I'm doing and sharing this part of my journey with my friend, do you think that I think first before I put something into my mouth? YOU BET I DO!! I really can't lie about what I'm doing, my body will tell on not losing weight. So I have incentive to be honest and truthful with what I'm doing and oh....I need to make some changes and eat less!! There is just no way around it!!

Just like I'm counting every minute of exercise I do so I can beat Jessica and the other challengers in the Fitness Challenge, I am also motivated and accountable to Jessica and myself to keep my diet clean.  I want that scale to MOVE!!!

Now I am expecting some results to come in...I am now TRUTHFULLY doing the work!!!

Yesterday I had a friend who was whining about her weight. I told her what I've been doing and I asked her if she would like to get together and be accountability partners.... As soon as she got a break from me, she literally ran out the door.  WOW!!! It's scary and hard to be accountable, but I feel it's a great way for me to get my stuff out in the open. That way I can really see what I'm doing. Helps me to also make improvements where needed and it helps motivate me to stop procrastinating and to get to work!!

Are you truthful with what you are doing? Do you have an accountbility partner?

Keep focused!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Went to the physical therapist for my back. During the examination, she would ask me to do certain things. After I did it she would kind of giggle (under her breath). She did this many times! Finally the examination was over, and I was thinking, I had a nut case for a therapist and she finally says...."Well you are probably wondering why all the giggling." And I said, "Yes, I'm curious..." ~ Secretly wondering if I should run away!! She said, "Well, you are quite strong and you totally put me to shame." I told her of my exercise and activity level and she giggled again and said she wished that I worked for the company she works for because they are having a fitness challenge and she wanted me on her team. (Well she would not want me now....still having trouble walking and I'm not doing well with my own fitness challenge) But hey, I know, when I'm better, I will be right back at it. Anyway, it was an encouraging time talking with her. She gave me my stretch info and just a few restrictions in the gym. So I'm happy!

Went to the gym later that afternoon to work with my trainer. We were very happy to see each other! After some time, my trainer informed me that she's 12 weeks pregnant....with twins!! She is very excited, except one of her babies is not doing well. PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM ~ Baby B (She knows he's a boy!) I had a great workout with her. It was fun being back at the gym! back REALLY hurts! Woke up in the night with pain. So frustrating! I feel like I went backwards a little. Anyway, I am going to do all I can to get this taken care of. Dang it, I want to beat Jessica in the Fitness Challenge. She's been kicking our butts for weeks!!!

That's it for now! Take care my Friends....Do all you know to do...Work your plan and stay focused!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Feeling like somethings happenin'

Today I feel like I have a fresh new start....

My 2 week vacation is over...

My gym's 2 week maintenance break is over...

I'm going to physical therapy for my back today...

I'm going to my trainer (It's been about a month!)...

I feel rested...

I have a plan for my food today...

I'm ready for success!!!

How about you...Are you ready?

Keep focused!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pluggin Along!

Yesterday I had a fabulous day! I ended up not having the MRI's, as my insurance company did not get in the authorizations needed to get them done. Kind of glad because I had a wonderful stay at home day and got lots done. I'm kind of sad too because I would really like to know what's going on...I guess I will have to wait!

Fitness Challenge ~ ~ I am quite sure that Jessica will kick my butt this week.....

Workout Summary:

Sunday: Total 0 Minutes

Monday: Total 35 minutes ~ Treadmill

Tuesday: Total 30 minutes - Treadmill

Wednesday: Total 0 minutes

Thursday: Total 35 minutes

Friday: Total 0 minutes

Saturday: Total 0 minutes

Sunday: Total 0 minutes
Weekly Total:  1 Hr 40 minutes   (100 mins)

Work Out Reflection
Would you say there's room for improvement? I sure would!!!

Work Out Goals for This Week
My back was quite painful this week. Days where walking was difficult!! I am anxious to get past this pain! Physical therapy starts tomorrow and my gym will finally be open!! And I will get to see my trainer!! Can't wait!!! I know she will be gentle!! 

Really hope to improve my exercise this week!! Fortunately I will go back to my trainer 2 pounds less then the last time she saw me. Yeah!!!

