What's it gonna take?

My friend Paula @ Paulawannacracker, had this awesome post today and asked this question:

What grade would you give your *efforts* for staying on track?

Well I would give myself a D-....

I do some things right, but many things wrong....Lately, I'm just not willing to put the whole package together and I'm not sure why!

Some of you out there rock! You're making big stuff happen!!!! How do you do it? How do you have time to do everything you need to do. How do you stay focused? How do you remember everything? How do you set a goal and hit it?

I exercise 5-6 days per week and I work really hard. I eat a clean diet for "most" of the day and then I usually blow it. Won't stay out of stuff. As I'm writing, I keep wanting to say "can't", but the reality is I just won't do what I have to do, I won't focus, I won't! It's frustrating!

Why, at this point, with having some success, would I choose to struggle now? What is the deal?

I have said that I would like to lose 20 pounds by Christmas and I just joined a challenge at my gym, where if I'm the big loser I could win some prizes. I would love to do this, but if I don't get it together it will never happen. What does it take to make goals happen?

Anybody been here? Any suggestions? Is this a seasonal thing.....is this disobedience....is this a set back (well obviously)....Am I doomed?

Any thoughts?

I have to say, that I've been able to answer these questions. Obviously I'm capable, I've lost 51 pounds so far. But right now my head is fuzzy on how to push through this. It's almost like...yesterday I could tell you how to do this and today I don't have a clue.....Like there's nothin's in my noggin'. Does that make sense? It's perplexing. Maybe I'm tired. Not sure what's up. Just feeling really lost right now.

Chris I need a %&$ kickin' just about now!

Hugs!

Changing Seasons...

January 2010 I started my health and fitness journey. It's such an easy time to get started on a health plan, because every body's doing it. OK well a lot of people start their plan, go to the gym, buy exercise equipment and so on. So it's a great time to get started!

I got through the winter months and did pretty well with my plan. Surprisingly I was still focused when Spring hit and slid into summer without a problem.

Fall's here and I'm struggling!! Comfort food is calling my name and I'm starting to listen. I am so craving stew and cornbread, stroganoff, chili and soup. I know I can make these things low fat, meatless and I can use whole grain noodles. But that's not what I want ~ I want the real deal!!

The other thing....my time!! Tuesday's are my water aerobics day. So last night, I get home from work and I totally forgot about my class. Did not even think about it until it was almost over. Truth be told....I had a fabulous night. Did what I wanted to do. I lit the candles, turned on all of my mood lighting, paid some bills, folded laundry and then watched the Biggest Loser. I had a great night! I really had fun, all hunkered down in my cozy home...But I forgot about my class!!!

Then tonight I wanted to go to the gym, but by the time I got home, I started losing my enthusiasm. Then hubby came home, making it even harder to leave. He said, "Well, why don't you stay home, you can go to the gym tomorrow." I thought about it for about a minute.....and decided to go!!!

So glad I did. I had a great workout!!!

The other thing that I'm struggling with is, I find that I'm needing to go to bed earlier and I'm having a hard time waking up on time. So frustrating!!!

We are barely into fall...and Christmas is just around the corner and I'm am struggling....I am worried with the busyness of everything and the desire to stay at home, that I will abandon my plan....Yikes!

Fortunately I did do something that may help....I joined a fitness challenge at my gym. It starts next Monday. Part of the deal is I get a nutrition class scheduled in October, a holiday survival class scheduled in November and a stress management class scheduled in December. I get a free body comp and 1 free hour with my trainer. Whoever loses the most weight by the end of December gets a prize. I am pretty excited about this...I think it would be so awesome to win this contest!!! I hope this will get me energized and help me get through the holidays!

Anyway, my question to you is.....what do you do when you struggle with the changing of the seasons? How do you stay on your plan, when you would really like to be doing something else?

Hugs!

Is you driver's license accurate?

I just checked my driver's license and I am finally smaller than the weight listed on the card!

I know I'm weird, 20 plus years ago, when I got my Oregon license, I listed my real weight which was 228 pounds.

When the licensed was renewed last year I was over 273 pounds and the DMV person did not say a thing about changing it to the correct weight....I was probably the joke of the day. I can just hear them talking about the really fat lady trying to pull off that she was 228 pounds, when I was clearly a lot heavier than that!

Won't be long before I will need to get a new license!! Too bad, I actually like the picture on this one.

Have you checked your license lately? Have you lost so much weight that you have to get a new one?

Hugs!

