Just got back from 2 days of visiting my sister and her family. Her 2nd oldest daughter got married and I was there to help my sister set up everything, be there for my niece and lend support to my Sis as the Mother of the Bride. It was a beautiful affair and the happy couple are adorable!! It was a lot of work and fun! I loved spending time with my Sis and her hubby. They are so much fun....
OK now for getting real and the reality of where I am today......
I did not fare well with my food selections and how much food I ate.....You would think by now that I would be able to handle myself a little better around food.
Friday night, I chose well, but ate way too much!!
Saturday I had a small breakfast, but could not resist the fancy mocha, milky way, blended, fabulous coffee drink I was given. I ate a small lunch but ended up eating the biggest piece of wedding cake on the table. I swear I lost my mind...I did not even think about what I was doing. Then I added mints, nuts and punch to finish out the festivities! Then it was salad for dinner.
Today it was lasagna, salad and lots bread with some sort of berry cobbler that was to die for. Oh and of course some more party favors ~ Hershey kisses.
Looking back I did make "some" good choices, when I was able to choose. A lot of what I ate was out of my hands. But where I'm disappointed is, I may not have had a choice of what was served to me, but I did have a choice about how much of it I put in my mouth.
Unfortunately I failed in the area of minimizing my calorie intake, getting enough rest and sleep. I did not drink very much water and did not get any exercise in. I failed in all areas of my weight loss and fitness plan!!! I failed, I failed, I failed. F++++
So tonight, after the dinner of lasagna and cobbler, we were looking at the slide show pictures of the wedding. I was just sure this time, I would be looking smokin' hot in my little black dress. When I was at my heaviest, I was too fat to wear it and the last time I wore it, prior to losing 45 pounds, I looked like a sausage. It was so tight I could hardly breath. Now it is quite loose, but still looks good. Well so I thought. I saw some pictures of me and I still look like the fat girl I've been for a long time. I could not see any changes.
Here all this time, I've been thinking that I look fairly thin with big boobs and just a poochy tummy. NOPE. I'm fat.....still fat.....I'm a fatty......AUGH!!!!
Before I left for home, I took a moment to talk to my mom. Told her I was so disappointed that I still look so bad. So said, "Oh babe, I have pictures of you where you were a lot heavier ~ You look great now".
Well if I look great now, I must have looked like a flippin' bus back then, because as far as I'm concerned I'm still about as big as a mini van!!!!
So what do I do now?
Do I just give up, because I failed? Keep failing....I'm a failure???
Do I give up because it's just too hard??
Here's what I'm planning to do....
I going to get right back on my plan and I'm going to keep going!!!
I'm going to journal my food, keep my calories at 1500 per day or less, I'm going to exercise, I'm going to drink water and I'm going to keep accountable to you...
I'm going to keep plugging along. Do what I know to do every day and I'm not going to EVER, EVER, EVER, give up.
Isn't that what I've said to many of you? Well that's what I'm going to do.
What's the other thing I keep saying? "It's not a race.....It's a lifestyle!"
I believe it!!
Here's to restarting, new focus and success!!