Outsider Looking In!

Went to a high school football game on Friday. Except for my friend and her husband, I did not know anybody on the team, on the band, on the cheerleaders squad or on the bleachers. So I was the outsider, looking in, and this is what I saw and experienced.


It was such a surreal night. It was like everything around me was foggy. Well it was really foggy weather wise, so this could be part of it. But what I mean is, the regular, every day things I saw looked hazy, foggy and just out of my normal sight. But the things of an obese nature were life sized and up front. Bigger than life!


Here's what I mean....


First thing I noticed were the cheerleaders. They were your typical teen aged all American girls. All thin and of normal size except one. This one girl was quite large, fat really!! Poor thing, here she was in her cheerleader outfit, stuffed like a sausage. Every time she did a move or a cheer, she had to pull her shirt down, adjust her skirt, and pull fabric from her rolls. She looked awkward and uncomfortable. I felt so bad for her.


Wait a minute....stop the presses. I was that girl!!

I was always the fat one in the group. Still am the fat one. Unfortunately there are a lot more of us now. But when I was a kid, there was only one other fat girl in my class. It was awful!!! I remember thinking how great it would be if there were more fat people and less skinny people. Well we're living that right now folks! Sorry I don't think it's better. I hate being just like so many people I see, I don't want any of us to fat and unhealthy!! I want us all to get fit!!!


I would say that 80% of the people on the bleachers all around me were over weight or obese, including my chubby self ~ no judgement here!!! In my foggy state, all I can see is chubby hand and faces and food being shoveled into gaping mouths. It was like, when you go to the movies and everybody is trying to cram in all their food before the movie begins. They were shoveling it in ~ FAST!!! I prayed several times that the team would not score another touch down or make a good play, because every time they did, everyone would stand up and cheer. Each time they did this, I felt the flooring of the aluminum bleacher buckle and sway. I was truly afraid it would collapse under the weight!!! (I'm usually not a fraidy cat, but this was frightening!!!)


One lady I was mesmerized by. She was a non stop...popcorn eating machine. Then it was potato chips and then some other things I could not see. It was almost like she could not stop herself.


Wait wait....reality check....I was that woman!!!


There have been a zillion times I was just like her. Could not get food into my mouth quick enough! Never satisfied, always wanting more!!! Insatiable hunger, a bottomless pit! That was me!!


Then something happened on the field that warranted the coaches to run out to talk to the players. One of the coaches was soooo fat, he could barely walk. I was wondering to myself, how effective is he with his team, when he talks about the nutrition needed to do what they do? Or how can he encourage his team to be diligent about the running and weight lifting needed to do the job? Or how can he explain passion and the importants of all of the components of this game, when he has personally lost his passion for doing the important things in his life?


How credible is he? Can he really make a difference in these young men's lives when he obviously does not take care of himself?


Pardon me......Ahem.....I am that man!!!


Where do I get off, telling anybody, anything about being fit and healthy? What do people think of me when they see me waddling down the street? What about at a restaurant ~ is what I order and eat being scrutinized and judged? What about the young people at work, the ones I lead....how credible am I? Can I really make a difference in their lives?


I am just like every fat person out there. No way I can hide what I've done to myself. I am judged, left out, made fun of, thought less of, taken advantage of.....yet I still do what I do.



I am that cheerleader, that woman and that coach!!!



It's a new day my friends. A hard one for many!! I know, I know....it's a day of celebration. But before you stick you hand in that candy jar or pick up that cookie....Remember we were people obsessed with food and junk.



BUT NOT ANY MORE!!!



We are not the same people we were last year. We aren't the same!!! We are on a new journey of health and fitness. And one day at a time ~ we are going to get to the goal!! We are going to be the people that God created us to be. We are no longer outsiders looking into to things. We are making things happen and making a difference in this world. We are changing our family tree. We are breaking the chains of obesity ~ One day at a time!!

Keep focused my friends ~ WE are making it happen!!

Holidays and Celebrations are great..

But before you put that piece of candy, sweets, or sugar in your month. Think about this.....

