Is it an Issue of the Heart?

I heard someone talking about goals yesterday and they said something that really made me stop and think. They said, "That sometimes, when you are unable to reach your goals, it could be an issue of the heart. Huh?

You how sometimes you will hear something, that you may not even really understand, but it hits you right in the heart?...It kind of niggles at you until you take the time to stop and really think about what you heard. Ever happen to you? Well this was one of those times for me.

So I began to think about that. Hum......what issues of the heart do I have that may be keeping me from my goals. Well.....

Stinginess? Did not really think that's I'm stingy, but after playing this game on my Ipad I really began to see that I am quite stingy! I not going to tell you what the game is, because it's fun....really fun and a time sucker! So I'm not recommending it - - you and me...well, we have other things to do. Anyway, this game is one where you make things, sell things and give things away and if you don't have what you need, you hope someone will give you something. So here I am hoping I get stuff, but unwilling to give stuff. IT'S A STUPID GAME....THEY ARE REALLY NOT EVEN TAKING ANYTHING FROM ME AND I'M STILL UNWILLING TO GIVE STUFF AWAY!!! 

Another example of stinginess....When I go to the gym, I am the most closed up person ever. Here I tout that I want to help people with their weight loss and fitness journey....but when I'm at the gym, it's all about me! I don't really talk with anyone or try to make friends.

How about when I'm driving....STINGY!!!!

Stinginess is an issue of my heart!

Stubbornness... Unwillingness? I've been going to Weight Watchers for 8 weeks and I have not been willing to figure out the program. I've been working out with my trainer for almost 3 years and I'm still unwilling to take control of my own fitness. Nutrition! I've seen a Nutritionist and know what to do, but I'm unwilling to do the right thing. Church....Praying....reading my Bible....Unwilling to really dive in! Cleaning the bathrooms....well lets not go there!!!!

Stubbornness and unwillingness are an issue of my heart!

Commitment? Not really willing to go to the next level with my weight loss, running, weightlifting or other fitness activites. Just not willing to commit!!!

Lack of commitment is an issue of my heart!

Gluttony?  Don't even need to go there. I'm all over that!

Gluttony is an issue of my heart!

Pride? Oh yes, Pride is an issue of my heart!!!!

So I have some issues of my heart....these are just a few and I'm quite sure there are more!

But you know what.....Just since yesterday, with just a small willingness to explore this issue and having a willingness to give back and surrender....I've already seen some things happen. And there's another thing....something really sweet...something that I can't exactly explain. But with my shear WILLINGNESS to TRY to SURRENDER, even just a little, I've had a feeling, or an expectation  or excitement, of something that is telling me, that if I keep this up, the whole world will be open to me. That things will really begin to happen!!!! That the fruit of my efforts will be greater than when I was not taking care of these issues of the heart...

Couple of examples of things that have happened, just since yesterday....When I gave freely in my game. I got back more...And all my needs were met and I'm making friends - lots of them!!.

When I was at the gym yesterday, I encouraged this older lady to try and do push ups for her fitness assessment. She said she could not even do one and did not even want to try. I encouraged her and let her know that this was a baseline test only and after our fitness challenge is over in 3 months, that I'm quite sure she would want to know this information to see how well she improved. I advised that if she did not know how many she could do today, then in 3 months she would not see her improvement. So she decided to do it and you know what she did 5 push ups!! I could see her pride and excited gushing out of her. So proud of her!!!

While driving I've been letting people in and sharing the road. I tell you, I have a lot less stress and it's kind of fun Blessing people in such a small way!!!

These other heart issues....I can see that I need to work on them. Already in such a short time, with these small things that I've done, I've experienced this wonderful release (!?!) or whatever this is and I'm EXCITED to put the attention onto the other heart issues. I know some amazing stuff is going to happen!! So excited!! 

More to follow!!

Do you think you have an issue of the heart when it comes to your health and fitness?

No Fear!!!

Who Stole Yours?

When I first started losing weight and working on my fitness. I was having a blast ~ It was fun!! And you know with my new enthusiasm and success. It was!

Then a so~called friend told me that losing weight and getting fit is NOT fun, and that, I too would soon learn that this was true. She said, "Oh you just wait!"

You know....she stole something from me that day. Because since that day, this journey has not been as much fun...I have not had the enthusiasm I once had. And you know what? I've not had the great success I had when I thought it was easy and fun!

Hummmmm!!!!!!!!!!!

Then the other day I heard this on the Dr Laura Radio show. She was talking to a caller and I wrote down everything she said....except I changed the wording as if  I'm talking to myself...

Deciding something in advance usually limits me.

