Sunday, June 4, 2017

Feeling Jealous...

Just don't think there is any place else that I can say how I feel today...I am JEALOUS!!!  Obviously I've been absent from posting for a long time!  It's been just about two years ago that I started having an adrenal fatigue issue and my fatigue level dropped drastically.   When it's really hit me, I was only able to do what I needed to do, like work, minimal house stuff and just a was able to do a few things. I was no longer able to run, life weights or anything. I became sedentary. And the only thing that kind of gave me energy was sugar. So guess what....I've gained 60 pounds back.

I worked sooooo hard to lose 94 pounds. I ran 10 half marathons and many other running event, I did a sprint triathlon and did the Hood to Coast relay event. And now.....I'm not able to do much of anything, but walk and even that is difficult as I just don't have the energy and I have pretty bad legs cramps...

I have been to the doctors and things are I proving. Buts it's been a very slow process....

Here's where I'm jealous. I'm seeing all of my race buddies posting their events on face book.....and my news feed is silent.  And I'm seeing people post all of their before and after pictures of their weight loss....of course these people are doing the same crazy diet that I did that got me into my fatigue's working for them,  but it was killing me......I almost want to go back on it again just so I could lose weight....but if I do, it will kill me.  My body does not like it!!

Then I'm seeing people who have had huge amounts of weight loss because of surgery.   Remember I'm jealous, so I maybe a little snarky, here goes....they took the easy way out...I know, I know it's not easy....but I worked soooooo hard for 5 years to lose those 94 pounds. I lost the first 50 my own, and then I used a pretty restrictive (very low calories) diet, Plus I did too much exercise to lose the rest and I wrecked my system.

Now I just have to wait and let my body heal, and take this slow.  Obviously I need to reduce my calories and get my body moving and I'm hoping I can get back on track soon.

I'm just jealous that it can't be easy for me.... I am so sick of the struggle, of things not working, or things that worked before are not working now, or that is takes so f,piping long to see results......

I'm sick of it all!!!!

Sorry for the rant, still don't feel any better. I hope to see a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel...



  1. Welcome back!

    You are right...and completely normal to be jealous of people that are able to easily drop weight or that 'cheat' and do weight loss surgery. But then I remind myself that I'm better off for doing this the REAL way....and consequentially the real way is the healthy way. So it's a win win!

    You know what to do. You've got this!!!!

    1. Oh my word...thank you for your comment I'm so desperate that I started to look into surgery, when deep down in my heart I know I need to do this by changing my lifestyle. No fad or crazy diets. But getting smarter about what I'm doing and eating less and moving more. I did it before I CAN do it again!!!