Because I'm fat...These are the things that I have experienced during my holidays and celebrations that have caused me pain....

I just love starting the New Year faced with beginning a new diet plan. Doesn't that make you feel great? I just love it! So fantastic going to the gym, again, for the first time since the last January before, with so MANY people!! It's just great!! We all cram in and work our butts off for the month and never go back until the next year. The best thing is, we keeping getting to send our money to the gym, even though we don't go there anymore! Super!

On Valentine's Day ~ Nobody ever buys me candy. Imagine never receiving one of those stupid red paper hearts filled with delicious chocolate. NOPE ~ Never got one...

Easter is a bummer....You can't wear a black Easter dress ~ you would stick out like a sore thumb. Instead, I always get the pastel tent and try to look like the other thin mom's who look great in their Easter finest. Oh and I never get an Easter basket either!!!

Weddings...Remember I told the story of the outdoor wedding that I went to, where I went to take my seat and all of a sudden I heard a large "CRACK". I totally broke the chair. Do you know that I sat in a sitting position for the entire wedding and the chair was totally broken. There was nothing supporting me. I used my legs and pretended to sit the entire time. By the time the wedding was over, I could barely walk. My legs were so cramped and sore. Needless to say, there would be no dancing for me ~ Not that I would ever do that to begin with.

Lets see...what the next event. Well there's graduations....always worry about what the seating will be like...Will I fit? Can I stand the heat??? What food are they gonna serve? Yum!

Then there's traveling. I hate to fly, always worried about getting down the aisle and fitting in my seat. Oh yeah, what about that seat belt. Would I have to ask for an extension? I was always embarrassed when they would ask if I wanted a meal. OF COURSE I WANTED A MEAL....you skinny......Ahem! Other things I worry about when I travel...amusement parks, would I have enough energy to walk everywhere and would I fit in the rides? Oh, here's a fun one, what will my stomach do with all of the extra crap I would be eating? Having stomach cramps, gas, and pooping in the motel with your family all around is awesome!!! Have you tried it?

Then I struggle with camping. Would I have enough energy to set up camp, cook, clean, have fun, walk to the bathroom a thousand times, or fit in the bathroom stall? Would I be able to walk some more, and then finally, would I have energy to tear down and put everything away when I got home? Exhausting!!!

Picnics...Love them, but would I be able to do any of the activities? Most likely I would opt out, maybe watch the kids for an excuse not to participant. Of course their activities would be limited, don't even ask me to "catch" anything!!!

Don't even get me started on boating. I just love wearing a moo moo, to cover my fat, when it's 100 degrees. It's just awesome! Oh and what about the life jackets, will they fit. Heaven forbid I hurt myself in the water and they would have to pull me into the boat. Can we say, Free Willy? Then the other thing, I don't want to try anything fun, do you know how hard it is to pull a 274 pound body out of the water, holding onto a 6 inch handle? HARD!!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Fall is my favorite time of year. I love it. I love the pumpkin patches, smells, food ~ everything about it!! I remember so many years where I wanted to dress up with my kids at Halloween. Every year, I had to choose a mass of some sort of fabric to cover my body. Never could I be the cute cat, or princess, or even Peter Pan. Nope, it was Hobo's, scarecrows and fat M&M's for me. Oh and then of course, there were times that I'd cut our trick or treating time down, because I did not have the energy to keep going. Well at least I did not drive the kids around. That's something, isn't it? We really walked it, but not very far, to be sure! Then my favorite was confiscating the kids candy and eating all the good stuff, leaving the yucky stuff for them. Yep, Mom of the Year ~ that's me!!!

Another favorite is Thanksgiving. I love it!!! I always plan on wearing my "Fat Pants" Thanksgiving Day. That way I will be guaranteed to be comfortable. Unfortunately, after the things I would consume during the day, my fat pants soon would become too tight and I would have to unbutton them to breath. Can you gain weight that fast? I guess I did. Oh and my super favorite was....My Grandma, who I loved with all my heart, would greet us kids when she would finally arrive at our house. To me, she would give me the once over, from head to toe and say "hi" and to my Sister she would say, "Oh XXXXX, you are looking so thin. You look great, your hair....blah.blah.blah.blah.blah". Such a great welcome ~ I just loved that!!

