Just got back from 2 days of visiting my sister and her family. Her 2nd oldest daughter got married and I was there to help my sister set up everything, be there for my niece and lend support to my Sis as the Mother of the Bride. It was a beautiful affair and the happy couple are adorable!! It was a lot of work and fun! I loved spending time with my Sis and her hubby. They are so much fun....
OK now for getting real and the reality of where I am today......
I did not fare well with my food selections and how much food I ate.....You would think by now that I would be able to handle myself a little better around food.
NOPE!!
Friday night, I chose well, but ate way too much!!
Saturday I had a small breakfast, but could not resist the fancy mocha, milky way, blended, fabulous coffee drink I was given. I ate a small lunch but ended up eating the biggest piece of wedding cake on the table. I swear I lost my mind...I did not even think about what I was doing. Then I added mints, nuts and punch to finish out the festivities! Then it was salad for dinner.
Today it was lasagna, salad and lots bread with some sort of berry cobbler that was to die for. Oh and of course some more party favors ~ Hershey kisses.
Looking back I did make "some" good choices, when I was able to choose. A lot of what I ate was out of my hands. But where I'm disappointed is, I may not have had a choice of what was served to me, but I did have a choice about how much of it I put in my mouth.
Unfortunately I failed in the area of minimizing my calorie intake, getting enough rest and sleep. I did not drink very much water and did not get any exercise in. I failed in all areas of my weight loss and fitness plan!!! I failed, I failed, I failed. F++++
So tonight, after the dinner of lasagna and cobbler, we were looking at the slide show pictures of the wedding. I was just sure this time, I would be looking smokin' hot in my little black dress. When I was at my heaviest, I was too fat to wear it and the last time I wore it, prior to losing 45 pounds, I looked like a sausage. It was so tight I could hardly breath. Now it is quite loose, but still looks good. Well so I thought. I saw some pictures of me and I still look like the fat girl I've been for a long time. I could not see any changes.
Here all this time, I've been thinking that I look fairly thin with big boobs and just a poochy tummy. NOPE. I'm fat.....still fat.....I'm a fatty......AUGH!!!!
Before I left for home, I took a moment to talk to my mom. Told her I was so disappointed that I still look so bad. So said, "Oh babe, I have pictures of you where you were a lot heavier ~ You look great now".
Well if I look great now, I must have looked like a flippin' bus back then, because as far as I'm concerned I'm still about as big as a mini van!!!!
So what do I do now?
Well.....
Do I just give up, because I failed? Keep failing....I'm a failure???
Do I give up because it's just too hard??
NOPE.....
Here's what I'm planning to do....
I going to get right back on my plan and I'm going to keep going!!!
I'm going to journal my food, keep my calories at 1500 per day or less, I'm going to exercise, I'm going to drink water and I'm going to keep accountable to you...
I'm going to keep plugging along. Do what I know to do every day and I'm not going to EVER, EVER, EVER, give up.
Isn't that what I've said to many of you? Well that's what I'm going to do.
What's the other thing I keep saying? "It's not a race.....It's a lifestyle!"
I believe it!!
Here's to restarting, new focus and success!!
Hugs!!
Life does happen sometimes. Although it seems as though it happens to us a lot more! I'm sorry to hear about falling of the bandwagon over the weekend. It sucks! I see it as a one-time-occurrence. I assume you don't have a wedding every weekend ^_~
ReplyDeleteAs far as your dress, I'm sure you looked smokin'! I've found that it is better to love yourself at your current size. Lasting happiness does not come from losing weight. All of those problems will still be there. As a friend told me, "Warning: Sexy Curves Ahead!"
**hugs** It is awesome that you are able to keep plotting along. That is the hardest thing to do. You are an inspiration!
You are so right... we may not have control over WHAT is served to us, but we have total control over how much we eat.
ReplyDeleteYep... you made some crummy choices. But I see something in your account that some people don't have yet. You have accepted responsibility for those choices.
Plus, you know that just because you messed up, you don't quit.. you know to just keep plugging away. So you are way ahead of the "I'm such a victim" crowd.
I like to turn these kinds of disasters into learning experiences. And hopefully next time, I don't repeat my mistakes.
One thing you probably already noted: lack of sleep makes one way too vulnerable!
On to health, one good choice at a time!
Loretta
=^..^=
Sometimes I think that looking at pictures is never a good idea. Most of us will always look at ourselves with a greater degree of criticism than others see us. You knew the dress fit differently and that's the true indicator of weight loss.
ReplyDeleteToday is a new day - there are no weddings today!! Hang in there - NEVER GIVE UP!
Weddings are always tough - especially when you're such a big part of them. Please don't let this momentary lapse throw you off course, Joy. You can use it as motivation to look & feel fantastic at your next wedding/family event.
ReplyDeleteLooking at photos is always hard when you're still working towards your goal. Whenever I dedicate myself to eating really well and exercising well I always FEEL better than I LOOK. It's tricky. Maybe you can concentrate on how you're feeling for now?
I think you have the perfect attitude to move forward with this, Joy. Stick to it - we can do this!!
Rae
xo
Don't beat yourself up. That is counterproductive!! Weddings are special times, we all have to learn to incorporate life events in to our eating plans.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience with a dress that was once to small and now fits. I spent the whole day prissing around my office with my new skinny self. I had J-boy take a picture of me to post on my blog when I got home. Looking at the picture snapped me right back in to reality!
Hang in there. It is a long hard road, but you can make it.
Just think...one weekend does not a lifestyle make, you know? I LOVE the attitude about all of it though! Comparison pictures can really be a great motivator when you let them. Of course I was going along great and then all of these health issues came along and I packed part of my loss back on, so when I first saw the old pics they made me sad because I wanted to feel that way again, so I did what you did and turned it to my advantage - I WILL feel that way again, and better, too! Just like you! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Dust off those britches and face those demons head on, girl! God's mercies are new each day! cathyb
ReplyDelete