Day 54.....Lets just say is was an epic FAILURE!!! No exercise, calories were over the top, did not get my water in, did not journal my food and did not blog. Guess what???? I'm up 2 pounds....Hum!!
So I woke up kind of early....feeling really sluggish....Well it's no wonder why!!!! Anyway, I got on the scale and found that I was up 2 pounds. I promptly went right back to bed ~ defeated!!!!
I'm laying there and my Hubby comes in to give me a kiss goodbye - he works on Sundays. He can tell right off, that I'm in a "mood" and asked what it was about. Once I was done with my boo hooing he simply gives me a hug and says a prayer for me, right then and there!! He leaves for the day and I'm still laying there.
I had a big choice to make...I could lay there for the rest of the day and waste it or I could get up and make some stuff happen.
First thing I did was check out my email from my Blog Friends. I decided to read one that caught my eye and it was from Dawn at Bare it all. (Sorry I don't know how to link to her site) Anyway she was talking about an event she went to and referenced another blog from Kelly Olexa. On Kelly's blog for the day, I saw a statement that I think has changed my life!! Here it is:
"Success must be felt within before it can be seen on the outside."
Deep down I have know this to be true. For me I also know that if you don't feel it....you don't feel it. This is not something you can make up or pretend to have. You've really got to get it in there. Fortunately I've had the feeling before....then lost it. So I know what I'm looking for.
With a smidgen of hope and desire to be successful I decided to get on my treadmill. Do you know that there are only 7 days until my first time at running in a 5(k) and I do not even know if I can do it. I don't think I've ever ran that far ~ ever!!! Do you know how much stress and pressure that puts on a person? Especially when you are fearful that you will get kicked off the course because you can't do it. I just don't want that to happen. And yet.....I have neglected even trying to see if it's a possibility for me. I decided that I needed to really bust this fear out of the water.. So I set out to see how far I can really run.
I'm on my treadmill.....remember with just a thread of hope.....the speed settings were at 3.2......I'm nervous.....holding on to the handle (for crying out loud!!!)....and I'm waiting for something to happen. And all of a sudden, this success mantra started in my head. (I wanted to stop and write it down, but I did not want to break the spell so I pushed on) I kept repeating the mantra...something like...."You're a success...you can do it!" (Sorry can't really remember what the full thing was) I guess it does not matter because all of a sudden my hands left the handle I was holding, my fists curled in to balls and I took a runners pose and got busy! For a while, I kept my eye on the gauge and watched the numbers move toward my 3.1 mile goal. Each minute that went by the closer I got. At some point during all of this the mantra in my head got louder and I got more determined as I got past 30 minutes of running without stopping. Then I set my focus on something and I swear I just went somewhere else. I did not see the treadmill gauge, TV or anything else in the room. No it was just me and my mantra....speaking success into my run and a new determination struck me.....I knew then, that I was not going to stop until I reached my goal. I was going to make it. I was going to have success!! And I DID IT!!
Probably the slowest 5k ever...I clocked in at 52 minutes. But it does not matter. I did it. I ran it for 52 minutes without stopping!!!!
Once I was done, it felt like I was walking on a cloud. You know that's an amazing feeling!!
I was so happy to receive the blog award for Jessica. She's been an awesome support to me. If you don't know her now, go visit her, you will not be sorry. I have decided that I would give the award to Dawn at Bare it all. Because of what she wrote today helped change the way I think and I was able to achieve success!! Thank you Dawn!!!!
How about you? Are you looking for your success!