Finally there's Christmas, also my favorite. Can every holiday be a favorite? Just asking? Anyway, my most memorable one was last Christmas. I was at my highest weight. I woke up on that crisp morning, filled with anticipation and excitement. Could not wait for the day to start.....And then I was kind of noticing a curious smell ~ very unpleasant. Thought it was something in the room I was in. As I moved about the house, I realized the smell was everywhere. Geez what could it be? Smelled like something had died. So I run up to the shower and striped off my clothes and I realize that I was the one who smelled. As I was washing my body, under my huge fat stomach roll, I rubbed my hand across that area and I experienced tremendous pain. When I got out of the shower, I hoisted my fat roll up and looked in the mirror and the entire area, everywhere where skin touched skin, was flaming red, with open, weeping sores and that was where the smell was coming from. Smelled like rotten skin!!!! Oh, that by far was one of the biggest highlights of my fat. Something to be really proud of, right?

Absolutely NOT!! That's why, I want you to think about what you are doing before you put that candy into your mouth. Do you really want it? Is it really worth it? Do you really want to prolong your weight loss? Is that candy worth all of the above pain and suffering, that you've caused yourself. Is it really, worth the price you pay for abusing your body?

Think about it!!

Keep focused!!!

So Humbled...

We went to the Portland Rescue Mission tonight to help serve food to our City's hungry. It was awesome and heartbreaking at the same time. I am humbled to have had the privilege to serve the people there who are down on their luck.

Here's what I learned....

Switch Blade is a young mother of a 2 year old and a new born. Her boyfriend, the kids dad, just got out of jail but they can't live together, as a family, because of their housing requirements. She says she feels like she's a single mom, doing everything by herself. They eat at the Mission because there is never enough money to feed everyone. I packaged up extra noodles and bread so she could have something to feed her daughter later on tonight.

Then there was Cindy. She said she had a job and lives in a shelter. Sadly she can't have kids where she lives, so her 4 year old daughter lives with her sister. She says she has money, but by the end of the month there's nothing left. She said this was her first meal of the day, at 7:00pm tonight.

Then there was this man ~ don't know his name. I tried to offer some water and bread and he just looks at me with eyes that were so piercing...mean and violent. He clearly did not want to be disturbed and wanted to be left alone.

Then I saw this beautiful woman and I wondered why she was there. She had a coloring book on the table with crayons. I first thought she might have a child who would be joining her. I soon realized that she was not much more than a child herself. So beautiful and innocent. I wondered how in the world does she take care of herself, on the cruel streets of Portland.

Then there was T-Bone. The life of the party! Wanted to be the center of attention. Laughing and joking with everyone!

Toward the end of the evening, I saw this little man. he was so quite and almost folded into him self. Nobody was paying him any attention. Finally I asked if he had eaten yet. He said no and mentioned that he had been there awhile. So I quickly got him his food, poured his water and added a cup of hot coffee. When I finally got everything to him, he just looked up at me and gave me a great big smile and said "Bless you"!!!

I truly loved being there and doing what I could, to be of some comfort to others. It was an awesome experience. But I also felt so ashamed of myself that here are people who don't have enough food to, go hungry daily and worry about where their next meal is coming from and well I, obviously have more than my fair share and then some......I spend so much of my time, energy and effort on trying to figure out why I eat so much, how I can eat less blah...blah...blah. And they spend ALL their time trying to figure out how to feed their body so they won't die.

I watched these beautiful people leave with their whole world on their backs, wished them a good night and lifted silent prayers to the Lord, to keep them safe, knowing that I will drive home in my comfortable car, to my beautiful home, with my loving family and my fridge full of everything. Lacking, needing or wanting for nothing....

I am humbled.....

Challenges...Love them...Hate them!!!

Almost every time I see someone throw out a challenge, I almost never read that blog post. For some reason, when I think about joining one, I get the feeling my back is up against the wall and I'm filled with fear!


