I know, I know....I'm someone who is usually "joyful". But not today, today I'm a little blue...
This journey has really been a lot of fun. I know, FUN? But for me, I've really enjoyed it so far. I have been at it since January and have had some success!! Definitely stronger, lighter (lost 45 pounds so far), and more agile. Got to love that.
However today I'm am feeling the pressure of it all crashing on my shoulders. I still have 95+ pounds to go. Will I ever make it? Can I continue on this path of activity? I'm tired...really tired.
Will I ever stop fooling around with this thing and get serious and make it happen? Will I ever stop sabotaging myself with goodies? Will my body help me get fit and stop having injuries? Will I make it?
This is what I want to go back to...
I want to eat a bunch of chocolate, like I used to do. I really want to!
I don't want to exercise. I don't want to go to the gym. I want to stay home. My home, I have not been here very much. I just don't want to go anywhere.
I don't want to make healthy food, can't I just go and get something?
Alarm Bells are ringing in my head....Danger....Danger....(Is anyone thinking of Will Robinson about now - If not...you're too young....Google it and you will know what I'm talking about) OK I still have a little tiny bit of humor left in me.
What is this about? It's been 7+ months, am I getting tired of this routine? Am I getting ready to turn back to the old me? Is this normal? Am I in trouble?
What should I do?
Help!!
OK maybe I'm more than a little blue....
Any thoughts?
Hugs!
I think the blues are a normal part of this journey. We grieve for what we have lost - all those goodies we used to so enjoy. The road is long, hard and slow. The slowness gets to me the most. I often forget about the progress I've made and only see what is left ahead.
ReplyDeleteTake comfort in the fact that you aren't alone with these feelings. They come to everyone eventually, this is one of those points where most people quit because it is just too hard. The mental battles are the worst. Stay strong. Tomorrow will be better, and Sunday even better.
Hugs!!
Totally normal. If this was easy to do, no one would be overweight, you know? You sail along and its easy and fun, and suddenly what lies before you seems daunting. Look back at what you achieved and let that give you the strength to get through this rough patch, because it will pass, I promise! You are doing this! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteDo it anyways.
ReplyDeleteYou will have days like this.
You get your gym clothes on. YOu go anyways.
It will make you feel alot more powerful than shoving your face full of chocolate.
Who do you want to be.
Do you want to be the person who sold herself out. Or the one who made it happen.
I totally get the Will Robinson thing! I loved that show when I was a kid.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having such a rough day. Honestly, when I read your words I am reminded of a time when I was having a hard day and I was a new Christian. I was telling a friend that I felt like I was happier before I became a Christian and I just wanted to go back to my old ways. She gently reminded me that I wasn't really happier when I was doing the other things I was just having a hard day.
It seems like it might be kind of like that for you today as well. You just think it would be more fun to go back to the old ways but really you love being 45 pounds lighter! Hang in there...the old ways really weren't better. We thought the food was making us happier and more satisfied but it really wasn't.
I hope you feel better soon...
Hugs..
Vickie
When you "hear" yourself thinking like that try to turn it around into something positive - Yes, you've been doing this for 7 months and look at all you've accomplished! Walk tall and be PROUD! Getting started is the hardest part, you don't want to undo all of your hard work. Mostly little voices that tell you that you don't want to exercise are like the little devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear. Look over there and flick him into the air. Ignore his propaganda. He doesn't have your best interest at heart. He wants you to be weak and helpless not the strong powerful person that you actually are. You can do this!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you just need to mix it up a little bit - new exercise game or DVD, go out to eat but check the menu online first to choose something healthy. Go dancing with friends! Anything!
I'm blue today too. Really been blue for two weeks. But I don't want to give up. Let's push past this together!! :)
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you're saying. I have been a bit down lately, as well. For me, I think it may have something to do with summer coming to an end and the heat, which has kept me from wanting to go out and be active. I always get the blues this time of the year, but when fall arrives, I feel renewed again. We used to deal with these emotional highs and lows with food, and when we can't, it may be helpful to do something else, like take a weekend trip or even go to a movie. You've come so far--don't fall off the wagon, because it's hard to get back on again.
ReplyDeleteYep... normal. You will go through cycles of this as you lose weight. Please do not look at what you have left to lose. Try to focus on how awesomely far you have come already. When I got (and still get) discouraged about the immense amount of weight I had ahead of me, I always tried to look at the road traveled not the road ahead. Hang in there... keep going through the motions, and it will come around. DON'T QUIT!!! What will it get you? It will get me hunting you down... that's what!
ReplyDeleteLook at all the love and support you have momma! Don't this day overtake all that you have accomplished. Remember all the good things that you have done....like wake surfing, smaller clothes, walking/RUNNING a 5k and crossing that finish line with a smile on your face and tears in your eyes!!! Every moment of the journey has been worth it. You can do this! <3
ReplyDelete