Loretta from Loretta's Journey....wrote something...OK many things on my post, "All Around Me..." dated 9/5/11, (sorry I can't figure out how to link it) that I thought were amazing. I've reread her comment many times. But the one that stands out the most is..

Remember... the SuperHeroes of weight loss are simply farther down the road as some of us. So, don't compare yourself to them. When you get all your stuff worked out, and it "clicks", you'll be one, too! 

Oh I soooo want to be a Super Hero in weight loss....How about you?

Keep Focused!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Things on my mind...

Random thoughts for a Friday night.....

Yesterday I decided to wear my dress pants. I had not worn them since last spring. It's been nothin' but skirts, dresses, capri's and shorts for me this summer, but as fall is creeping in, I decided I needed a change. As I was digging through my closet I found 2 black pairs of pants. I checked out the tags and I picked the pair I thought I should wear. I tried the pants on, got them up...almost buttoned, but they did not fit....OH NO!!! Then I tried on the other pair...they fit, but were quite loose!! I was a little perplexed and could not figure out what was going on...Then I realized the pair that fit and are too loose are my pants. They are size 16. The other pair that did not fit, are my daughters, they are size 13. What's so exciting is, I'm already thinking I should be in size 13 ~ they were my first choice!!! I thought I was already there. The neat thing is....I'm close!!! YEAH!!

Today I'm feeling more in control and a lot better. I've lost all of the weight I gained on my vacation and then some. My body is feeling so much better, I don't feel like a stuffed sausage anymore. Whew, that was miserable! Calories are right where they should be. Exercise is not so good yet, as my back is still hurting. I had a great day yesterday and I think I over did it. Today it was really painful!

Tomorrow I go to the hospital for tests. I've had some issues with my ears and I was diagnosed with vertigo a while back. I also have some tingling and pressure above my right eye....So I get to go for 2 MRI's tomorrow. Woo hoo for me....They are doing one MRI on my ears and one on my facial nerves. I had no idea you could have 2 MRI's in one day. It's going to take over 3 hours. Pray for me!

Fall is here in Oregon. The weather is cool, the skies are cloudy and the trees are turning colors. I did not think I would be ready for this season change, as we've barely had a summer. But I have to say, that I am quite excited for fall...It's my favorite time of year! I love the smells, cozy fires, pumpkin patches, pumpkins, scarecrows, candles, fall decorations, pumpkin bread ~ did I just say that? Anyway, I love it!

This malware thing is getting on my nerves. I've had to delete a couple of people from my blog, as I kept getting the warning message. Please don't be offended!! If you get the issue taken care of, let me know and I will add you back. Sorry it's a pain!!

Today I went to two stores. At each one, I saw 3-4 people in wheelchairs. I mean really big people. It was sooooo sad to see them, trapped in a chair, unable to maneuver in the aisles. I saw this one lady, kind of get trapped in the check out line, between her wheelchair and a cart. How frightening is that to be trapped? I so prayed for their health to be restored! That is no way to live for sure!

Take care my Friends...Keep fighting the good fight...Don't quit!! 

Stay focused!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Spreading the Love!!!

So excited to receive this blog award from my friend and Fitness Challenge buddy Jessica at See How She Runs. She gave me the Liebster Blog Award. Jessica is awesome ~ be sure to follow her blog!!!  "Liebster" means "favorite" or "love" in German and can be presented to bloggers you love that have under 200 followers.

I am super excited to pass this award on to....

Sarah @ Fat Little Legs - She is pregnant and getting ready to have her 2nd child. She has had an extremely difficult pregnancy, but has come through this experience amazingly! I think of her daily and when I'm struggling, I think of her and say, "If Sarah can do what she's doing, then I can do this!!!" Also prior to her pregnancy she lost over 100 pounds. This Sister gets things done!! She truly is an inspiration to me!! Good luck my Friend, I'm praying for you and your precious little one!!!

Lori at My Journey through the Deepest, Darkest Weight Loss - This Sister is a fighter!!! She's lost over 80 pounds and is almost to her goal!!! I love her because she is a faithful Friend and encouraging!! She is someone who will reach her goals! She's got what it takes!