Not to say that I can't take one on...if it's for work, no problem. Got a problem at church, I'm there for you. Can't balance your checkbook, well I will work on it until the sun goes down. I'm all over those kinds of challenges.


When it comes to me and my personal health, fitness and weight loss....well that's another story.


Now I can be challenged for short term things, fitness wise. Example, if my trainer says do a plank for a minute, I can do that and maybe give her some more. She can challenge me on any of the weights or machines and I have success. Challenge me to run...NO WAY!!! So I am willing to go only so far.

My journey began because of a challenge. I was watching the movie Julie & Julia and the woman in the story decided to take a year of her life and challenged herself to cook all the recipes in Julia Child's first book. We watched her during that year struggle, be frustrated, have success and failure, but she set her goal and she made it! I was so inspired by that. I loved the thought of committing a year to focus on my health. I got so excited that decided that I wanted to lose 60 pounds by September 5th, for our son's wedding. So I got my trainer and nutritionist, started counting calories and began my fitness training.

The part I hate about challenges, is I missed my mark by 10 pounds. I lost only 50 pounds in 8 months. Good...but I still failed, I did not make my goal....

Starting September 1st, I thought I should set a new challenge. And I threw out to Blogland that I was going to get "MAD" and lose 20 pounds by Christmas. Gratefully a number of you jumped on the band wagon and joined me in my informal challenge. For someone who does not like challenges, not only do I have my own personal challenge going on, but I also joined a weight loss challenge at my gym. We are working to see who loses the most weight by December 31st. I'm so excited and I'm working as hard as I know to do. And.....


CRICKETS CHIRPING......





CHIRPING SOME MORE....





The scale has not moved!!!


I'm working like a dog in the gym and at home. Participated in and finished a 10k. I'm drinking more water and my calories have been up about 200 some days, because of the added workouts. I'm hungry!!!

But still....

The stupid scale has not moved!!!!!!!!!


So Frustrating!



Then I saw that Allan thew out a challenge. When I first saw it, I thought to myself, "Nope, ain't gonna do it"!! I not joining anymore stupid challenges. Because every time I do, I either work my butt off and miss my goal or nothing happens. So I dug my heals in deep. I was not going to do it.

Then he spoke about it again. Geez, I feel like he's cramming it down my throat. Allan you were talking only to me right? Anyway, I finally decided to look at the challenge. I stopped to see what the hubbub was about and after reading what was required, I got excited!!!

Take a look for yourself!


CHALLENGE RULES

• YOUR DAILY CALORIC INTAKE IS YOUR GOAL WEIGHT X 11 EVERYTHING YOU INGEST COUNTS AND NEEDS TO BE RECORDED


• YOU DRINK 64 OUNCES OF WATER DAILY


• NO CHEATING AND NO B...S....


• WEEKS, STARTING 10/25/2010


• WEIGH IN MONDAY MORNING AND WEIGH IN 11-08-10

This is a challenge I can do! What I like about this one, is there are specific things I need to do that pertain to my fitness and weight loss goals. I've seen other challenges out there that have you focus on your feelings or fun stuff and/or do anything but focus on weight loss. I don't get that. Shouldn't we be focusing on our weight loss & fitness goals? Anyway, just wondering...

So back to the challenge.

For me...

• My caloric intake needs to be 1595 calories per day. Shocking, after reviewing my calorie log book, I see that my calories have been 1600 - 1800 the past 2 months. Hum, is that why I have not been losing any weight?


• Water - lets see....I'm already drinking between 100-120oz per day. Whew that was an easy one.


• Don't cheat...Now here is the biggest and hardest part of this challenge. The next two weeks is a food fest for me!! Friday ~ Company potluck...Saturday ~ Harvest Party at my house...Sunday ~ Halloween...the next Sunday is my birthday!! YIKES. Why oh why did I commit to this type of challenge, during these two weeks. Hey where's the feel your feelings challenge? I think I could do that one.....Geez!!!!


• I started the challenge yesterday. I did not hit my 1595 calories for the day. I was over by 50 calories for a grand total of 1645. Not too bad for poor planning.