My decisions limit my body and my mind.

If I decide I’m not good enough or I can't do something.

Then I will prove myself right!

If I decide that this is something I want, like it's my next breath…

then I will push toward it!!!

When I first started my health and fitness plan...I had decided that is would be fun...it would be easy and I would have success. When I thought that way....I proved myself right!!

When I let someone steal my good and healthy idea about this journey away from me, then, I started thinking about what she said and then I decided it was hard and frustrating and I would never make it to my goal. And guess what!!!! Right now I'm proving myself right!! I stuck in a frustrating plateau, I'm not having fun and this is not easy. And I'm definitely not feeling very enthusiastic about my journey!

So I'm taking it back!!

I've decided that this journey is fun....it is easy and fascinating!! Do you know if you look at this like a scientist and keep trying and testing and doing and going forward...You will find the right mix for you and you will have success. I've done this in the past. I've lost over 60+ pounds (used to be more but I was listening to my defeated friends advise and I was going backwards) NOT ANY MORE!!!!

Losing weight and getting fit is something I want. I do want it like I want my next breath. And I am pushing towards my goals....EVERY DAY!!!!!

How about you....Did someone steal something from you.  Something you need for your success? If so, take it back. TAKE IT BACK NOW!!

This years mantra.....NO FEAR!!!!!

Now get out there and lets get this done!!

No Fear!!!

Falling

In the past 2 months, I've had 4 significant falls. One just today. First time I fell off of a step ladder. I thought I had all four legs on the driveway...instead I had only 3 legs on firm ground and with that I fell off of the top step, onto the concrete, landing on my elbow and ribs.

Next fall...I was walking down the stairs at work. I just let go of the handrail and I fell from the third stair from the bottom. I fell on my right knee, onto concrete again!

Next fall....Again I was on the top step of a step ladder (you'd think I would be more careful) and I just took a step back and fell right to the ground. This time, not on concrete, but I took a hard enough spill.

Then today, I was innocently on my way to put some bird food out and I took a step toward the stairs on my deck and I did not realize how icy it was and I fell down 3 stairs, landing with my back crashing into the stairs.

I tell you all of these falls hurt....a lot!!!! But you know what? I did not get hurt. No broken bones or permanent damage. Just a little aches and pains!!

I also know that if I were not in good shape and as heavy as I am here....

I do know that I would have had some serious injuries!!!

SO if nothing else.....getting fit and thinner helps in more ways than just what shows on that scale.

Keep up the great work my Friends. We've got this!!

Stay focused!!

A glance back to 2012

It's hard for me to measure success....well, it's hard, because I've put so much emphasis on the scale that it's hard for me to really see the good things that happened this year.

I did not lose the 50 pounds that I wanted, but I did come in 5 pounds less than last year. For a lot of the year I was down around the 200 mark and did not break though to 199. Unfortunately during the fall time, I lost my way a little and had gained about 11 pounds back. I did come to my senses about mid November and I've gotten 6 of those pounds off. Yes even during the holidays!

Just a couple of pictures to show my progress. Sometimes I even forget how far I've come!

Other 2012 highlights!

First off my son is OK. He ended up...because of his POOR DIET of fast food, with an enlarged gall bladder. It actually caused him to faint! He went through a bunch of doctors visits, tests, scary moments and about $5000 to find out that fast food is not good for him. Ouch!! I think he's learned his lesson and is changing his life. Too bad it takes most of us an major event to happen before we will change our lifestyle.

I got active in 2012! I started running about mid February. OK it's a military shuffle, but at least it's faster than my normal walk. I started training for my first 1/2 Marathon that was to be in May. That was my only goal. Well I did do that event, plus three more 1/2 Marathons, one 8k and four 5k's for a total of nine running events from May to December! My pace time, when I first started, was an 18 minute mile and I ended up with a 13 minute mile. Not too bad for a newbie!

I got my toe wet a little with rowing. I took my first Sweep Row class this summer. I did pretty well and found that I'm a competent rower. I loved it and will be taking the next class this next summer.

Another fun thing was I finally got up on water skis!!! I was so excited to finally be able to do that!! I was also able to surf like a wild woman!! Such a fun thing to do!!

Last winter I completed a fitness challenge at my gym. I did not win, but I got a lot of time in at the gym and on the treadmill. I definitely moved a lot this year!

I think that's it for the year!

Really looking forward to 2013.

Time to Re~Boot my life!

Stay focused!

Good Health is Important!!

Before I got myself under control, I had no problem with eating fast food. I remember thinking, well a hamburger is just bread, beef and veggies and fries, well they are just potatoes with a little oil. Oh and soda, of course the real thing is bad, so I would have diet. How bad could this be?