Michele at Ruminations and Uncovering: Toward a New ME! ~ I love this Sister!!! She is inspiring. She does not let ANYTHING get her down. She faces her fears daily and pushes through all obstacles. I like that she's not afraid to try new things. She's inspiring!!

Margene at Believing it's Possible ~ This Sister gets things done!!! She has lost over 100 pounds and looks great. I know it because I've met her. She's my Oregon buddy!! I was privileged enough to be able to run two 5k's with her, her family and friends. We had a blast. I might add, that she totally kicked my butt both times, but that's OK, she deserves to win....because she is a WINNER!! She has since moved to Utah....I miss you my Friend!

Sharon at Gains and Losses: Life through Sharon's Eyes ~ Sharon is a Sister who is very creative. Her writing style and pictures are amazing. I think she should write for travel magazines ~ She's that good! I also love that when she writes, she gets to the bottom of things and really touches my heart. She is inspiring!!! Also, she's near her goal weight and is looking good!!!!

Sam at Believe In Yourself ~ I love this Sister! She is a sweet and kind...but also a fighter! She is very supportive to me and I value her friendship so much! This girl is going to reach her goals. She's got what it takes!!!

Kimberlynn at Minding My Weigh ~ My dear Sister has not posted in over a month and I'm worried for her. She is such an amazing woman! She's intelligent, funny, inspiring and just a really nice person! IF YOU WOULD SPREAD THE LOVE AND VISIT HER, I WOULD BE MOST GRATEFUL! She's just amazing and I would love to see her back! Love YOU my Friend!!!!

Other bloggers I love....but they have over 200 followers... 

Chris at A Deliberate Life ~ She is another Sister who sets me straight! If I get off track and flounder, she's the one I ask to kick me in the hiney to get me on the straight and narrow. She's lost over 100 pounds and is now learning how to maintain her weight. She's doing awesome and is very thoughtful and inspiring!! 

Kristin at Bringing Pretty Back ~ I love Kristin!! This Sister looks at things in a beautiful way. She's very talented, funny, and inspirational. She has helped me learn to see myself as pretty and inspires me to make my surroundings pretty. Plus she's beautiful herself ~ Inside and Out!! 

Mary G at A Small Loss ~ I love Mary because she is faithful - She's there for me! I also love that she's a risk taker....she just moved across the country for work! This girl has tenacity and is also a big loser. She's lost over 146 pounds and looks great! She is a Sister that will go far in life. She's got what it takes!!!!

Sue at  Mrs. Fatass - This Sister cracks me up!! I love her sense of humor. Plus she's going to be a Super Star...I just know it!! She's so real, I feel like I've known her for years!! 

I would love to give everyone this award!!! Take it and spread the love!!

Love you~


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Just Realized Something....

I am not in the greatest place right now...Still struggling with my back (can't get into Physical Therapy until next week - Frustrating), I have not seen my trainer for 3 weeks (I've been on vacation) and my gym is closed until Monday, September 19th (Should not be an I have a home gym).

None the less - yes all of this is happening, but I've chosen to go back to my old ways. I have slipped in the past 3 weeks before my vacation. Week one of my vacation, I did great!!! The second week I held my own pretty well, only added a bite here and a taste there. This week....I'm back to January 1, 2010!!!!!!!! Fat, sluggish, stupid old woman!

The past 2 days my calorie intake has been 2000 and I've been barely able to move. Today...I feel like a stuffed sausage....wanting to and sometimes...I've even stuffed my face with something.

Let me remind you of how this disgusting behavior feels.....
  • I'm hot and sweaty....can't get relief!
  • My tongue is fat and lazy and all the little bumps are standing up. It feels like a cats tongue - gross!!
  • My back hurts, so I'm walking hunched over....I look like a fat old woman!
  • My feet, legs and hands are bloated....
  • Oh and my stomach is bloated. I can't even hold it in, it's too heavy!!
  • I have acne again!
  • I am sleeping well, probably because I'm in a food coma!
  • My energy level is super low!!
  • My thinking is sharp and then sluggish many times during the day....
  • Right now I could use a nap!