Trying to find balance

I am up 2.4 pounds. Why you might ask? Poor planning, self indulgence and it's fall time!!


I absolutely love the fall. My house has been decorated for fall since the middle of September! I love the food, weather, smells and the cozy days and nights!!

This weekend our son and his new bride came home to visit. Of course that means a party right? So last week I went shopping for all of the food and goodies for this "event"! I filled my shopping cart with yummy goodness and displayed it on the belt for the cashier to check me out. I was mortified by what I saw. I thought, this load of food and goodies does not look like it belongs to someone who is trying to lose weight and get fit. Yeah there were some veggies and some healthy things, but the bulk of it was junk food!

But it's fall, that means I must buy candy and goodies right. I mean I need my comfort food!!!

Well I did the damage. I bought everything. Came home and displayed my love for the family with Mama's "love" language ~ Goodies & Sweets! We had candy corn ~ only because I have this glass pumpkin that is so cute when it it full of the stuff. Fortunately I don't like candy corn and will only eat them in a case of emergency. I hope to never get that desperate ~ They are yucky, but oh so cute! Then of course we had sour candies for my boys, M&M's for the grand baby. and Carmel just in case we wanted to make Carmel apples. Well that not so bad, except....

I also wanted to make cupcakes for my grand daughter. She likes to help me decorate, so I bought two cake mixes. I wanted to make 24 cupcakes so everybody could take some home. So I made up my "TWO" cake mixes and finally read the box and realized that each box makes 24 cupcakes. We ended up with over 48 cupcakes!!! YIKES!!!!

Well I do have a little common sense left....Up to that moment I had not had any sweets yet, so I still had a brain. So I bagged up the left over cupcakes and threw them in the freezer and we frosted 24 for the family. My grand daughter is 2 1/2 and she helped me decorate them. I can't believe she stayed with me the whole time. They were beautiful!!

Then we went to the apple farm. Can I tell you that I did lose my mind there! We bought the most beautiful, huge, crispy apples, and we bought some candied somethings...I don't even know what they are, but they were good and we bought candy coated Carmel. Fortunately, instead of diving into the sweets right away, I decided to tackle an apple first. It was delicious!! By the time I was done with it, I no longer craved the other sweets. Whew!!! But I ended up only having a couple and I was done (Usually, we eat half a bag of goodies even before we get home) So there is some progress!!!!

That night we had a wonderful dinner. A culinary delight I might add. My son and hubby are quite the cooks. We had Jamaican Jerk BBQ'd Chicken with sauteed Mushrooms, a Veggie medley of carrots, sweet peas, onions and garlic, rice pilaf, cheddar biscuits and pumpkin bars for dessert. The evening weather was wonderful and warm. We lit our canopy lights, fire pit and table candles. The atmosphere was amazing. Everything pulled together so well, the texture and taste of the food, the atmosphere and company, well it was indescribable ~ I had a blast!! (OK I'm back now!!!)

So needless to say, I'm up 2+ pounds. The extra food did not help, but I also did not exercise for 3 days and forgot to take my meds ~ which can account for a pound or so.

Yesterday, I gathered the left over candy, put it in a box for next time and put it on a high shelf, way out of my reach and I froze the left over pumpkin bars, cupcakes, oh and I forgot that I made poppy seed muffins too. They all went into the freezer. Thankfully once something is out of sight I forget about it, as long as I keep myself well fed with healthy things.

I'm back on task today, already exercised and had my oatmeal, worked half a day and had a great healthy lunch. I will keep focused and remember how I feel today, so that the next time, I will prepare and handle myself better so that I don't set myself up for these little set backs.

Getting through this first food eating event was difficult. How do you handle them?

Hugs!

Cherry on Top Award

Thank you wholeheartedly for this blog award from my friends Traci and Sinn. I so appreciate you both for thinking of me and honoring me with this award.

I encourage you my friends, to check out their blogs. These ladies are really accomplishing much in their journey to health and fitness. I know you will be Blessed getting to know them!!! They have truly Blessed my life!!

Ok, so the deal with this award is that I need to:

1. Answer the question: If you had one chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?

I wish I would have taken the opportunity to know the Lord well before I was 36 years old. I would love to see where I would be in my life if I would have listened to Him and did things His way instead of my own way..... I might have made better choices and maybe saved myself some grief!

2. Pick 6 people and give them this award. You then have to inform the person that they have been selected for the award.

Blog Myself Thin

Lilyfluffbottom

Lori Lynn at Sunflower Daisies

cd100.blogspot.com/

Janeisweighingin

Fired and fat

3. You have to thank the person (people) who gave you the award. (See above)

Have a Blessed day!

