Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Old Tapes are Dead!!

Yesterday I had the awesome pleasure of taking my Granddaughter to school and helping her class for the day. I was really excited to do this at first. Then as the time approached, fear started to set in. All of a sudden all of those old tape, emotions and dread filled my heart and I started to panic. I got that flee and flight feeling...I so wanted to run away!!! Here's what I was thinking.....

Oh no....I'm fat, what if the kids make fun of me. What if the kids make fun of my Granddaughter because she has a fat Baboo (that's what she calls me), what if I can't sit on the chairs, what if I break a chair, what if I embarrass my Grand Baby, what if, what if, what if.....

Then to add to my anxiety, I picked her up and before we arrived to the school, her countenance changed and she became very sullen. I kept asking her what was wrong, was she sick, was she missing her mom, was she......and my mind was thinking...was she embarrassed of me?  After many questions, she would not answer me. When we finally got to the school, the tears started to flow, for her first, then mine were welling up in my eyes. I pleaded with her to tell me what was wrong. The more I asked her, the more she cried. Finally, I had a decision to make.....was I going to rise up and do the right thing and get her into the school or was I going to do what I wanted to do and leave the school and take her out for ice cream?

Finally I got my strength and found my mommy voice...well I guess it's my Grammy voice and I told her that we were going to school!!

We both bravely walked to her class. The minute she walked over the threshold, she was all smiles and ready for her school day.

Soon the old tapes of all the bad things that could happen started to roll in my head. Again, I gathered my strength, oh and of course I was shooting up some prayers to the Lord for help, and I began to address those old lies.

  • Yes, I still have some weight to lose and kids made fun of me. And even if they did, so what, I know that I'm making great choices now and weekly those extra pounds are coming off.
  • None of the kids made fun of my Granddaughter. In fact, they will probably not make fun of my weight, because I'm starting to look more normal, but they will probably make fun of her, because she has a Grandma named Baboo!
  • Not only could I fit on the Kindergarten school chair, but I did not break one. I was very comfortable and my butt, just barely hung over the seat. 
  • And finally I did not embarrass my Granddaughter. In fact, she proudly stood with me at recess and her friends were very kind to me. One little boy held my had for quite a while. So cute!!
So goodbye old fat tapes!! You are lies, you don't apply to me anymore. I am throwing you away and you will not stop me from doing anything I want or need to do!! I am free from you!!

Do you have some old tape that you need to throw away? If so, do it now!!! If you are brave enough to do it, you will find freedom!! I know, because I'm feeling free today!!

Have a fit day!!


  1. Did you ever find out what was making her cry?

    1. Never did. Once school was over it was forgotten. Already emotional at 5. Geez!!

      How are you doing?

  2. Yes! Keep up the great work, Joy.

    ~Nancy Jill

  3. Our mind can play such mean tricks on us!! Proud of you for overcoming!!!