Touch of Reality and I would handle it and how God will handle it...

Before today, I would honestly tell you that I have not gained but a couple of pounds during this Covid Pandemic. 

Went to the doctor today and found out that not only have I gained a couple of pounds....but I've gained 14 pounds since March.

I don't weigh myself regularly....I try to judge how I'm doing by how my clothes feel.  However, my clothes are not helping me. I can still wear the same jeans I wore 14 pounds ago and even about 20 pounds ago. So not a good measure. Yikes!

This reality really hit me hard today. Honestly I feel a little betrayed by my body. It seems that I have not eaten tons and tons...at least not 14 pounds worth. But here I am....

 But the real reality is....

• I am not moving much. With working from home and everything being so close, I don't get a lot of steps in. And I'm not putting in the extra exercise either...
• I'm not drinking all of my water.
• And I'm not really eating like I should. Clearly eating too much!

I'm not working my plan.

Now I would like to rip a new one into myself for being such a failure. I want to cry, go on a pity party, be depressed and scream at God for not helping me. 

But instead...I'm looking to Him. I am asking the Lord how He wants me to proceed. Pretty sure there will be no crazy diets, excessive exercise, crying, pity parties, depression or screaming. He's got a really big plan for me. I am now ready to proceed with Him.

Already I got my food tracking book out and have determined what foods that don't make me feel well.

Instead dread, fear, anger and all the other "usual' emotions that come from me, when I am in this place. Instead I feel excited, joy, determination and you know the best thing? I feel loved! Because I know that God has my back and we are going to make this happen!!

I did many good things on my own the last time I started this journey. I can't wait to see what will happen when I partner up with the Lord. It's going to be amazing!!!!