I want to get back to feeling....
  • Energetic
  • Sexy
  • Mysterious...there's just something mysterious about a person who takes care of themselves....Don't you think?
  • Want to feel good in my clothes....I have no fall clothes in my closet. None!! I would love to go shopping, but I can't do it feeling this way....
  • Need the swelling to go down so my shoes won't be so tight and I can get my rings off.
  • I want to be able to get back into the gym and reach my fitness goals!
  • I want to get my calories down to 1600!!
  • I want to drink my water!!
  • I want to reach my goals!!!
There.....I feel better and dang it, I'm fighting back!!


Keep focused!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Getting Back to Normal

After almost 2 weeks of vacation, things have been a little out of sorts....My house is a wreck! I have had coming laundry out of my ears (almost done), boating equipment (skis, ropes, life jackets, pull toys - all of this stuff is in my living room!!), I have grocery shopping to do, I need to run some errands, the dogs need a bath, I need to pay some bills, I need to button down our yard and decorate my house for fall...yes, it's coming! I need to get my hair done, and oh my goodness....I need a pedicure!!!

All of this is needs to be done, plus I work and have to fit my health and fitness in...

Whew...I need a vacation!

I am on my way to getting back to normal....I'm right back to my exercise, even though it's ever so slowly! My back is still giving me trouble. I need to get into the physical therapist soon! My diet is getting better ~ more normal! I'm down 4 of the 5 pounds I gained. I knew it was water weight. I still feel a little puffy, hopefully this will subside soon!

Other than that...I'm still fighting and working toward my goals!!

How about you....Are you reaching yours?

Keep focused!

Monday, September 12, 2011


I used to believe that if it really came down to it, should something terrible happen to me, and I'm faced with life or death...I used to believe that I did not have it in me to fight for my life. I would always say, "If that happened to me, I would die." Mostly I thought this because I knew my body, I knew what it was capable of, I knew what I could and could not do. I thought I would die, because I could not get this body to move. (I remember there were times when my kids would have fallen, they would have blood all over them, and I could only walk quickly to them, as I was unable to run.....How terrible is that?)

In watching the 911 programs yesterday, I was sobered by the reality of what the people in the World Trade Center buildings had to go through. Not only were they confused, terrified, horrified and a whole host of other emotions that I cannot even image...but they were also faced with the reality that they needed to get out of those buildings to save their lives. If they were ambulatory, some of them had to endure 80+ flights of stairs to safety ~ some even had to do that with injuries!

If it was January 2010 and I were in one of those buildings, as fat and unhealthy that I was, I would not have been able to get myself out of the building alive. Back then, I could barely go down 2 short flights of stairs without being winded. I could not imagine trying to do that with 80 flights of stairs and scared out of my mind. I don't think I could have done it on my own. Sure I might have made it with help, but then I'm burdening someone else and maybe jeopardizing their life to save my sorry out of shape butt.

I thought of this the whole day yesterday.

After coming this far, losing some of the weight and getting stronger, I feel now, I could save myself in an emergency. I am even strong enough to maybe help someone else out if needed. (Except for my sore's feeling a little better today - even with that, I would still be able to do it)

Side note: My hubby left for work a little while I am writing now, all I hear are sirens.....Lots of them. I am worried....Do you ever do this? I am sure he is OK! (I refuse to worry, until I need to)

Back to my post....

While I was thinking about this post last night, other words came to me ~ Fight...Face your Fears.....Don't give up......You can do it!!!

As I was praying to the Lord about all of this He gave me this scripture: I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

All this to say, that I am more motivated to get this weight off and get super strong. I know now, that if I am ever faced with a situation like this, I will remember that I want to live....I will fight for my life....I will face my fears....I won't give up....and I will do it with the Lords strength.

Are you getting stronger every day?

Keep focused!!!

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Spent a lot of time reading blogs today! So much success out there ~ WAY TO GO!!!!  Some of you are struggling, but I have no doubt, for those struggling, that things will get back on track soon. Keep pushing through, stay can do it ~ I believe in you!!!

This past week I was on vacation. I had plans....awesome plans of health and fitness. I had plans of eating healthy meals and getting my exercise in. I'm in a fitness challenge with Jessica and I so wanted to beat her this week. My mind was totally there, ready for success, but my body was not.

