Thursday, January 6, 2011

Trying to Hold ON!!

This will be short! I have no energy, my body is riddled with pain and I feel I'm slipping away from my desire to get this weight off and to reach my health and fitness goals. I am in a battle for my life right now!!!

I have struggled for some time to get my attitude in the right place. Now I'm feeling better there, but my body does not want to cooperate. I am in some serious pain all over!!

Head still feels funny, kind of like the tension headache feeling. It's so distracting. I have 2 pimples on my face (I know I'm almost 50 why do I keep getting them!?!?!!) they hurt so bad. I feel like they are beacons they are so bright red and very painful!!! My sinuses are blocked and I have had a seriously painful sore in my nose that will not heal. Then the roof of my mouth is raw and sore and to top it off both ears are plugged one minute and draining the next. The inside of my ears are very raw. And I have 2 dry patches on my eye that will not heal up!!

That's just what's happening on my head!

The tennis elbow and knees still bothering me. Some good days, most bad. But the worse problem is my back. I can hardly move! Well I can move, but it's extremely painful. I have a dr appt tomorrow. Hope to get some relief.

I have had 4 injuries since last January and I'm am just tired of fighting through. Really not a lot of strength left. I'm feeling my body succumb to the stress and it's puffing up and I'm still up 5 pounds. (Well I would lose a couple, then gain them back - augh!)

Frustrating!!!

I don't like to complain about this stuff. I am the encourager....I don't like to share my pain. But I'm in serious trouble and have to let you know what's up.

Not looking for sympathy. Just giving the state of what's going on in Joy's world.

Want you to know....that there is a minimal amount of desire to keep going...but it's dwindling.

Help!!

Trying to stay focused!

10 comments:

  1. Honesty is a good step toward dealing with an issue--no matter what. Seek the help of your
    Dr. and when physical things are dealt with, the emotional piece may fall into place. Everything's connected: mind, body, spirit. Best to you...

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  2. Sorry to hear you're struggling. I totally can relate, though not physically, but mentally. Hang in there. I know it's easier said that done, but take one minute at a time! :-)

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  3. Oh Joy, I am so sorry. I can see why you feel defeated and miserable with all those ailments and pain. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers today. It won't always be like this. Hang on and let your body and mind heal. Can you take a few days off to recoup and take care of yourself? Maybe a long hot bath with a good book to start. You are worth some TLC and you do so much for other people. I hope you feel better soon and that your down thoughts will be lifted. ((((((hugs))))))))

    ~Margene

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  4. Joy,

    In my eight months of blogging, this is the one thing I have found so frustrating about the relationships we build. Yes, they become important to us and we truly care about each other. But the bottom line is, you are on the west coast, I am near the east coast and what you need is someone who can physically hold your hand and share your pain. That's how we are taught in Scripture to "bear one another's burdens." I can't do that and it makes me sad. All I can use is words and those words are, "do the next right thing, one after another." Don't try to picture a month from now or even tomorrow. Just focus on today. Be still and use your imagination. What will help you TODAY? Anything else will seem overwhelming and thus the urge to "quit." Don't quit, please. You have far too much progress behind you and far too much potential ahead of you. If I'd been the one that won that $355 Megamillions lottery jackpot, I'd be on a plane to Oregon so fast your head would spin. We in BlogLand are here for you the best we can be, but I truly hope there is someone who can physically hold your hand, listen to you, cry with you and tell you how beautiful you really are. That is my prayer for you today!

    Sharon

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  5. Hey Kiddo, it's not complaining...it just is what is happening. Gosh, sounds like you're going through a lot. I've had a lot of health issues too and it seemed like every time I'd start to lose weight I'd get hit by something or another. Do the best you can. Don't worry about losing, but try to maintain all that hard work you've put in so far because you will get better and want to lose weight again. Don't let that go. Just eat reasonably and get yourself better and soon! (((hugs))

    PS - no matter what your health issues are, you will feel even worse if you gain back all the weight you lost.

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  6. YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!

    I stand here (sit really) between 15lbs-25lbs heavier then I was last summer. Believe me I know, you do NOT want to let go of what you've done. Don't go down that road!

    If I were in front of you, I'd be lovingly grabbing you by the shoulders, looking you straight in the eyes and says "Joy, you can do this! Do NOT let go of all your hard work! you are WORTH this fight. FIGHT IT GIRL! Fight it with ALL your might!"

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  7. Sorry to hear you're in a rough patch - it happens to all of us! You've done such a great job so far, and as hard as it seems now, toughing this out will be unbelievably rewarding! (As far as physical pain, though, I would suggest talking to a doctor since you don't want to seriously injure yourself.) ♥ I'm rooting for you! You can do it!!!

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  8. I'm sorry, sweetie. Have you seen a doctor about those head symptoms? You could have strep. You should get checked out before it gets any worse.

    I know how you feel about complaining. I always want to put a positive spin on everything, but that just isn't reality.

    Feel better, soon.

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  9. Joy, you are ALWAYS the ever encourager, but you are also human and I don't want you to consider it weak to express frustration and anger over things that are beyond your control. You need to let go of that kind of release or you will head down a road you do NOT want to be down. Take control of what you can: ie, Dr. visit; get some proper meds, rest that back so you don't keep injuring it over and over and once you get a proper diagnosis and you know what you're dealing with, exercise modifications CAN be done while you are healing. There is always an alternative - ALWAYS. We are here to brainstorm, support and carry you if you need it, so bring it on, and DON'T GIVE UP!!

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  10. Joy!! Hang in there. This, too, will pass! You have come so far. So very far. You have inspired so many people, too. Drink water. Lots of it. Try other things to keep your mind off of everything else, like:
    1. Keep writing your thoughts down on your blog. We are here to surround you with our arms of support.

    2. Read other new blogs and encourage others to keep going.

    3.You may remember Gilda Radner from Saturday Night Life. She wrote a book called: It's always something. Read this book (I bet you can get it from the library). It is a memoir about her life and battle with ovarian cancer. In true Gilda fashion though it is humorous and insightful.

    Here's a couple great youtube with her to keep your spirits up:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfIVOPWs_4o&NR=1

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7gLJr03vNQ

    Keep going, Joy!!! You will get through this!!! Michele

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