Well.......It's bad!!!!!

Yesterday, my son passed out. He was fine one minute with no pain and the next thing he knew he was waking up in an ambulance with severe pain in his stomach.

He's a big guy, maybe fifty pounds over weight and he eats primarily fast food and lots of soda and its not diet.

He found out that his gall bladder is enlarged and it's due to eating high fat foods.

He's 30!!!

I've been telling him for years that he needs to change his diet. He tries for a while, but gives up because it's just not convenient to eat healthy.

Now guess what....he gets to eat bread, rice, crackers and applesauce for now until he sees a specialist. He feels like his world has fallen....and he's not sure he wants to get up!

Anyway, at this tender age of 30, he gets to dive into the world of health care to try to remedy the damage that he has done to his body.

All of this because of convenience and bad choices.

He's known for quite some time that he needs to make a lifestyle change. I figured it would take a life changing event to get him into action. Hopefully he will listen to this one and make some changes!

He's just like me and maybe many others.....we waited until something drastic happens before we made a change. So sad that we did not make our decisions before damage is done.

So....He's off to the specialist today. Hopefully he will hear that this is repairable. Hopefully he will hear that he needs to make some changes. Hopefully he will make those changes!!

Our lives are so precious. One day you are out doing what you do and the next thing you know, you're laying in a hospital bed. I rather be there from some epic accident while running or rowing or having fun, than to be there because of the foods I eat or the carelessness of my choices.

Anyway, are you waiting for your wake up call???? Or are you ready to get your health in order today?

Lets do it!!

Keep focused!

My Journey So Far....

May your journey be filled with roses!

If I had only known how much energy and time it takes to lose 125 pounds, I would have never started this journey in the first place.  Because it's just too daunting, overwhelming, time consuming, frustrating, frightening, and scary! 

All those things are true for me, but on that fateful day back on January 1, 2010 something happened...Even with my fears, I decided to give it try anyway. I was going to make some changes in my life!

How it worked for me was really quite simple and easy. I just simply broke down each thing I needed to do, on the journey and started moving towards my goals of good health and fitness! One baby step at a time!! I did not incorporate every thing that I'm doing today all at once. I just took one thing at a time and then I focused and stayed determined and kept reaching for my goals. Oh yeah....and I had a plan!

First up!

I had to decide to try!

Once that happened, then it was just about making small  healthy changes ~ EVERY DAY!

At first, I decided to take just a year to focused on my health.

Then the next thing I did was to journal my food. (All of it) Just journalling what I ate - no calories. (It was shocking and eye opening to see what I really ate each day)

At the time, I had a lot of other medical problems. Lots of them! And I decided that those little things needed to be included in my goals to great fitness! So I worked with my doctors and we got each thing taken care of. Success!!

As I started to feel better, I had more energy to do more towards reaching my goals. I started exercising. It was mostly walking on my treadmill, stairs etc. Each day I would increase my activity level, always recording my efforts in my journal. NEED TO KEEP TRACK OF STUFF ~ So important to see my progress!

As time went on and as my knowledge increased about health and fitness, I started adding new things to my daily regiment. Not only was I logging in my food in my journal, I started counting calories, then I increased my activity level, started drinking my water, started blogging my journey, I learned how to over come injuries and set backs. I just would pick myself up each time and kept pushing forward. Then as I got more confident I eliminated things that were bad for me....fast food, soda, sweets. Another important part, of the process, was I formed my "team" to help me on my way. I got a personal trainer, nutritionist, doctors, family, friends, accountability partner, blogging friends and of course the Lord to help me with all aspects of the journey. I can't do this on my own!!

The coolest thing is....I set out to only focus on my journey for 1 year. But after that one year came and I lost 50 pounds, I decided that I was not done and I wanted to keep going. So I did. I'm now in this journey for 2 and 1/2 years and I know, that I have about 2 more years to get the rest of the weight off. Seems soooooooo long, but in reality, time is going by anyway and I am in no hurry. I want to do this the slow and normal way. No surgeries, no fad diet plans or crazy stuff. It's just sensible eating (low carb/fat), exercise and focus. I'm telling you it works!!

Also, because I'm losing weight so slow, I don't have to deal with  too much loose skin. Bonus! 

I guess the bottom line is.....Losing a significant amount of weight....takes time, effort, determination and grit!! Just knowing that...really knowing that, it helps to take the pressure off. Helps make the journey more fun. The extra time, it takes to lose weight, also helped me learn why I allowed myself to get to this place, it helped me really learn how to eat healthy, how to exercise, how to recover from injuries, how to work through disappointments and frustrations and setbacks. And the more you do something, it becomes a habit. It's just what you do!!