The week before we left, I went to the doctor because of hip pain. Then last week, this pain moved from my hip to my lower back. Last Monday while setting up our camp, the pain was so bad, that I could barely walk. This was a little distressing, since the bathrooms were at the other end of the loop.

The other sad thing was that I've worked hard, this year, to be able to ready for the fun we had planned this week. I've wanted to water ski so bad and I've been working hard in the gym to be strong enough to do it...Past years, I've tried and tried and could never get out of the water. This year, I'm lighter and a lot stronger....I could do it ~ I am positive, except for this back pain. I had also planned a lot of walks and runs with my daughter. I had my exercise clothes and running shoes packed....I was ready! We even took water noodles so we could do water aerobics.

Unfortunately I was unable to do any of these things. I mostly sat on the beach, watching and dreaming of what I wanted to do. I could not even lift my grand babies without crying out in pain...Can I say that I am very disappointed?

The only way I got relief was to take Advil every 3 hours.....I hate taking that stuff!!

I am scheduled for physical therapy on my back (PT again - just different body parts - I've had PT on my knees, calves and tennis elbow) Can I say that I'm sick of physical therapy? The only bright spot is I will find out what I can do to strengthen my back so I can avoid this type of injury in the future. Need to look for the silver lining ~ right?

The other thing, because I was too afraid, or too sore, or just sick of waddling to the bathroom, I did not drink enough water, then I forgot my blood pressure meds 2 days and that always throws me and I'm up 5 pounds. It's gotta be water weight, my feet, legs and hands feel like I'm ready to pop there is so much pressure. I kind of feel like a sausage. Today I've been drinking water like crazy and made many trips to the bathroom. Starting to feel a little better.

My food intake was pretty good. I did not over eat any of the goodies that we had. A small miracle here. I just did not want it.

On the bright side, I totally enjoyed my family, we had a great time being together. We decided that we will make this trip an annual event. And my back is a little better now that I'm sleeping in my own bed and not walking and lifting so much.

I have a new goal...Next year, I will be in a totally different place.....Healthy, lighter, lean, strong and able to get up on those skies!!! I'm doing it!!!

Workout Summary:

Sunday: Total 0 Minutes

Monday: Total 0 minutes

Tuesday: Total 0 minutes

Wednesday: Total 0 minutes

Thursday: Total 0 minutes

Friday: Total 0 minutes

Saturday: Total 0 minutes
Weekly Total:  0 Hrs   (0 mins)

Work Out Reflection
Well it pretty much stunk.....Don't know what else to say...

Work Out Goals for This Week
Going to physical therapy ~~ doing everything they say!! I will walk on my treadmill!!!

So no matter what....I'm pushing through this injury. It's just an injury ~ you know athletics get injured ~ it happens. I going to beat this!!

How about you? How are you doing?

Keep focused!

Oh so funny....I'm getting ready to publish this post and I look at my Labels: and it says: "wawa". I did not type this....(I typed injury ~ How did wawa show up) ~~ is this what this post is about? Am I wah wahing about what happened or did not happen this week...Am I making excuses for what I did not get done? Hummmmm!

Monday, September 5, 2011

All Around ME...

Lately, it seems that some of the things I've read, heard or seen are pointing me in a common direction....A direction that I kind of understand, but cannot always stay focused on  and that thing is.....


I've heard if you see yourself there, you will get there.....Decide something for your life and you've got it....Think yourself thin ~ Have you heard that one before?.....Have faith!

I'm trying to be positive...think life purposely and always moving forward toward my goals.  I'm trying to visualize what and how I want things to be. I kind of get there, but I always have this little seed of doubt hanging around.

I can't just give in and say, with no doubt that I will reach my health and fitness goals. I'm like 96% in....4% of me says, "You're never going to make it...." "Failure!"....."You don't have what it takes!".....

Now I know I can get 100% faith that things will happen. I've done this before. I can remember 2 times in my life, that I made my mind up, got my attitude right and those 2 things happened. I HAD NO DOUBT!!!  But I just can't seem to muster up a 100% positive attitude that I can get this weight off or reach my goals!!!

