Sunday, December 27, 2015


Really don't even know where to begin.....I guess I'll go back to summer 2014...I will be quick! I promise!!

Summer of 2014 I was in the best shape ever! I was at my lowest weight, at my fastest run pace and could not do enough, just not enough time in the day!! I competed in many running events, 5k's, 10k's, at least 2 half marathons and a sprint triathlon. Plus we were biking, swimming, boating, camping and all kinds of other things. I felt great!!

Beginning of fall 2014, I began to notice that I needed a little more sleep and I just did not want to do my beloved running any more.  I thought, well you had a very busy first half of the year and a crazy busy summer, you probably just need a rest. So I rested all the way through December 2014.

January 2015 I got back on my running training schedule and started working toward my 1/2 marathon that was scheduled in May. Mind you, I was still on the low calorie diet and had no energy while trying to do this training.

I was set up for 2 weight lifting days, 3 short runs during the week and then a long run on the weekend. Most weeks, I could get at least 1 short run done and hit or miss on the weight lifting....but I always got the long runs done. Early in my training, my long runs started at 3 miles and each week they got longer and longer until I would be able to run 13.1 miles in May.

As the 1/2 marathon approached, I was feeling the pressure...Oh my! I was not getting my mid week runs in, just too tired, and was pushing waaaaay too hard on the long runs. Unfortunately these long runs took about 3-4 days to recover from and I really did not have any gas left to get my mid-week runs and weight lifting in. Then three weeks before my race, I was pushing on a long run and injured the tops of my feet. Stupid me, never thought that I should just bag the race....nope I pushed through to the start line with inadequate training, no energy, injured feet and not quite ready to run 13.1 miles.

Race day came and I did 6 miles pretty well. At mile 6, my feet started to hurt and I had no energy to finish. At that point, I had a panic attack on the course. I was freaking out and wondering how I was going to do 7.1 miles to finish. I just did not think I could do it. It's never occurred to me that I could call my Hubby and he could pick me up. My only focus was getting to that finish line....even if I had to crawl....I was going to get there!!!! I was going to finish....and I did. It was not a favorable finish that was for sure, but I got it done.

After that race, I really tried to go back to basics and start over. I tried to set up a 5k plan and get a really good 5k under my belt and then move to longer distances. But I just could not make it happen.

Anything I did, it would take days to recover. You just can't train for distances only running 1-2 days a week.

I was frustrated!!!! What in the world.....just a few months ago, I could bike 65 miles, run 13.1 miles, swim for miles, and anything else I wanted to do and now, I could barely walk a mile. Just had no gas in the tank!

So I went to the doctor mid-September and they did the usual blood work and found that I was anemic, so they ramped up my iron intake. My last blood test mid-December showed that I was no longer anemic, but I have low iron storage, which is causing my fatigue.

I guess, according to my doctors notes, I have had low iron since 2011. But with the crazy low calorie diet and all the training I did the summer of 2014, I depleted my iron storage. I really did not have anything in my tank. I was depleted....

To my horror, my doctor told me to get off of the crazy low calorie diet and eat real iron-rich foods, they gave me iron supplements, restricted me from training and working with my personal trainer and ordered me to rest. Huh?

Needless to say, I did not handle that prescription very well. In fact, they were a little concerned for me and sent me to a behavior counselor to help me deal with the fact that I could no longer do what I wanted to do.  The counselor even told me that I was a "health freak" and I needed to get a little balance in my life. She and the doctors weren't sure if I would be able to go back to running and doing the activities I was doing and if that were the case, her job was to help me find something else to do.

Well bummer..............

So I did what I was told. I stopped the crazy dieting, I stopped running, stopped lifting weights, stopped swimming...I stopped it all.

Then I got a little depressed....OK a lot depressed and I started eating real food and gained 25 pounds back real fast! I did get a lot of rest, I ate my supplements, tried to move a little and gained 10 more pounds for my efforts.

So here I am......

  • I'm 35 pounds heavier....Now 70 pounds away from my goal.
  • Cannot run and I can barely walk a mile.
  • Lost a lot of my muscle.
  • Still have low energy. Thankfully I have more good energy days than bad....But high energy days can put me down for days.
  • Really no desire to get to the gym.
  • I have good food days, but I'm fighting the carbs. I did not have carbs for a year and a half and I'm having a hard time staying out of them...eating way to much!!

The thing is....there's a tiny glimmer of hope rising up in me! I may not be able to run the big races anymore, but I can walk. Even if it's not far...At least now, I want to do it. I want to try! I'm finally done with just eating what I want. I'm starting to crave broccoli and chicken...and other healthy foods. I'm beginning to remember to bring my water bottle. When I was healthy, I used to have one by my side at all times. When I was not feeling well. I did not bother with them. Hardly had any water at all. 

I'm no longer satisfied with the roly poly way my body feels right now. I miss my strong, fit body! I don't want to be a fluffy Grandma. I want to be a strong and fit Grandma and be able to keep up with my Grandbabies!!!!

The other thing I learned during this time was I need to be kind and gentle to myself. I need to listen to my body. If I can't do something, then I can't...for now.....I'm not going to push through. 

I want to rebuild my body the right way, with good healthy iron rich foods, I want to drink my water and move my body, doing what I can, and most importantly get my sleep!  I want to do this every day and work toward my ultimate health and fitness. 

So another set back ~ big deal. It's not going to get me down. I'm not giving in and I'm not going to quit!! I'm ready to get my health back!!!! 

Have a fit day!!

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back. I'm so sorry to hear about the rough time you've had. You will figure this out. And just remember, they say that weight is lost in the the gym! (I am proof...I regained a good bit of my weight while I was exercising like a fiend!)

    You've got this!!!!!