Monday, July 11, 2011

Day 92 - 7 Month Focus (Cry if I want to ~ Part 2)

"It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you"
IT'S MY PARTY by Lesley Gore

Well this is part 2...

First of all ~ thank you to everyone for your wonderful comments. I really appreciate you all!!! Could not do this journey without you!!!

After the blogger fiasco and my time running out yesterday, I had to go on to the next thing. My day did not get much better after that. Went to a meeting, which was fun, but the rest of the day was a bust. We are getting ready for a trip next week and I have many things to do and instead of getting things done, I sat and read all day. My poor hubby must think I'm nuts! One day I'm up and full of energy and busting out of the seams, then I'm down the next with no energy at all. Makes me nuts, I know it's got to make him nuts as well.

Anyway, on with the pity party. Oh yeah, I guess I was going there just a second ago. Geez!

I will never be able to recreate what I wrote yesterday. And maybe that's the point....


Something does not want this written. OK I'm determined now, I'm making this happen!

Here goes...

Yesterday, I wanted to write about what a failure I am and that I have no impact on people's lives.

I was given a vision many years ago of something I was supposed to do. Something big that would impact thousands. Seems every time I try to move toward that vision, I get bumped off, or I don't feel I have any impact with what I'm trying to do. I feel like I can't impact a few now, can't see how I'm ever going to impact thousands in the future. 

The thing I'm supposed to do is help people. And in my mind, I feel like I've not done a good enough job or all my efforts are for nothing. I don't get feed back so I don't have any way to judge how I'm doing. In my vision, I'm in front of thousands, so I can see who I'm influencing....In my day to day life, I can't see how what I do makes any difference.

So yesterday, I wanted to list all my failures and every time I tried, I could not think of any. Were there short comings in what I do. Yes, in my eyes, but when I really looked at what I have done, I was shown the bigger picture of how I impact others.


I do a lot of things for people at work. Things outside my scope of duties, things from my heart. Things I want to do to Bless them, yet I hardly ever hear a thank you ~ I don't even know, if what I do, makes a difference in their life. It's a lot of extra work and energy for me and there are times that I wonder if it's all worth it. Sometimes I just don't think it matters. Except when I am gone, I hear the office is just not right when I'm not there. It's gloomier and not as much fun. I guess I do have influence on 18 people every day! I have impact!

I go to the Portland Rescue Mission to serve food to Portland's needy. I work my butt of while I'm there. I rarely get a thank you and sometimes I get the "Death to  you look", so I don't know if what I do there impacts anything. Except that if I did not do what I do, maybe over 300 people would not get a meal that day. It could have been the only meal they had for the whole day. That is impact!

I help prepare communion for our church. It's a lot of work, most of the time thankless work. Nobody ever says a thing. But because of what I do, over 1400 people get to worship the Lord with the bread and the wine. Huge impact!

Raising you ever feel thanked for doing that? Probably not. I think back to all of the time, money and effort, blood, sweat and tears and of course prayers that I've done for my kids. I had influence over three of them and they all turned out great! Now because of them, I have 4 more people to add to my area of influence, my wonderful Son in law, Daughter in law and 2 grand babies....and that's just the start...with them all, I have an opportunity to impact generations to come!!! Amazing impact!

Every day I get to smile at strangers, pick up trash, hug people, send gifts or cards, pray for people, buy a $10 lemonade from a kid and Bless their socks off, teach, opens doors for others, give money and time, love, appreciate, counsel, laugh, touch, and spread joy. I have opportunities every day to influence others ~ to have impact.

Is what I do the grandiose version of reaching others that I saw in the vision? Maybe not, but it does not mean that I can't have the same amount of influence one person at a time. In the vision, I could see the ones I was influencing by the thousands. Right now I can only see how I impact others ~ one person at a time. I have impact!!!!

So don't ever let anyone or anything tell you that you don't matter and that you don't impact others. Because you do! For me, I'm not looking for the thanks or accolades that come with doing the good or right thing for others. I'm just going to do what I know to do. I'm going to be an influence where I can. I have impact!!!

Somebody really needs to hear this message. I had so much trouble writing this post. I got bumped out of the edit mode several times and I now have an error showing at the bottom and things are not working right. Take what you need from this. Understand that today, you can make a difference, you have impact!!!

Keep focused on your journey and influence where you can!


  1. You needed that post! I'm glad you did it. I am not surprised that you have that sort of a positive influence on those around you.

  2. your part two is so much interesting. I like your blogs.