Do you struggle with this....Is it even necessary to reach 100% assurance that this can be done? Is it OK to have a smidgen of doubt?

Keep focused!

Sunday, September 4, 2011


Are you suffering right now because you are making good choices for yourself? Even if change in your life is healthy and good, you can still suffer because of it.

It's like OK now what do I do? I used to eat when I was stressed....can't do that anymore....ouch! How am I to cope? How about when you are bored, frustrated, confused, joyful, happy? How about when we celebrate? Can't really devour the smorgasbord anymore....What will we do with our time?

For me, change means, I don't do that any more, now I do this. Finding the this (The alternative choice), may be really hard, especially if you are struggling to let go of the thing you love most!

For a lot of us, giving up food and our behaviors towards food is difficult to give up or change. It's what we do, at least I know it's what I do....I've lived like this for over 40 years and it seems it's really hard to teach this ole gal (the old saying says dog, but I'm not calling myself that) a new trick!

So what to do....Here we are, we need to make changes....for some of us (me), I need to make a lot of changes. But I don't want to give up the familiar, the things I know, the things that speak love to me, the things that make me feel OK.

I heard this last night at church....What if the very thing we give up...ends up giving us the very thing we are looking for.....Something that will give us life!

We think that food is our thing that we are looking for (I need it to cope, bring comfort, satisfaction etc), but what if we give it up and put our focus on our health and fitness.....After time, we will end up with what we really want....thin & healthy bodies ~ YES! But I believe there is so much more for us then even that. A thin  and healthy body is a bonus, but what we really get is something more. I don't know what that something more is for you...But I already know, that by trying to change my life, giving up the unnecessary food, and pushing forward on my health & fitness plan...already new doors are opening for me...things are happening in my life....things that would not be happening if I had not made that first effort to try. You see if I had not made changes back in January 1, 2010, I believe I would be bed bound by now. I was heading that way. But because of the simple change of letting the food and old self destroying behavior go, I'm finally living my life....And I know the more I give up the food and old behavior, that more opportunities will present itself to me ~ I will truly be living the life that I was created for. I can't wait!

So, I'm willing to give up food, I'm willing to suffer through this process until I learn to fill my time with healthier alternatives ~ not food. I willing to push through the feelings you get when you let go of something you love. I'm willing to do all of this so I will get something my heart is looking for.....something more important, something better, something more meaningful and lasting than food ~ I'm looking for life!

Giving food up....I know there will be pain, suffering, discomfort...But I also know, if I do it, I will get something more ~ I will have a more abundant life!!!

Commit yourself today to your health and fitness plan. Make the changes you need to make, give up the excess food ~ it's not your friend! This maybe painful, but it may lead into the something you are looking for!!

Are you with me?

Yikes ~ Forgot to record exercise for the week!

Workout Summary:

Monday: Total 53 minutes
33 min Treadmill 
20 min Wake Surfing

****2 hours of treading water in the lake (Jessica - does this count?)

Tuesday: Total 45 minutes
45 min Water Aerobics

Wednesday: Total 50 minutes
50 min Stability Class

Thursday: Total 60 minutes
60 minute Treadmill

Friday: Total 30 minutes
30 minute Treadmill

Saturday: Rest
Weekly Total:   4 Hrs   (238 mins)

Work Out Reflection
Augh ~ Seemed like I pushed myself all week, but only got in 4 hrs. Hummm...I've got work to do!

Work Out Goals for This Week
I am on vacation this week, I am planning a lot of walking and swimming!!!

Keep focused!

Friday, September 2, 2011

My Body

Been struggling for 2 years now with  my ears. They just drain and drain, then the insides get all crusty and gross. So hope you are not eating your breakfast right now...Anyway, this has been going on for a very long time. Now, I have a lot of pressure & numbness over and around my right eye, in addition to some dizziness and problems walking. (I always have to look down, because if I look up, everything swims around me) Kind of strange. So I go to the Ear Nose & Throat (ENT) Doc to see what's going on. Of course, he's not too concerned about the 2 year problem with the ears, that bugs me to no end, no he's more concerned for all of the other stuff that's going on.

