Friday, October 1, 2010

Just so stupid for so many reasons

OK it's 10:15pm....I'm tired, I still have my street clothes and make up on, I've been reading too many blogs ~ my eyes hurt, I did not do anything I said I would do tonight, I should be in bed - because I want to get up @ 7am tomorrow and get to the gym, I'm scared to get out of my chair - because I just heard a noise that sounded like a gun shot (my curtains are open and the lights are on - I'm a total...huge....TARGET!), and I ate 3 cookies, some candy corn (Ack...I hate the stuff) and some cearl while reading weight loss blogs......Stupid huh?

Is there any hope for me?

I feel like I'm going crazy...I get my focus, lose my focus, hate myself, worry about everything...Then I get my focus, lose my focus...Do you get the picture?

I really think, the bottom line with this little slump I'm in is I need to quit fretting, worrying, and fussing about what's not happening....and I just need to make stuff happen!!!

I need to do what I say I'm going to do, work hard, stay focused and drive this baby home....

I can do this....Right? I mean what's the big deal. I've been doing it for 9 months and I can keep on doing it. Nothings stopping me!

I'm going to get restarted....This time with a new urgency, determination and a steadfast resolve that I'm going to get this done.

Nuff said....NO MORE WHINING!!!!



  1. Good night Joy. See you in the morning. I have a jack post coming tomorrow that i think you will like. No more cereal. No more candy corn, no more candy period.

  2. Thank you, Joy, for following my blog!

    I am praying that as you get back on track, everything goes well for you. Like you've said- you've done this for 9 months- and as I see, you've lost 50 pounds- so of course you can do this!

  3. I found these Bible verses that might help. :-) I hope you have a good weekend!

    (I Peter 5:6-7) 6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time; 7 casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you.

    (Matthew 6:31-34) 31 “Therefore don’t be anxious, saying, ‘What will we eat?’, ‘What will we drink?’ or, ‘With what will we be clothed?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore don’t be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day’s own evil is sufficient."

  4. Good Morning Joy,

    I've been incredibly busy the last two days and just now catching up in my reader meaning I've read your last two posts consecutively. Both have a tone of discouragement and I'm really sorry. My hope is you are feeling better this morning. But realistically, sounds like you are in a rough patch, so probably not.

    If it is as beautiful in your town today as it is in mine, I'd encourage you to spend most of the day outdoors doing something you enjoy and getting some exercise at the same time. As much as BlogLand motivates me (and it does!), I've also learned that reading blogs for hours on end can have the opposite effect especially when I'm struggling and everyone else seems to have weight falling off effortlessly. I know better, but when you're in a funk, everything seems out of kilter even mindgames. You are asking the questions and I think that's a great beginning. I think you know we can't provide any new material in the way of answers that you don't already know. Just know for certain that your friends are here, we will be here through the struggle and we will still be here when you reach your goal.


  5. hi Joy, thanks for stopping by my blog!! wow you have lost 50 pounds, that is great!!

    It is hard to keep the momentum going, BUT you have come soo far why quit or even slow down now??

    you are doing great!!

  6. You know exactly what you have to do, Joy. Now DO IT! Maybe try making a weekly goal? Heck - start with a daily goal and try to accomplish it. I don't know if you're into challenges, but I just joined one for October that has already helped me avert a bad decision (too much coffee!). Pop by and check it out if you're interested.
    Long story short, I know you have it in you. You are a great inspiration to me because of all you've been able to accomplish so far. Keep it up!

  7. I know you are a religous person, have you ever noticed in the bible, the people seem really fical? One minute their obeying the laws, doing what they should, and the next... their not. That use to really bother me, until I realized... that's what life is all about!! And even more - I do it too!!! Just because I have it figured out today, doesn't mean I have it figured out for tomorrow. It's about recommitting ourselves each new day to... whatever it is we choose to commit to. So I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't hate yourself for following the same pattern that every human being who has ever walked this earth (with the exception of one) has done. Be human.

    In the book Intuitive Eating they talk about different types of voices in our head. One of which is the demeaning one. The one that wants us to feel guilty, to treat ourselves horribly, and comes down on us every time we do something it thinks we shouldn't do. But there are two other voices there that often get left out. One is the nurturer. The one that LOVES you and is kind to you. That wants you to be kind to yourself. I found that I have to listen really hard for this one. It's been burried for a LONG time. But you know what, just by listening for it, it's getting louder! The other is an observer. For instance, it observs the fact that you ate the cookies and candy corn (I actually do love candy corn! Yum! ;D). But that's it. It won't make any comment on it or judgment about it. I think the reason we need to recognize these other voices, is they bring us back to reality.

    Yes, I'll say it - listening to the voices in our head bring us to reality! Ha!

    Because the guilty voice, and the nurturing voice are biased. They both have some value though, but it's swimming through all of it to find it. And that's where the observer comes in. Because if you can look at the facts first, and then add feeling to it, you realize what is really going on, and if anything needs to change, you can do it lovingly. For example:

    The Observer: Today I ate 3 cookies and some candy corn. I wasn't hungry, but I ate it anyway. (no feeling here)

    The Guilty voice: (this is my voice saying things about me - not what I think your voice would say about you! I would never be that presumptious!) Gosh, that was awful of me, I must not have any self control at all! I really am going to gain all the weight back that I have lost if I keep this up. I better eat salad tomorrow.

    The nuturer: It's okay sweetheart, we all make mistakes. You have had a really hard day and you deserve a break. You'll do better next time.

    If you are able to hear all three of them, and you approach it with curiosity instead of judgment you might come out of it with something like: I did eat a little too much tonight. I wasn't hungry and I was eating because of XXX. I can see that eating like this does not make me very happy. Tomorrow I am going to try to be a little more XXX.

    See - still accountable, but still loving. That's the thing I'm really learning - we have GOT to love ourselves if we are ever going to see real change.

    Just the lesson that I've learned, thought you might like it too. Personally, I think you are so amazing! You are one of the most loving people I know in the blog world! Love yourself too Joy!!!

  8. Head up! Eyes focused! Heart involved! Determination! Will Power! YOU WILL PREVAIL!!! :)

  9. Sorry you're struggling. This weight loss "stuff" is difficult, and we sometimes need a "time-out" to regroup. You've been doing this for 9 months, so you know you can keep doing it. Sometimes if I change my plan just a bit, I find new resolve and incentive. Take care...