So here's the deal. I've been doing a pretty good job so far. Yeah 50 pounds in, now, 10 months. I've put a lot of hours on the treadmill and in the gym. I drank gallons and gallons of water. I have not had fast food for over 10 months (major miracle for me) and I do pretty well with my food. I make good choices, just have too much of it, obviously.

This challenge is so good for me, because it makes me really look at what's important in getting this weight off. Really, there can be no more fudging. Can't be! (Do you know that I have not been counting the creamer in my coffee all this time. Each cup is 50 calories and I could have 2-4 cups per day. That's up to 200 extra calories a day that I have not been counting. Also, I thought my oatmeal was 190 calories. After really looking at and re-measuring my food, I realized it's more like 400. I was having too much!!!

So you see. It pays off to take the time to really look at what you are doing. RECORD EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. It all counts!!

I'm taking this challenge to heart and I'm going to do everything in my power to stay on task. Even through all the parties and celebrations. I am going to do this!!!

This morning, after having a great day yesterday, calories reduced, I did 2o minutes of cardio (my trainer restricted me because of just doing the 10k) and all of my weight sets, and I had 120 oz of water. Do you know that stupid scale did not move.

Does not matter. I'm still going to do everything I'm supposed to!!

Pushing on....

What do you think, do you want to join us in this challenge?

Keep focused!

10k ~ Check!

Well friends, I made it!! First 10k on the books and ready for more!! I had an absolute blast!!

I went with my beautiful daughter and a friend from work. We set out on our journey @ 6:00am. Found our destination, got ready and by 8:20am I was on the road.

Here's the low down...

• Sadly I was tired. Yesterday was a kick butt day...My hubby made my spaghetti, but by the time it was done, we had to go to church. I thought I would eat after, but we did not get home until 10:30pm. Way too late for me to eat!! By the time I got into bed it was 11:30pm. Way to late for me! I tossed and turned, just too excited and finally at midnight I fell into a deep, peaceful, wonderful sleep. And then.....the biggest, loudest, scariest thunder rocked our house, waking us all up including the dogs, who then thought it a good idea to go into a barking frenzy. Needless to say, it was not the kind of night you would desire to have just prior to a sporting event.
  
• Then I was up @ 5:00am. I thought it a good idea to shower and wash my hair...why? I can't tell you. Well I was kind of thinking that I had such a hard night, that I might be refreshed with a shower. Yup it did the trick, but as I gathered my gear and was in my car headed for my daughters house, I realized that I had not had breakfast. YIKES!!!
  
• I get to my daughters in plenty of time and Bless her heart, she had a hearty bowl of oatmeal waiting for me. So I gobbled away and we soon set out.


• We arrive at our destination about the same time as my friend and found the starting line. Soon the half marathoners were off and we were waiting for our turn.
  
• We're lining up, most of the crazies were dressed in Halloween costumes, and we were ready to go. The gun goes off and we are on our way.
  
• Then thanks to our wonderful Oregon weather it begins to rain. And then it rains really hard. So I'm walking, remember I decided I could not run, and I'm just pluggin' along and after awhile all of the runners and really fast walkers were quite a ways ahead of me. I am not alarmed, just going my own pace, having fun, feeling good. And then something prompts me to take a look behind me and we were DEAD LAST!!!!! Not a soul behind me!!


• Yikes that was just not going to do it for me. There were a thousand people ahead of me!!! I was not going to stand for that. I was not going to come in last. So I picked me a target and started running. I ran and caught up to the first pack, passed some people, then started walking. I kept that up the whole way. We figured I probably ran 1 1/2 miles of the 6. Pretty good for me, since I was told by my doctor that I could not do it. HaHa - Yes I can!!!
  
