Day 48 - 7 Month Focus

Yesterday was about limitations.....When I first woke up, I felt pretty good. I did a few things around the house and Hubby and I decided to run our errands early in the day. So off we went!!

First stop....the big ladies store to purchase a dreaded bra....I hate bra shopping!!! So I find the sales clerk and ask for a fitting. To my dismay there has been no change in that department. Drat!!!

Anyway, I continue to shop and as I'm looking around, I start feeling really bad. Once again, fatigue set in fast and pressure began to build over my right eye. When this happens I am only able to look at one thing and slowly look around to other things. Quick movement of my head, sends me into a dizzy feeling (not dizzy, but a feeling I cannot explain) Anyway, I am so trying to be a trouper and I continue to shop. So I get my bras and off to the dressing room I go.

When I get close to my room I notice a small old woman in a wheelchair. She sat before the dressing room doors just looking at them. She obviously could not shop on her own and was waiting for someone in the dressing stall.

Limitation #1. So sad.....here this dear woman sat in her chair, still young enough to walk, probably really slow, but limited non the less by age. She was just too old to go on her own.

While I was trying on my garments, I started hearing huffing and puffing on the other side of the wall. Then I would hear little groans and quite a carrying on. I almost was ready to call for help, the woman seemed in such distress! Finally I heard her say, "I'm so tired, I can't even try on these clothes!" I'm thinking...Oh my goodness, all that because she was too tired?

Shamefully while the women next door was laboring to find clothes to cover her body, I took a peek at her feet, so I would be able to identify her out in the store. When I was finished dressing, I left my stall and I was on the look out for the woman. I finally spied her and found that she was really large. Bless her heart.

Limitation #2, So sad....this dear woman was just too large, fatigued and out of shape to even try clothes on.

Once I got my items paid for, I made my way over to the REI store where Hubby was doing his daydreaming! That is a great store for an outdoors man!! Anyway, I guess by the look of me, my Hubby made the decision that we were going home. No more shopping for us. I was beyond my limits and needed to get home.

Limitation #3, Really sad.....I spoiled the day because of my health. I know Hubby was disappointed as we had some fun stuff planned. He took really good care of me, which I am grateful. But I could also see there is a limit for him too. He's tired of my health affecting our life. It used to be I was just too large, unfit and tired to do things. Now it looks like this medical condition I have is having its way and limiting our fun.

I am really sad for all three of us. The lady limited by her age, the lady limited by her size and fitness level and myself who is limited by a medical condition.

Sitting here, I'm wondering where do I go with this? And the only thing I can do for the other ladies is pray....and I will!! And for me.....I can just push through!!!

Even though something is going on.....even though I don't feel right or good....even though I'd rather not do anything, I'm going to push through and reach my goals. I'm not going to let fear stop me....You know me, I'm always worried about something.....like...if, because of this medical problem, they put me on meds, I will gain weight...What if they tell me to stop my focus plan (which they won't - geez), What if the meds change me.....What if purple monkeys fly over the moon???? Really? I can worry just about anything.

JUST STOP FRETTING AND WORRYING....STICK TO YOUR PLAN AND JUST SURRENDER YOUR WORRIES TO THE LORD!

Whew I feel better!

So for today, I'm going to do what I can. If I'm not able to exercise, I will limit my food intake and be really careful with that. If I need to rest I will. But I'm not going to let this get me down....I'm not going to worry...I'M GOING TO PUSH THROUGH...nothing is going to stop me from reaching my goals!!!

Stats for yesterday...

Exercise: Rest
Steps: 2924 (Geez I barely moved)
Calories: 1423
Food Tracking: Done
Water: 60 oz
Blog: Done

How about you....are you fighting through your limitations?

Keep focused!

Day 44 - 7 Month Focus

Yesterday was a tough day. I was very tired. I woke up kind of ready to go, got my work out clothes on and was not able to get on the treadmill. Just too fatigued! I finally got myself to work and had a really hard time focusing. When I am tired, fatigued and/or stressed, I feel the symptoms of the Hemi Facial Spasms. It's a lot of pressure in my head (like a tension headache), facial twitching and a feeling in my head that I cannot explain. It's one of those feelings that I get, that tell me, you've over done it!! You better rest!

Well yesterday was my day to see my trainer. I was so determined to get to the gym. So after work, I headed my car in her direction and finally realized that I could not make it. You see I have limitations!!

I don't know if this problem is a Blessing or a curse. My body, especially my head, lets me know when I've pushed myself too far. If I don't get enough rest, power through too many days, and if I don't eliminate stress, my body tells me by effecting my head.

You know I don't want this limitation right now. I want to go and do. I don't want to retreat back into my house to rest. Not now ~ I've got things to do!!!

So it makes me wonder if I will ever get to realize the dreams I have. Maybe I will get there, just not all at once and not all right now. Seems I've put my life on hold for so long, that now that I feel better in my body and can move it, I want to do everything. Cram as much in a day that I can. The reality is....I am limited ~ I need to take care of myself. I need to listen to this body and when it says rest, I need to do it.

So last night, I rested. I feel a whole lot better today. Just a small sensation in my head. I have energy and was able to get on my treadmill. Ahhhhh!!!!

Stats from yesterday....

Exercise: Rest
Steps: 3855
Calories: 2007
Food tracking: Done
Water: 100+ oz
Blog: Done

Another reason to listen to my body, when I'm tired, I cannot make my goals!

How about you...does your body let you know when you need rest?

Keep focused!