Hugs!!

I think my mind is playing tricks on me....

Have you ever been in denial? When I was 274 pounds I thought I looked pretty good, thought I was healthy and just a "little" over weight.

So the reality of my plight showed itself to me and I realized that I was as big as 2 people. My body was breaking down and I was heading for some really serious health problems.

I've lose 51 pounds so far....and things are changing so fast for me that my head is spinning.

I think I have reverse denial!!!! My mind is playing tricks on me....

We flew to Colorado a couple of weeks ago. OK my fat, obese, soon to be healthy and fit friends....what's the first thing you think about when you know you're going to fly? OMG will I fit in the sit? Will the little armrest come down between me and the other passenger? Will my fat flow over to their side? What will I do with my arms? Will I still need an extension for the seat belt or will it barely buckle?

Is the sweat building on your upper lip and forehead yet? Yikes!! I was in a panic! Not knowing what my 51 pound weight loss would get me, I bravely boarded that plane and took my seat. Fortunately I was with my hubby and if I was too fat to fit, he would let me put the arm rest up. That knowledge helped to relieve a little of my stress and apprehension! So I approached my seat and the arm rest was up already - whew!!!

So far so good, nothing bad has happened...I wait until the flight attendant is glaring at me before I buckle up and guess what!!!! It buckled and I had 3 inches of unused strap left. Wow!! I was really encouraged, so I put the arm rest down and I FIT!!!! WITH ROOM TO SPARE. OMG!!!!!

Here's where the denial kicked in. I thought, well I fit now, not because of weight loss, but because the airline must have put in new larger seats and larger seat belts.

Naw...could it be possible that I fit because I'm smaller? My mind can hardly comprehend the reality of this change!!

The other denial...same week!!

The place where we camp has really nice rest rooms. Except the stalls, with doors, are really short, narrow and hard to get in to. Last year, when I was heavier, I could barely fit. I had to finagle my body through, I mean I really had to skinny myself in. I remember thinking that if I were any fatter, I could not close the doors.

This year, I rushed in, well I always rush because the bathroom is far away and I always wait until the last minute to go....anyway I get myself into the stall and could not believe that I did not have to finagle this time. I fit with ease!!!

My mind is so funny, it's not grasping what's happening yet. I think, well...they've just made the stalls bigger. I literally stopped to look at the floor to see where the stalls used to be. Nope, there was no new construction, the floor had the old tiles, no changes had been made to that stall. There were just changes in me!!!

And finally....I have a hard time with my favorite clothes store Lane Bryant. For some reason, I think there is a conspiracy and they are messing me. I think that they are just making huge clothes and labeling them size 14-16 just to make me feel better about myself. That this store really labels their clothes smaller on purpose.

I really had to go to other stores to see if I really do fit into a size 14-16....AND I DO!!!

One more thing...I have been working my plan and it works for me. Other people I read about are really strict and have super clean food and super strict exercise routines. I am not so good. I get in sweets sometimes, I don't always do EVERYTHING that I'm supposed to do. I do keep my calories within a 1500-1600 range so my guess it works. Well obviously it does.

Anyway I'm struggling because my plan is not perfect, and then my mind thinks that it should not be working. I am fighting to keep focused on what is working for me and making myself focus and not jump off of my plan and doing what somebody else is doing. It's like my mind can't be happy with what I'm doing. My plan is not good enough blah..blah..blah...You're not perfect....It's taking so long...BLAH!!! But it working. I'm losing weight (slowly), I'm enjoying myself and this is something I can do for the rest of my life!! IT'S WORKING!!!!

This mind of mine.....Geez!!

I am thrilled with what's going on and I am so trying to get it in my head that what I'm doing is working. I plan to keep pushing through with what I know and what works for me.

Does your mind play tricks on you?

Hugs!

Best Compliment Ever!!!

My sweet hubby gave me the best compliment ever!! He put a picture of me on his computer desk top.

In all our years together, I think he's carried one picture of me in his wallet. This picture was taken over 20 some years ago, when I was a lot thinner than I am today.

Since he's had his computer he's had camping pictures, pictures of our dogs, grand kids and a picture of his bike. But never of me.

I was delighted to see he had one of me in my new outfit.

This is big for me, as you know, I'm not keen on having my picture taken. But I'm glad he has this one and he likes it!!!

What's the best compliment you've received since your started your journey?

Hugs!!!