At my Bible study last week, one of the ladies asked for prayer, she was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She asked us to pray that she would be weak.
All week long I have been trying to understand what she wanted in that prayer. Why would she want us to pray that she would be weak? It is opposite of what I would have asked for and that would be strength. I would imagine you would need strength to survive breast cancer.
What she said was, she knows that she is a strong woman, but she wants to be weak so she can rely on the Lords strength. She wants Him to work mightily in her through this situation. She does not want to go through it in her own strength.
OK that makes sense to me, but being a strong woman myself, I still did not think I could be willing to be weak or have anyone see me be weak.
To be honest, I am weak!
Since January, I have been fighting physically to get this weight off. I have pushed myself harder than I've ever pushed. I have worked through 2 injuries, physical therapy, doctors visits after doctors visits, chronic ear pain, drug reactions, knee and feet pain, wounds not healing and it goes on and on. I just feel like I can't push through anymore. I am tired of feeling pain.
I am at a crossroad in my life and I have some choices to make. If I stop walking and lifting weights, the immediate pain will stop in my knees, calves, feet and in my growing muscles. Maybe if I stop swimming and get out of the pool, my ears will heal and stop hurting. Maybe if I stop trying so hard I would stop hurting and feel better.
I do not want to be weak, but I think that is exactly where I need to be. I know that I cannot do this journey on my own, that I need the Lord and His strength to help me make it through this journey to the end.
I have decided that I will take the right path. I will not stop or give up, I will choose to keep on fighting ~ But not in my strength, in His.
'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. Zechariah 4:6
Are you willing to be weak, so you can be strong?