You see I have these five wooden letters on my wall, that really mean something to me. Unfortunately the first two letters fell off the wall early January and now....the third one came down.
All this kind of feels about where I am right now. I have been struggling with getting stuff done...from being the woman I want to be....from living the life I want to live....from reaching my goals. I AM STRUGGLING!!! So while I was on my treadmill, I was thinking about the letters falling from the wall and I was thinking....Is this a sign? Is someone telling me I've lost it. Is there something in the last two remaining letters? AM...What could they mean? What is this about?
Am I losing my DREAM?
Once again, I've got that race horse caught in the gate feeling. It's like I'm in the gate, I'm ready, I'm pushing at the gate, but it won't open. So now I'm in the stall, I'm ready to go and I'm frustrated and mad because I can't get out. I wrote about this feeling before, November 2010, and when re-reading the post, I'm realizing that....I'm in the same place as before....I'm still not ready!!
For the love!!!!.....What in the world is stopping me from at least trying to make things happen?
My hopes of rowing, of being a runner, of being the woman I want to be, of helping other people, of living the life of my dreams.....seems to be ebbing away from me........I'm losing it....I'm losing my letters!
So what do I do....well first off, I'm adhering those letter right back up on that wall and today.....I'm going to do something to reach for my goals. I'm not going to give in and accept failure. I'm pushing through!!
Can I do it? Can you?