• About mile 2 I saw a heavy set lady walking by herself and she was wearing a devil costume. Hummmm...Maybe I should not be surprised by what she did. So I see her up ahead of me. She was my next target, so I walked and ran and finally passed her with no problem. Feeling pretty good about myself, I kept that up with many other people. Then around mile 4 I see this same woman ahead of me again. I know it was her, I was targeted on the back of her body for quite awhile the first time I caught up to her. So I'm like, what the heck. I know she did not pass me, nobody passed me, where did she come from? Anyway, I retargeted her and passed her again. So now the pack is jockeying back a forth, I'm passing some people, they're passing me, as it goes. So at mile 5, I'm getting excited, we are almost to the end and there's that lady again. The big cheater!! Don't know how she knew how to weave in and out of the city blocks, but that's exactly what she did. So for the final time, I set my target and blew past the big cheater, cheater pants AGAIN!!!!!


• Finally the finish line was in sight. Of course, I had to run to the finish. My daughter who decided to run the whole thing in 70 minutes, was waiting with her camera. As I approached I could see her and went flying past her and she missed me. I called out to her and had to do a circle around, so I could get my picture taken. Well you gotta have one, and then I blasted through the finish line ~ 1 hour and 45 minutes later, I was not the last one in, there were 8 people behind me. (Kind of embarrassing, but not - do you know what I mean?)

Anyway, a couple of things I learned. 10k participants are really different from the 5k guys. I mean there was absolutely no messing around. They had a destination and they meant to get there ~ fast!! And I have to say that there were very few walkers in this category. After the running pack took off, there were only about 20-25 of us walking. So I guess I did not do too bad...considering!

The other thing is, I think it's really important to make sure you get done everything you need to prior to the event - food, rest, sleep etc. I tried, but got side tracked.

Shoes....shoes are very, very important! Mine felt like I was running with cardboard on my feet. Not comfortable at all. I will be looking into new pair shortly!!

Wearing layers is so important. I forgot to tell you that it rained only 1 mile of the event. The rest of the way was great, sunny and clear. Wished I had had my sunglasses. Who knew I would need them? Anyway, I was glad I could shed off some of my clothes when it got warmer.

Anyway that's it. I made it, had fun, broke a belief barrier (I CAN RUN) and have my time to beat, for the next big event. I'm thinking 10k Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day!!

What about you, have you done something lately that you thought you could not do?

Hugs!

Preparation...

Tomorrow is the big day. My first 10k!!!!

How in the world did I think I could ever do this? Well...first came the desire! After that came the preparation....

• I have had to do a lot of mental work to even get to the point where I could sign up. Breaking through belief barriers are tough. I have gone back and forth so many times, it's crazy. (Please note, I'm not running this thing, I'm walking. Just not up to running with the knee yet. Hoping I can do it next year) So many times I've said to myself, "I can do it"...."No, I can't do it"...."Yes you can"....No I can't"! I feel like Sybil (For those of you who are too young to know about her, there was a movie (true story) about a young woman named Sybil, whose childhood was so harrowing to her that she developed at least 13 different personalities.) She talked to herself a lot. Anyway that's how I've been feeling. Strong, weak, really strong, pathetic...When I signed up I was huge!!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!


• The next thing I had to do was budget. Now it was only $20 to enter, but with my tight budget I had to make it work. Check - got it done!!!


• Next I had to prepare physically. I have been strength training for quite a while now and pushing myself on the Treadmill. Now I know there's a huge difference between walking on the Treadmill and walking on the ground. I hope I've done enough work to make this happen. I know that I can do a 20 minute mile. Kind of slow, but for the mental part, I had to know how long it would take me to get this done.


• Now the fun part. Clothes....Well I did not have anything to wear, what's new! That's when my hubby came to the rescue. I have my running shoes and socks (the socks are black and orange - Hey, I forgot to tell you, we are supposed to dress up - it's Halloween for goodness sakes!!), then I added my orange t-shirt that says "This is my costume" and I had a pair of leggings that fit great and that's all I had. My hubby gave me his medium t-shirt (with the kind of fabric that wicks out the sweat - whoo hoo!!!), his water proof running jacket, his ear warmers and his cool Keen cap!! I am set to go!!


• Next I prepared my body....Last night I went to bed at my regular time and slept in this morning. Today, I'm planning on eating healthy meals, ending with spaghetti and bread for dinner. Getting to bed early. Then it's up at 5:00am to set out on my journey!