Another thing.....What worked in the beginning does not always work as you go along, I have had to tweak and modify my plan all along the way, which takes the monotony out of the journey. Keeps it fresh and interesting.

Now the new thing that I'm working on is. I have always wondered why I can give 100% to my employer, but when it comes to me, I would always let myself down. I mean I go to work even if I don't feel well or if I'm bored, sad, happy, well fed, over fed, tired, excited etc etc.... But when it comes to me and my personal needs, I will let all of those things (feelings) derail me from my goals. I could never understand why I do this....well what I've come up with is......I never ever ever put any type of emotion or feeling into whether I go to work or not. It's just what I do. My feelings don't interfere with whether I get there or not. I just do it!! I mean, if I treated my employer like I treat myself, I would be fired! For sure!!

I realize that I put EMOTION & FEELINGS into other things that are important to me and my health. Such as, I put emotion on to my food...I look at my food, like it's my best friend. I put my emotions first when deciding if I want to go to the gym or not. I allow my feelings to stop me from doing the right thing. If I'm too tired or sore, or bored or whatever, I will not go or do the right thing. Instead of just remembering that there is no feeling about going to the gym or doing the right thing. It's just what I do.....Every day!

You see once you start the journey, you will discover all kinds of cool and amazing stuff out about yourself. Not only stuff like I was talking about above, but also, you will find out how strong you really are. I cannot believe the things I can do now. Before I started my journey, I felt like I was 3 minutes away from being bed bound. I just could not move my body. Now I can run and walk for miles, squat, stand for long periods of time, I can jump rope, do jumping jacks, lunge, water ski, surf, roller skate, bike, garden.....and the list goes on and on!! Not only that, but I'm strong now. I used to fall a lot, because I was just not strong enough to stop myself from falling down. I mean I have a 3 inch scar on my arm from when I fell onto a glass bowl! I just did not have the strength to stop myself. Now I catch myself all the time. Think what that will do to help myself when I get older!! No broken bones for this gal!!

Other benefits......Normal cholesterol, lower blood pressure, no diabetes and on and on!

So even though the journey is hard, sometimes frustrating and long suffering, it's the best decision I've ever made. Because you know what? I'm worth it and so are you!!

So that's my story. The journey's not over, it's on-going and I will press on and reach my goals!

How about you...Are you willing to try?

Keep focused!!

Lost my way...

I'm in the weirdest funk that I've ever been on this journey. While I'm not doing EVERYTHING I KNOW I NEED TO DO....yet still maintaining my weight loss...I find myself kind of lost and unsure where and what I need to be doing. Still eating healthy, for the most part. I'm drinking water, barely journaling my food, exercising, running mostly, but just the bare minimum to be able to run my race on the 21st of the month.Obviously I'm not blogging like I should....I'm not even reading anything, well anything that would be helpful for my weight loss and fitness journey.

I know those who have been with me, all this time, are wondering what I'm up to.

Just like when I look at someone and see potential all over them. I want to say, and sometimes I do, that if they would just focus, just do what they need to do, and be consistent, then they will be the person they were designed to be.

I'm sure my loved ones are thinking the same thing for me......If only she would get this done......

Things have changed, my employer is no longer paying for my trainer. Though the trainer costs are reasonable, I still am not able to pay for it. Since I lost my trainer, I've not lifted weights. I'm taking a row class, which takes 2 nights away. It's exercise, so that's good, it's just different and out of my ordinary schedule. I've been super busy at work and even had to work late many days. That throws me off and makes me tired. Wah wah wah.....There's so much more going on. Lets just say, right now, I have a serious lack of motivation, time and money. Nuf said!

Anyway......even though I have all of these woes. It does not and should not matter. That even though...whatever it is...I still have other options and things I can do, for my weight loss and fitness journey, until my schedule is normal again.

My problem....really.....is lack of motivation!!!

Until I read a post from Choosing Joy. Do you know her? If not, I recommend you get to know her. Talk about Nuggets of Truth. She's got them and she unloaded a truckload of truth today. Her post titled "If you want to be great, act great" spoke to me in ways, that even I don't quite understand. Let me just tell you....That it fired me up!

And it's true. I have the power to change my attitude right this very minute. Ten minutes ago, I felt defeated and frankly, I felt like a big fat loser...not in a great weight loss way, but just a loser in this journey.

Now because of this post, I'm reaching to be great....not just thinking about it. But I'm going after it!

You can to!! Do you want to be great? Act great!!

Keep focused!