So instead of getting a heavy dose of decongestant, that I thought I would get...instead of getting an easy fit, I get to have a MRI...2 of them. I've never heard of that. Almost 3 hours in that stupid machine.

For crying out loud....will I ever be free of all of this medical stuff? It is so frustrating!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday it was like I went in to get my finger bandaged and ended up in surgery instead. I am so sick of this!!!!

If I could only get these little niggly health problems ~ ears, now this stupid head thing and my hip/back from hurting....and I'm sure there's something else to complain about...if I could only get these things out of the way, I would be feeling great!!

This is the exact reason why it is important to be fit and healthy (Not to say that fit and healthy people don't get sick), but a lot of my problems are and have been from obesity. I could have avoided a couple of surgeries and a lot of the other things, like knee, hip, feet and back problems, maybe I could have avoided the carpal tunnel surgery and could have avoided a number of other things....Oh I remember more.....If I were more fit, I may be able to get off of the blood pressure meds and because I'm more fit now, I was able to avoid cholesterol meds. See getting fit has its benefits!!

So are you with me today. Are you willing to do whatever you need to do to get fit and healthy? Lets do it!!

Keep focused!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Unexpected...

I used to be so rigid in my expectations that if something did not go my way, I would have a fit. Some times if I could throw myself onto the floor and have a hissy fit, I would do it. But I finally did grow out of that behavior...a long time ago!

Thankfully I am far from that person who could not change gears, because if I was, I would be having a grand ole hissy fit, right now!!

This week I'm supposed to be camping. But nope, due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at home doing a Staycation!

Knowing I had all of this time on my hands, I made "plans" to get a ton of stuff done at home, I was going to get myself ready for our next camping trip next week and I was going to hit the gym ~ hard!!

The first few days I worked around here really hard, got a lot done. I was going to make my writer workshop on Monday, but that got cancelled, as we decided to go out on the boat instead. Always shifting gears!

My Hubby and I decided that we wanted to go to the Tuesday Night Farmer's Market, but that got changed to. Instead of going there, my Daughter and I decided to go to my water aerobics class. We get there and we were all showered and ready to hit the pool, when we noticed that the pool was drained and had a huge lift in it. Huh?

Determined to get our exercise in and not to let one more thing go undone, we sought out an employee to see what was going on. I was told that they needed to do some maintenance on the ceiling and they needed to drain the pool to get to the problem. We were disappointed that our class was cancelled and said so to the employee, who happily announced that the class was not cancelled, but moved to the outdoor pool.

Now in Oregon, we have not yet had summer. It's been cool, cloudy and rainy for a good part of the summer. That was all of those things. My Daughter and I both looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and bravely said yes, to our new opportunity.

It was time to get in....and can I say....FREEZING!! The water was cold and the wind was blowing....Not a good combination for sure. Anyway, we would not be thrown off of our plan and we pressed on....We had a great workout and you know what....After exerting our energies, we found that we were quite warm in the pool after all. Getting out was another story!!!

Last night, I wanted to go to my Stability Ball class. Before I left the house, I was helping Hubby with the camping stuff. I almost did not go to my class, as I kind of felt guilty leaving him with all the work to do. I went anyway :-) So I rush to my class and entered the room and it was empty and dark. I'm thinking...another class cancelled....What's going on people? After a few moments I see this very fit woman enter the room and I realize she's our replacement instructor. So we were chatting and soon the class start time was almost there and no one else had arrived. You have to have at least 3 people to have a class. Five minutes into class and still no one has shown up. So my brave instructor traipsed down to the weight room and recruited 3 more people and we had our class! It was different and a butt kicker for sure. It was a really hard class and I was  proud that I could do most every thing she asked us to do. (I could not do jumping jacks while in a plank position ~~ can you?  Killer!!!)

All of this to say....That I had plans....things I wanted do....And things outside of my control changed my plans. I had a choice to make...I could retreat into myself, like I used to do....or I could embrace the change...stretch myself and go with the new direction. I am so glad I did, because each experience brought something new to my life that I would not have ever experienced before. I was willing to embrace the change and grow from it. I've had a great week so far and I'm looking forward to new changes to come my way.

How about you? Do you embrace change?