• Finally, I'll end my prep with prayer!! Really can't do anything with out the help from the Lord. Only He can help me overcome so many of the things I fear and can't do on my own. I know He will help me be triumphant and will make this a successful event. Also, I added a little extra prayer for the weather. Tomorrow, we are supposed to have the third of rain and wind storms that are supposed to hit our state. They are predicting over an inch of rain....So far, storm one and two have not been too bad...Storm 3.....well who knows. I'm praying for a window of no rain or wind between 7:30 am to 1:00pm.....After that bring it on!!!

Rock On!!!

Have you ever participated in a 5k, 10k, half marathon? How do you prepare?

Hugs!

More than just talk...

I have been on this journey since January 2010 and I have lost 51 pounds so far!!

Good for me....However, I still have a long way to go...I've got 78 more pounds of fat to lose.

This is not a time to slack off or give up, my journey is not over....I've got a lot to do!!!

With that said, I've had to take some time to ask myself some questions that have been bugging me lately.

Here goes...

• Am I losing this weight for me or someone else?


• Am I putting my full effort into my food selection, prep and presentation (Good nutrition and pleasing to the eye)?


• Am I putting my full effort into drinking my water?


• Am I putting my full effort into my exercise/fitness program?


• Am I putting my time into my blogging to please others or to help others?


• Am I being honest with all aspects of this journey?


• Am I truly giving it my all?

Have you ever asked yourself these types of questions?

Do you know how you would answer them?

I once was involved with a cosmetics company that allowed me to actually make enough money to quit my day job and work "part time" for them and make a full time income. I was totally sucked in....I purchased my kit, a new computer and company software, office supplies and a complete inventory of products. My thought was, I would buy everything necessary to be successful in this business. My business was open and just getting off the ground. However, after some time, I realized I would not be making this grand living just selling to my friends and family, it was time to hit the streets. I mean if I really wanted to do well and make money, I had to go outside my bounds of familiarity and comfort and meet more people. So I got some nerve and I tried and tried to make this happen. After many, many attempts, I soon found out that I had trouble approaching women and asking them for their business. I just could not do it.

All the while, my boss had weekly sales meeting and she wanted to see that we were selling the product. Well instead of selling it, I just kept buying it and giving it away to my friends and family at my costs. Yeah it looked like I had sales, but I was not making any money. And because I thought having more product on my shelf would help me sell more, I just kept getting more and more into debt.

Looking back I can see that I did this because I loved the recognition of being one of the tops sales gals in the group. Yeah, I was totally moving product, but going broke in the process. Week after week, I kept going, loving more and more the praise and accolades that come with being a winner. On the outside I was happy as can be, but on the inside....well I did not fair so well. After some time, I was so guilt ridden because of the tremendous debt I was adding to my family and because I was lying to my boss and the others in my group. I was not "really" selling, I was not finding new customers, I was not working the plan.....I was just "feeding" the need to be accepted and praised for a job well done. I did not do a good job, I failed...

You see there was so much more to that business other than just being a good person, or desiring to have a business, or quit my job or having everything needed to do the work. It was about doing the WORK!! DOING THE HARD STUFF, EVERY DAY...CONSISTENTLY!!

Since I was unwilling to do the things that would help me to succeed, my business failed.

What does this have to do with weight loss you might ask? EVERYTHING!!!

It's the same concept. You can have a great scale, cute workout clothes, the best running shoes...You can have the most perfect food plan and menus, awesome workout schedule and a kick butt trainer...You can say all the inspiration you want on your blog...

But the reality is....

Unless you are willing to be honest with what is really going on and be willing to do the work, the real work that makes a difference....You are going to fail.

I know what I'm talking about. Both in the business world and in my personal walk through this journey.

Don't get me wrong, I've had some success. But it's not with the effort of a true winner. I'm sloppy, sluggish at times, unwilling to do the hard work, and not honest with you or myself about what I'm "really" putting in my mouth. Friends, I'm not doing all I can do...I can do more!!!

Today, I'm on the success journey. No more messing around. It's time to clean up and get this thing done!! No more wasting time!!!

Are you with me?

Hugs!